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Old Yesterday, 12:23 PM
 
5 posts, read 447 times
Reputation: 10

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Hello!
1.5 month ago I met a guy on Tinder. He was texting/calling me every day, organizing dates, etc. On our third date he showed something on his phone and I saw tinder notification.. On the next one we kissed, were holding hands, hugging, we was very affectionate. He started to talk about the future, where we can go in few months, about me meeting his friends, he said he's looking for serious relationship. However, I've noticed his location on the app is changing - when he went home, came back and now when he's on vacation. I started conversation about us and he said he is talking to and only seeing me. I asked about the app. He said he is using it just when he's bored, he can remove it, that he cares about me and his previous relationship failed because of lies and he doesn't want that again. Then he said he was using it to see my pictures.. It's been 1.5 and we didn't sleep with each other and were not exclsive but I feel like he lied to me saying he doesn't talk to anyone while he waa using Tinder.
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Old Yesterday, 12:42 PM
 
716 posts, read 242,930 times
Reputation: 2174
Generally speaking, Tinder folks are not looking for long-term relationships.

Using it to see your pics? Can't you text/insta/anything else?
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Old Yesterday, 12:45 PM
 
5 posts, read 447 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
Generally speaking, Tinder folks are not looking for long-term relationships.

Using it to see your pics? Can't you text/insta/anything else?
Among friends I know some couples who met on Tinder. I live in Europe, I believe it's slightly different here. Also in his bio he stated he's looking for relationship.
No, I don't have instagram, on facebook I don't have a photo. His initial response was thay he is using it while he's bored though.
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Old Yesterday, 12:48 PM
 
716 posts, read 242,930 times
Reputation: 2174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolinne View Post
Among friends I know some couples who met on Tinder. I live in Europe, I believe it's slightly different here.
No, I don't have instagram, on facebook I don't have a photo. His initial response was thay he is using it while he's bored though.
Ah, possibly. My apologies for the incorrect assumption. But yeah, if he's scrolling when bored? Meh.

I'd be concerned but then it's only been a month and a half. Have you had the exclusivity convo?
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Old Yesterday, 01:00 PM
 
5 posts, read 447 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
Ah, possibly. My apologies for the incorrect assumption. But yeah, if he's scrolling when bored? Meh.

I'd be concerned but then it's only been a month and a half. Have you had the exclusivity convo?
Yes, I am concerned. No, we didn't have "the talk" but he told me just before I told him I know he's using dating app that "for him it was obvious we are exclusive, he does not meet and do not talk to other girls". That's why I told him I saw he's still using Tinder and asked for explaination.
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Old Yesterday, 01:45 PM
Status: "Mr. C's ❤️" (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,564 posts, read 708,297 times
Reputation: 3146
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolinne View Post
Yes, I am concerned. No, we didn't have "the talk" but he told me just before I told him I know he's using dating app that "for him it was obvious we are exclusive, he does not meet and do not talk to other girls". That's why I told him I saw he's still using Tinder and asked for explaination.
But it's not "obvious" if he's still using Tinder.

You need to have a chat with him about being exclusive with each other to make sure you're both on the same page.

... and to hopefully prevent a future conversation that starts with... "Well, I didn't actually "say" I wanted to be exclusive with you..."
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Old Yesterday, 05:46 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,101 posts, read 8,420,787 times
Reputation: 11637
I met my husband on Tinder so not everyone there is just messing around. If he told you you guys are exclusive and he isn't seeing anyone else, then there's no reason to be on there. If he's bored he should read a book or something. People in relationships don't look on dating websites when they're bored. Nice try buddy.
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Old Yesterday, 06:03 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,408 posts, read 56,230,642 times
Reputation: 90514
Doesn't matter what he says. Action counts, and he is still looking for other options.
Email/text him a few pictures and see if he is still going on Tinder.
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Old Yesterday, 06:06 PM
 
1,040 posts, read 229,745 times
Reputation: 2109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolinne View Post
he said he is talking to and only seeing me.
I feel like he lied to me saying he doesn't talk to anyone.
Do you have solid evidence?
Are you being fair?
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Old Yesterday, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Bronx, New York
2,142 posts, read 2,584,620 times
Reputation: 3187
I would continue dating others until he's ready to commit. After 6 weeks I wouldn't expect a man to stop talking to other women when we haven't even had a conversation about being exclusive.
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