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Old Yesterday, 08:40 AM
 
8,276 posts, read 6,087,989 times
Reputation: 5883

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Quote:
Originally Posted by abrooklyn93 View Post
Unfortunatly he's trying to gaslight me now.

He contacted me saying he's "tired of me thinking that I embarrass him in public..." He does.

Then he said that "I was about to get out of the shower when he left anyway" .. this is a lie.

Am I insane or is leaving in the middle of a minor disagreement and not picking up calls emotionally abusive?

He sent me this text this morning basically saying I'm the one that's wrong and has now blocked my number. He thinks he can just pick and choose when he wants to engage. How is this okay?
Run don't walk. And block his number. If possible, get a restraining order, he sounds like he might be...just dodge this bullet.
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Old Yesterday, 08:45 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
40,544 posts, read 3,083,435 times
Reputation: 13285
Quote:
Originally Posted by abrooklyn93 View Post
Unfortunatly he's trying to gaslight me now.

He contacted me saying he's "tired of me thinking that I embarrass him in public..." He does.

Then he said that "I was about to get out of the shower when he left anyway" .. this is a lie.

Am I insane or is leaving in the middle of a minor disagreement and not picking up calls emotionally abusive?

He sent me this text this morning basically saying I'm the one that's wrong and has now blocked my number. He thinks he can just pick and choose when he wants to engage. How is this okay?
Oh good grief, of course it is not OK, in way shape or form. Be glad he has blocked you, block him back & forget him, he sounds like a looser anyhow.
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Old Yesterday, 08:46 AM
 
1,021 posts, read 229,745 times
Reputation: 2040
I'll play devil's advocate.
Leaving the door unlocked just could be a simple mistake. It happens.
Also, it isn't uncommon for people to argue occasionally.
It's possible your relationship is perfectly healthy.
BUT you did mention you are depressed. Is it possible THAT is 90% of the problem?

My parents were married 56 years and only had one fight - but that fight lasted 55 years.
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Old Yesterday, 09:21 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,175 posts, read 71,261,634 times
Reputation: 77345
Quote:
Originally Posted by abrooklyn93 View Post
Unfortunatly he's trying to gaslight me now.

He contacted me saying he's "tired of me thinking that I embarrass him in public..." He does.

Then he said that "I was about to get out of the shower when he left anyway" .. this is a lie.

Am I insane or is leaving in the middle of a minor disagreement and not picking up calls emotionally abusive?

He sent me this text this morning basically saying I'm the one that's wrong and has now blocked my number. He thinks he can just pick and choose when he wants to engage. How is this okay?
He did you a favor, OP. Just let him go, and be glad it's over. Block his number, too, and move on, after breathing a Hugh sigh of relief. You're liberated form his moodiness. Time to celebrate!

If at some point, he tries to bounce back, be firm in telling him it's over, and if that doesn't work and he starts harassing you---it's restraining order time.
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Old Yesterday, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,920 posts, read 25,437,341 times
Reputation: 26486
I agree. He did you a favor. Stay away from him!
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Old Yesterday, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
339 posts, read 99,439 times
Reputation: 217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
He did you a favor, OP. Just let him go, and be glad it's over. Block his number, too, and move on, after breathing a Hugh sigh of relief. You're liberated form his moodiness. Time to celebrate!

If at some point, he tries to bounce back, be firm in telling him it's over, and if that doesn't work and he starts harassing you---it's restraining order time.



My thoughts exactly. He wants to block you? Well, return the favor. This way if he does decide to unblock you so he can conveniently pop back into your life, he can't. If none of his stuff is at your place, it'll be even easier to remove him from the equation. He needs help, and it's not your job to be his therapist. You said you live in an apartment correct? Is it possible to contact the landlord, explain what happened, and request to have your locks changed?


I would start doing all of this ASAP. He has put you through enough BS, and that should be the final nail in the coffin for you.
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Old Yesterday, 09:41 AM
 
13,722 posts, read 13,715,582 times
Reputation: 40011
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
I'll play devil's advocate.
Leaving the door unlocked just could be a simple mistake. It happens.
Also, it isn't uncommon for people to argue occasionally.
It's possible your relationship is perfectly healthy.
BUT you did mention you are depressed. Is it possible THAT is 90% of the problem?

My parents were married 56 years and only had one fight - but that fight lasted 55 years.
"I'll play devil's advocate" is just an excuse for letting your uglies out.

You question if her being depressed is 90% of the problem, but why don't you wonder if the relationship she is clearly unhappy with is adding to her depression?

And it's not about arguing "occasionally" - it's about someone who doesn't know how to engage with another person as a mature adult, and then plays games like "blocking" their significant other. That's bush league BS.
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Old Yesterday, 09:43 AM
 
7,463 posts, read 8,743,819 times
Reputation: 9512
Drama begets more drama.

I predict more drama
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Old Yesterday, 10:31 AM
 
6,873 posts, read 2,481,192 times
Reputation: 15776
Quote:
Originally Posted by abrooklyn93 View Post
Unfortunatly he's trying to gaslight me now.

He contacted me saying he's "tired of me thinking that I embarrass him in public..." He does.

Then he said that "I was about to get out of the shower when he left anyway" .. this is a lie.

Am I insane or is leaving in the middle of a minor disagreement and not picking up calls emotionally abusive?

He sent me this text this morning basically saying I'm the one that's wrong and has now blocked my number. He thinks he can just pick and choose when he wants to engage. How is this okay?

This is frustrating to me. And probably to a lot of us.


You KNOW it's emotionally abusive. The real issue at this point is, what are you going to do about it. Are you going to take it anymore? Do you think this is normal? Do you think you somehow deserve it?
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Old Yesterday, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Billings, MT
9,570 posts, read 7,916,147 times
Reputation: 13366
1. Pack up anything he left in your apartment and put it out on the sidewalk.
2. Change the locks on your door, or have them re-keyed.
3. Change your phone number, then block his.
4. Forget about him!
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