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Old Today, 04:16 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
My father was a lawyer. Interestingly he was single for the 35 years he worked as a lawyer. He got married (to his 2nd wife. His first was my mother) the year he retired. He was married to his profession. Lawyering is soul sucking work.

If you want to be the girlfriend or wife of a lawyer it seems you have to be content coming second to his profession. If you just want to live rent free whilst he works to pay bills and you rarely see him, it is a good scenario then.
You have to judge every relationship for that relationship....not on how it was with your father or for lawyers....but by each person..& each individual relationship IMO.....

 
Old Today, 04:19 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
It's a little condescending to say that everybody who dislikes their job lives a miserable existence, what about the woman who works two lower wage jobs to feed her kids.

But like I said, if you don't care, you don't care...
I am not saying I'm Mother Teresa.......or that I don't care about people. Just that I wouldn't get romantically interested in a man who hated his job.........it's a red flag IMO for a successful relationship......
 
Old Today, 04:19 PM
 
158 posts, read 30,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
I would elminate them....because it rubs the wrong way.....if a man is unhappy with what he does in life, he is not gonna be too happy in anything else
ALOT of people must rub you the wrong way in general then. A significant (not ALL) number of people don't like their jobs, many can and do go back to school, train and change their careers. Others have children to prioritize and can't at the moment. Too blanket of a statement...too broad of a brush even as an opinion... in my opinion
 
Old Today, 04:21 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If a prenup is fair, I think it's okay to ask someone to sign one if there is a significant difference in assets. I know someone who married a woman (mail order bride scenario) and he put the house in both their names. Marriage lasted a few years and when they divorced she got half the house that he bought. His financial situation isn't that great anymore. I don't know if a prenup would have protected him very much, though. I'm not a lawyer and don't know much about prenups.
A man that wants a mail order bride is kinda creepy IMO...& not really an equal relationship..........
 
Old Today, 04:24 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
ALOT of people must rub you the wrong way in general then. A significant (not ALL) number of people don't like their jobs, many can and do go back to school, train and change their careers. Others have children to prioritize and can't at the moment. Too blanket of a statement...too broad of a brush even as an opinion... in my opinion
I'm sorry for that....BUT who I would or wouldn't date is not really the topic of my thread...........& I am in a committed relationship with my Bf so I don't date anyone else anyways.........shrugs.
 
Old Today, 04:27 PM
 
7,667 posts, read 3,016,254 times
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The only time I didn't contribute equally financially, was when I was a stay at home mother. I still felt guilty, even though we had enough money for me to do that. So I was super mom and also did every other thing to maintain the house and family.
 
Old Today, 04:34 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post


But IF this is supposedly a romantic relationship turning into a marriage, I would likely break up with the guy, if he asked for a prenup. Clearly there's no trust if I'm expected to OK the guy's exit strategy. LOL That's how I'D feel about it. LOL
A prenup would be fair IMO. If we ever got married, it wouldn't be for his money & if he wanted me to do that over stuff he has before he met me, I would want him to know I would.......so thank you for bringing that up.........BUT we aren't engaged ..Lol.....
 
Old Today, 04:35 PM
 
930 posts, read 238,102 times
Reputation: 1595
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I wonder how much student loan debt she had? Teachers don't make tons of money. But even if he hadn't made payments on her debt, it still would have affected their joint finances in some ways. I would never marry someone who was paying child support or had massive student loans. I personally, dated mostly older men who were many years away from college and either didn't have kids or had adult children. I didn't want to marry someone else's financial baggage.
She obtained a master's degree. He had a high income job and I don't think minded assuming her student loan payments. It was the financial exploitation that caused him to become jaded. It was really too bad as the bitterness ended up affecting his relationships post divorce. They were relatively young and of course it never entered his mind that this could happen within one year of marriage.
 
Old Today, 04:35 PM
 
9,044 posts, read 5,208,537 times
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As long as the people involved feel their arrangement is fair, what else matters?

It's not always as simple as 50/50 is fair. Early in life this is more likely, but later in life things can be more complicated.
 
Old Today, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,204 posts, read 17,534,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I wouldn’t be in a relationship where I was contributing an unbalanced share of the money for expenses. It is on thing to be 51/49 in contributing by each party. I start to get suspicious if I notice I’m contributing 60% and the partner is contributing 40%. And yes I know how to calculate.
What happens if your partner/spouse develops cancer or is disabled or is ill and can't work? Would you kick them out because they aren't paying their fair share?

What if your partner/spouse loses their job? How many days or weeks would you "allow" them to be unemployed before you kick them out?

What if you become disabled/develop cancer/became seriously ill/lose your job/whatever how long before your partner/spouse should kick you out because you aren't paying your fair share of the expenses?
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