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Old 08-26-2019, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,680 posts, read 8,274,875 times
Reputation: 5410

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If you're not the type to lose things, you tell buster that you'll wear your ring when YOU want & tell him to back off w/ being controlling!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan123 View Post
Sounds suspicious to me. It sounds more like he's worried about someone finding out you're engaged. I don't think it's about the ring itself.

Tell him if he's really concerned about the ring, you will buy a cheap ring with a fake stone (they have some that look nice) and wear that. I wonder if he will still be "worried about the ring".
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905 View Post
Lol literally anybody and everybody knows that we are together, there would be no reason to hide it.
If you say so, but I thought of what Rowan123 too because I've never heard of such a thing re: a man thinking this. But I disagree that you should have to buy a fake ring to wear everyday. You shouldn't have to. Are you a grown woman or a 5-yr old kid?! He should be thinking the opposite, which is:

Him being GLAD & PROUD to have you wear his ring because he loves you, you love him & he wants the world to know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
OP, are you generally in the habit of losing or breaking things?

It does sound very strange that a guy and his best friend are even talking about this issue when it should be just the two of you deciding. The best friend's opinion is completely irrelevant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
They’re meant to be worn and enjoyed all the time, unless you don’t enjoy wearing jewelry. What a strange conversation for two men to have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skaternum View Post
This is utter nonsense. Everyone in the US wears their engagement ring all the time, unless there is a workplace safety or sensitivity issue. Your BF is either clueless, or he's trying to manipulate you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
If you plan on being micromanaged by your boyfriend, you might as well start by letting him dictate when you wear what. Good luck with that.
I agree w/ all of these too. Do you normally lose things in which your BF is legitly worried that you'll lose the ring too? If that's the ONLY case, then I guess he has legit reason to worry, but other than that, he's being an anal @s$.

He sounds controlling & I doubt this is 1st time he's been controlling w/ you like this. Are you sure you want to enter into a marriage w/ such an idiotic, illogical, controlling a-hole like this because it will only get WORSE as time goes. I wouldn't want this guy!!!

gentlearts is right. If he's like this about a ring that he bought for YOU so it belongs to YOU, God knows what else he'll be controlling about:

- what you wear
- what/how you eat...he may start to think you're gaining too much weight for his liking
- how often you hang out w/ your friends
- driving HIS car...some men don't allow their SOs/women to drive their car
- etc., etc., etc., the list is endless of what things a controlling man could be controlling about

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen963 View Post
You should be able to wear your engagement ring as often as you want to. Why would you let anyone else try to regulate usage of YOUR ring?

And why are YOU okay with his best friend having a voice/say in a matter that's between you and your BF?

Between this issue and your other threads about you and your BF, this doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship with him.
I don't recall your other threads, I may have read or posted to 1 or more, but if this is the case, I don't even have to read those other threads to know that he seems like a [bleep]. He's treating you like a kid who needs hand-holding. Do you want to be treated like some stupid, weak ninny who needs a loser like this to tell you what to do?!

I read your thread to my fiance' & he thinks your BF's thinking is all stupid BS & that he & his & BF should be engaged then since they're obviously in the habit of talking about topics & coming up w/ decisions w/o you!

Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-26-2019 at 11:49 PM..
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Old 08-26-2019, 12:18 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,395 posts, read 71,706,666 times
Reputation: 77803
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen963 View Post
You should be able to wear your engagement ring as often as you want to. Why would you let anyone else try to regulate usage of YOUR ring?

And why are YOU okay with his best friend having a voice/say in a matter that's between you and your BF?

Between this issue and your other threads about you and your BF, this doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship with him.
The bolded is especially weird, but the whole issue is strange. Ask him if he's sure he wants to be engaged. If he says yes, then ask him if he understands the way gifts work. The person you make a gift to is the one who determines how and when to use the gift, because they're the owner of it.It's the giftee's property, to use as she sees fit.
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Old 08-26-2019, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,123 posts, read 42,667,287 times
Reputation: 85310
This thread casts a lot of light on her mindset about the topic:

BF and I agreed on engagement timeline, but now I want to move it up?

She basically expects that being married will solve a lot of her problems, and I think that he has picked up on that and is (naturally) hesitant.

They HAD a "timeline" they agreed on, but she went back on that agreement.
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:11 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,210 posts, read 13,063,905 times
Reputation: 31722
Another thread about the engagement that hasn't happened yet? Really? Get engaged already!
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:13 PM
 
1,445 posts, read 573,320 times
Reputation: 3226
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905 View Post
BF and I are going to be engaged in the next month or so.

We were talking today, and he told me that he told his best friend our plans on our impending engagement.

He let me know that him and his best friend agree that an engagement ring is NOT something you wear all the time. Rather, you really only wear it to nice events, wedding-related activities, or formal events.

I said, Ďbut I think if Iím just sitting at work or doing sedentary things, I think wearing my engagement ring is fine and nothing to worry about.

I think his biggest worry is that I lose or damage the ring.

How can I calm him down and explain that, yes wearing my ring to the gym, showering, moving, and other physical activities makes sense. But itís fine for me to wear it to places where I wonít be really doing anything other than walking or sitting?

Is he being unreasonable?
Your BF and his best friend is full of BS! An engagement ring one wheres all the time to announce to everyone that you're ENGAGED!! Obviously it sounds to me like it's just an excuse he's wanting to use on you hoping that you would fall for this BS. I would understand if you had a certain job where you would take off the ring or ANY ring for that matter due to the nature of the job..having to do with safety.That to me and most people would be the only reason to not where your ring BUT once the job would be over...I would wear it.
His view is off.Do you really want to be in a relationship still with this person?Sounds to me that he also would believe that even after you're married...one shouldn't have to wear their wedding ring as well.
Watch out for this one.
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:13 PM
 
Location: southern california
56,029 posts, read 75,074,816 times
Reputation: 48660
Women love to show their jewelry that is normal if you are in a safe place no reason not to
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Texas from Maryland
31 posts, read 2,433 times
Reputation: 29
Maybe you should just reconsider the whole relationship. Too many red flags.
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Toronto
392 posts, read 86,646 times
Reputation: 354
It's called getting insurance. But agreed. He shouldn't be that controlling.
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Old 08-26-2019, 07:06 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,645 posts, read 17,328,784 times
Reputation: 13529
How fancy is this thing?!!
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Old 08-26-2019, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,123 posts, read 42,667,287 times
Reputation: 85310
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
How fancy is this thing?!!
I don't think he's given it to her yet.
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