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Old Today, 04:45 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
Reputation: 1141

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Plenty of people who don't have jobs, can and do walk out of bad marriages. Even without a financial cushion. A woman who stays home to take care of young children is not being "kept". She is making a financial contribution by providing childcare. Finances is not just about someone's job title or salary. A lot of high-earning professional people have massive debt. That's a liability right there. I dated a man who didn't like my secretarial job and thought I should earn more money, and that's why we broke up; he went on to marry a woman who owed 200,000 in student loans that he didn't know about until after he married her. He should have stuck with me, I had no debt. I hope he has fun helping her pay off her massive student loans.
Ita.....finding someone who is financially responsible & doesn't have a lot of debt is very important....for both people!!!! It's not always something you know....when you start dating a guy.......but it should defanitely come out in the open before the relationship gets serious.........along with a lot more stuff that should be in the open by then too.....

 
Old Today, 04:47 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
Reputation: 1141
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
What happens if your partner/spouse develops cancer or is disabled or is ill and can't work? Would you kick them out because they aren't paying their fair share?

What if your partner/spouse loses their job? How many days or weeks would you "allow" them to be unemployed before you kick them out?

What if you become disabled/develop cancer/became seriously ill/lose your job/whatever how long before your partner/spouse should kick you out because you aren't paying your fair share of the expenses?
You make good points to the people that wouldn't tolerate it or think it has to be no more than 60/40............
 
Old Today, 05:05 PM
 
7,667 posts, read 3,016,254 times
Reputation: 12658
When someone is disabled they collect SS/DI. Also, there are plenty of Sugar Baby / Sugar Daddy relationships in the world, each brings something "worth it" to the table. One of the two skates sometimes, or one of the 2 gets older and worries about being traded in for 2 20's.
 
Old Today, 05:06 PM
 
7,520 posts, read 11,643,642 times
Reputation: 8374
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
What happens if your partner/spouse develops cancer or is disabled or is ill and can't work? Would you kick them out because they aren't paying their fair share?

What if your partner/spouse loses their job? How many days or weeks would you "allow" them to be unemployed before you kick them out?

What if you become disabled/develop cancer/became seriously ill/lose your job/whatever how long before your partner/spouse should kick you out because you aren't paying your fair share of the expenses?
That's a completely different situation.

My parents don't give me any $ for rent, food, or beer, but if I were sick I would expect them to let me stay there and give me rides to chemo ... and ... I DO have experience with cancer in my life.

That has nothing to do with thinking a certain distribution of income when both parties are able to earn will make for better compatibility.

Comparing apples to oranges.
 
Old Today, 05:13 PM
 
9,044 posts, read 5,208,537 times
Reputation: 10294
Quote:
Originally Posted by Numberconfusion View Post
Yes, if both partners are retirement age and 1 earns a lot more than the other and also there is a huge disparity of assets, do you take that chance to have the relationship even a really good one??? Isn't a matter of time before the 1 partner will likely be supporting the other (and more like medical bills, nursing home, etc.)?
I was thinking more along the lines of one person moving into the other person's house. Maybe it's more expensive than the other person would choose. Or there isn't enough storage. Or it's too much of a commute. So is 50/50 "fair" in these cases? I don't think so, and I can see how a couple might decide that "fair" is something other than 50/50.

But your point is very valid, too.
 
Old Today, 05:13 PM
 
2,175 posts, read 1,718,886 times
Reputation: 2740
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northshoregirl2019 View Post
... Despite all this, in the heat of an argument, he would bring up my "little job" and how I wouldn't be able to survive without him. Rich coming from the man who one day went out and bought a Porsche Boxter without mentioning it to me.
What an ass.
 
Old Today, 05:19 PM
 
930 posts, read 238,102 times
Reputation: 1595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Numberconfusion View Post
Yes, if both partners are retirement age and 1 earns a lot more than the other and also there is a huge disparity of assets, do you take that chance to have the relationship even a really good one??? Isn't a matter of time before the 1 partner will likely be supporting the other (and more like medical bills, nursing home, etc.)?
From what I understand in retirement communities, it called seeking a "nurse with a purse."
 
Old Today, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,693 posts, read 33,578,364 times
Reputation: 32493
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
What happens if your partner/spouse develops cancer or is disabled or is ill and can't work? Would you kick them out because they aren't paying their fair share?

What if your partner/spouse loses their job? How many days or weeks would you "allow" them to be unemployed before you kick them out?

What if you become disabled/develop cancer/became seriously ill/lose your job/whatever how long before your partner/spouse should kick you out because you aren't paying your fair share of the expenses?
Id cross that bridge if I get to itz
 
Old Today, 05:23 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
Reputation: 1141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie104 View Post
From what I understand in retirement communities, it called seeking a "nurse with a purse."
Lol....my grandparents are retired & still married....but I gotta ask them if they have heard of this phrase.........
 
Old Today, 05:27 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,297 posts, read 298,144 times
Reputation: 1141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northshoregirl2019 View Post

OP, point being do what works best for you and your partner. Have open and honest discussions about money and expectations. As long as both of you are comfortable with the arrangement and you feel confident that you are not going to be "salary shamed" by him, then it's all good.


Thank you....he has never "salary shamed" me....he respects what I do as an RN. I would not be with a man that would shame me about *anything*........
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