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Old 08-09-2019, 03:55 AM
 
7,588 posts, read 4,158,224 times
Reputation: 6946

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I've taken acting jobs, once in a while cause I am trying to get into the filmmaking scene more. One filmmaker I worked with before needed an actor that involved a sex scene in a movie. It was actually a rape scene. So I did, cause she helped me out on projects in the past, so why not help her.

But it bothered by gf that I did that with another actress in a shoot.

I have another project coming up where I am playing a part where I have to something similar, but she is also bothered by this, and seems to think i am up to something.

It's just acting, and I'm trying to get onto projects, nothing more to be analyzed. Is there a way I can make her see that, cause I think after I do it, she is just going to be more bothered by it.

Moderator comment: Tread lightly, people. There's no need to discuss the details of the scenes shot, so don't ask. Stay on topic, please. Thanks!
You do not satisfy her expectations in a relationship. Somebody should have taken the big step here and dumped the relationship.
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Old 08-09-2019, 04:44 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,669 posts, read 87,060,489 times
Reputation: 131638
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Is it up to her to write the scripts for the films you are in? She sounds jealous and controlling.

Not if you think about the script he is writing for his own movie.
Rape and violence seem to preocupy OP's mind. He is probably fantasizing about that. It's also the main topic of his script.
I suspect he was volunteering for the scene for a reason - to experience it on his own. GF has every right to be bothered by that.
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Old 08-09-2019, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,171 posts, read 26,187,400 times
Reputation: 27914
Mod said not to ask about particulars but it may matter if it's simulated or a porn production.
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Old 08-09-2019, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Virginia
10,091 posts, read 6,424,617 times
Reputation: 27654
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
Not if you think about the script he is writing for his own movie.
Rape and violence seem to preocupy OP's mind. He is probably fantasizing about that. It's also the main topic of his script.
I suspect he was volunteering for the scene for a reason - to experience it on his own. GF has every right to be bothered by that.
I agree. I think the OP volunteered not so much to "help out" a friend, but because he's enjoying the heck out of this "acting" experience.
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Old 08-09-2019, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
23,652 posts, read 13,973,291 times
Reputation: 18856
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I've taken acting jobs, once in a while cause I am trying to get into the filmmaking scene more. One filmmaker I worked with before needed an actor that involved a sex scene in a movie. It was actually a rape scene. So I did, cause she helped me out on projects in the past, so why not help her.

But it bothered by gf that I did that with another actress in a shoot.

I have another project coming up where I am playing a part where I have to something similar, but she is also bothered by this, and seems to think i am up to something.

It's just acting, and I'm trying to get onto projects, nothing more to be analyzed. Is there a way I can make her see that, cause I think after I do it, she is just going to be more bothered by it.

Moderator comment: Tread lightly, people. There's no need to discuss the details of the scenes shot, so don't ask. Stay on topic, please. Thanks!
You certainly do come to this site with the most interesting questions!

Okay, this is something of an ethical problem I've had before, such as if I had to play a serial killer on stage, and I'm not sure if I have worked out the answer yet for me. That is, can I accept it to my self being someone that should not be tolerated in the real world. On stage, I don't have that answer yet.

When I am a despicable person on a mission, however, I become a different person and I am that person for the mission because it is necessary. I hold no regret that I have submerged that deep to be that person and part of it might be because of the defencive layers between who I was on the mission and how I react, must react, if I meet that person in public. That is, I have never met them and despite any insistence "about last night", I am calm, polite, and tell them they just simply must be mistaken.

"Oh, do you mind working with ladies?"--Holly
"Why, no, I mean, it's just acting!"--clueless mainstream actress
"That's a very professional attitude to take but personally, I can't stand it.", "Body Double"

It's just acting and, yes it is but we all have to find our level of ethics, our level of psychological commitment to determine how much of us is in there, how long we can stay like that, and.......how much of us remains there.

So, two things. First, how to convince her of your world? Let her take some acting classes.

But secondly, beware for she may find a reason that we like acting is that we get to be the person we can't be in reality.......and then, you may be back to the same problem.
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Old 08-09-2019, 07:28 AM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,019,200 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
Maybe the underlying issue is that she worries you can't keep yourself under control. Stay detached. That you won't be able to treat the actress performing the scene with you like a business partner instead of a romantic one. Suggests lack of trust and insecurity. Does she show you she doesn't trust you in other ways? You do seem to have a lot of sex-related problems with this girlfriend.

Well, for what it's worth, this is a common issue with actors and actresses, and their significant others. A recent example would be the movie "A Star is Born" with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. Lots of gossip was flying around about whether Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper were just acting, or was there something actually steamy between the two. And LOTS of movie stars have left their significant others for people that they starred with in movies. So, I don't think Ironpony's GF is necessarily a "one-off" when it comes to these things.


I don't know how you fix it OP, except to reassure her always, that she's the one you care about. Or maybe you could invite her to be at the set with you, just to watch and observe what actually goes on with making a movie, shooting a scene, etc. Maybe it would take the mystery out of everything for her and she could see for herself that it's just a job.
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Old 08-09-2019, 07:40 AM
 
9,373 posts, read 6,972,249 times
Reputation: 14775
Tell her you’re a starving actor.
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Old 08-09-2019, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,374,216 times
Reputation: 25948
If I was lucky enough to have an acting career, I probably wouldn't let any relationship stand in my way of that.
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Old 08-09-2019, 10:44 AM
 
50,730 posts, read 36,431,973 times
Reputation: 76547
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I've taken acting jobs, once in a while cause I am trying to get into the filmmaking scene more. One filmmaker I worked with before needed an actor that involved a sex scene in a movie. It was actually a rape scene. So I did, cause she helped me out on projects in the past, so why not help her.

But it bothered by gf that I did that with another actress in a shoot.

I have another project coming up where I am playing a part where I have to something similar, but she is also bothered by this, and seems to think i am up to something.

It's just acting, and I'm trying to get onto projects, nothing more to be analyzed. Is there a way I can make her see that, cause I think after I do it, she is just going to be more bothered by it.

Moderator comment: Tread lightly, people. There's no need to discuss the details of the scenes shot, so don't ask. Stay on topic, please. Thanks!
What about bringing her to the set during filming so she can see it’s just acting? Why are they only hiring you to be a rapist? Do you have other type scenes in the movie, do you have lines? This is a very normal thing, any woman would feel threatened and jealous by that. It certainly doesn’t help the situation that your girlfriend has been disappointed in the amount of sex she’s been having with you lately.
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Old 08-09-2019, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,453 posts, read 61,373,044 times
Reputation: 30397
If it were me, I would bring the gf to the set. Introduce her to the cast. Have her stay and watch the filming, and all re-takes.
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