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Old 08-06-2019, 08:09 PM
 
Location: USA
447 posts, read 1,072,411 times
Reputation: 227

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This guy sent me an interest on dating/matrimony site. We both live in same state now, few hours apart.

It's been 6 weeks now since we started interacting over the phone. Initial 3 weeks he was nice. Would call me every other day and talk for few mins and then about 30 mins over the weekend. He said we should meet in person and he is ready to fly down and gave me a date. He kept making plans for 3 weeks, then suddenly after that got super busy with work. Calls reduced to either only on weekends or sometimes during the week he would call from work, but only for 1-3 mins. Stopped talking about meeting in person too since he is busy. He said he lost his father early this year.

So since last 3 weeks, whenever he called, he would get annoyed or angry for even smallest things e.g: me pronouncing a city name incorrectly or if I ask him why isn't he spending much time with me or how did he suddenly got so much of work and then will say that he is not interested in talking to me at the moment due to it but he will call me later. Twice I ignored it. 3rd time when I argued back, he said he is not only he is not interested in talking to me now, but doesn't want to talk ever again. Then immediately he changed and said he will call me later but doesn't want to talk now.

I wasn't sure what was going on i.e. if he is not interested or stressed due to work or down due to dad's loss. Wanted to ask, but he had completely shut me down. Then he called me once, talked for 3-4 mins as if nothing had happened and then again got angry since I was feeding my pets while talking (he was driving too) and said he will call later. I told him I am done feeding them and can talk, but he said he is not interested in talking to me now and will call me in a bit after he reaches home. I didn't like it but told him that I can talk if he is willing too or if he doesn't want to talk at all like he said few days back, it's fine with me. He said he will call me after going home and it's been a week and never called.

I am still not sure what happened and why he ghosted, but am not able to take my mind off of it. Wish I would have got some closure.
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Old 08-06-2019, 08:12 PM
 
1,215 posts, read 363,993 times
Reputation: 2610
This is a slam dunk: Move on.
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Old 08-06-2019, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
876 posts, read 173,964 times
Reputation: 1371
Let him go, he clearly has issues. People who get annoyed & angry over the smallest things are very draining to be around.
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Old 08-06-2019, 08:17 PM
 
468 posts, read 183,718 times
Reputation: 613
Don't be so "optimistic" about him.

Toss him to the curb and move on to someone/ something else.
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Old 08-06-2019, 08:50 PM
 
118 posts, read 18,389 times
Reputation: 108
Run. You haven’t officially met the guy and there is so much drama already?
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Old 08-06-2019, 10:41 PM
 
Location: USA
447 posts, read 1,072,411 times
Reputation: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
Run. You haven’t officially met the guy and there is so much drama already?
Something definitely seems to be wrong with him. He either has strong ego issues or is a narc. I am surprised a guy telling a woman that he is not interested in talking to her for that day as he is annoyed/angry.

He would keep saying that I should appreciate him finding time and calling me (for 1-3 mins). He reduced calling me after that which was like him punishing me for not appreciating him. I always tried telling him that if he is so much interested in me, he should take out some time maybe on weekends so we can talk and know each other better.

Also part of it is my mistake too. He had sent me an interest 7 years back where we talked for a month, did face time and back then too he said he will fly to meet me, but ghosted after that. When I got his interest this time around, I thought about it for a week and since 7 years have passed I thought people grow and things might have changed. But to my surprise, he doesn't even remember talking to me (had to show him chat messages). I was in a different state back then and when I asked why didn't he come and ghosted me, he said it was too far for him and he didn't wanted long distance. My profile clearly specified I was in a diff state, still he wasted my time back then. But this time he said since we are in the same state, he wants to meet for sure and he will definitely make sure to meet this time. So I thought of trusting him for this again and giving us a second chance. But some people never change and history repeats.
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Old 08-06-2019, 10:46 PM
Status: "I don't FEEL tardy." (set 22 days ago)
 
2,074 posts, read 1,006,552 times
Reputation: 5712
I hope you're not pining over and making a fool of yourself for some clown who has the audacity to tell you you should be grateful for the few minutes of time he can toss at you.

Some people will tolerate anything just to have 'something'. Don't be that desperate or thirsty.
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Old 08-06-2019, 10:50 PM
 
908 posts, read 486,993 times
Reputation: 879
he could be acting out to get you to dump him. easier than telling you he's not interested or found someone else. some people do that.
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Old 08-06-2019, 10:57 PM
 
Location: USA
447 posts, read 1,072,411 times
Reputation: 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
I hope you're not pining over and making a fool of yourself for some clown who has the audacity to tell you you should be grateful for the few minutes of time he can toss at you.

Some people will tolerate anything just to have 'something'. Don't be that desperate or thirsty.
Am not pining on him. I just wanted to know what was bothering him suddenly, but he didn't seem interested in talking to me at all, so I can't even help him if incase he was dealing with heavy work pressure or loss of his dad.

I was never desperate or thirsty, but he only wanted me to call and text him more often. I did it a few times, but his excuse was the same that he is busy and will call me later and that later would never come. So I told him to initiate calls whenever he is free.
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Old 08-06-2019, 11:39 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
13,486 posts, read 22,099,113 times
Reputation: 24033
He sounds like a complete dud. Next!
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