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Old 08-11-2019, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
725 posts, read 133,994 times
Reputation: 1130

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Well, should a woman breed for him and just hand over the baby to him, with no strings attached? It doesn't work that way. And it's not really ideal for a child to just have one parent.
That's not what I was suggesting.

The person implied that he shouldn't have kids because he doesn't want to be in a relationship. He can have a child with a lesbian couple or a single woman...just because he's not in a relationship doesn't mean he'd be a terrible parent.

I know someone who "couldn't figure out how relationships work" when she had her child, she was a lesbian single mum and a very good one. She later remarried but at the time she had her kid she was single. By the other's posters logic she shouldn't have had that child. I think it is prejudiced.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:29 AM
 
Location: on the wind
7,486 posts, read 3,108,448 times
Reputation: 25316
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I know a lesbian who has a parenting arrangement with a guy (who is gay), he fathered the child and they conceived through artificial insemination (aka turkey baster)

She found him on coparent-match.com, I think it was.
A relative's granddaughter wanted a child but didn't want a formal relationship or marriage either. She "chose" a close friend as the father. They are not married, don't live together, and he does not pay formal childcare that I have heard. He's very involved with both of them and they often attend family functions together, but as friends. Their little daughter has always been told who Dad is, but she has her mom's last name. Dad is around a lot, but doesn't happen to live with them.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:30 AM
 
Location: on the wind
7,486 posts, read 3,108,448 times
Reputation: 25316
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
Did he "do it" with one of them?
No.
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Old 08-12-2019, 05:56 AM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
8,974 posts, read 7,811,799 times
Reputation: 15500
Children need a mother and father.
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Old 08-12-2019, 06:10 AM
 
2,184 posts, read 1,725,533 times
Reputation: 2763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
That's not what I was suggesting.

The person implied that he shouldn't have kids because he doesn't want to be in a relationship. He can have a child with a lesbian couple or a single woman...just because he's not in a relationship doesn't mean he'd be a terrible parent.

I know someone who "couldn't figure out how relationships work" when she had her child, she was a lesbian single mum and a very good one. She later remarried but at the time she had her kid she was single. By the other's posters logic she shouldn't have had that child. I think it is prejudiced.
It was a veiled gender bash. That poster and the concurring responders probably have no problem with your lesbian friend's situation, even if all other factors were held constant.
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Old 08-12-2019, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
725 posts, read 133,994 times
Reputation: 1130
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
Children need a mother and father.
I know one that's got 2 mothers, and is doing very well.
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Old 08-13-2019, 02:37 AM
 
26,276 posts, read 28,718,038 times
Reputation: 25085
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I know one that's got 2 mothers, and is doing very well.
That's pretty much what everyone says about non-traditional relationships. The truth of the matter is we really don't know the long term effects of such relationships on children because not enough of the children of these relationships have been studied in enough quantity (of people and length of time).

I remember back in the 1970s and 80s it was (and still is, to some extent) fashionable to say divorce didn't hurt the kids. Now, a ton of research (from liberal academic types) says it's quite damaging in most cases.
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Old Today, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
725 posts, read 133,994 times
Reputation: 1130
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
That's pretty much what everyone says about non-traditional relationships. The truth of the matter is we really don't know the long term effects of such relationships on children because not enough of the children of these relationships have been studied in enough quantity (of people and length of time).

I remember back in the 1970s and 80s it was (and still is, to some extent) fashionable to say divorce didn't hurt the kids. Now, a ton of research (from liberal academic types) says it's quite damaging in most cases.
Much of the research says that children of gay people do just as well as children of straight people: https://www.apa.org/about/policy/parenting
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Old Today, 11:03 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,687 posts, read 40,248,076 times
Reputation: 42105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Much of the research says that children of gay people do just as well as children of straight people: https://www.apa.org/about/policy/parenting
"Studies" are much like opinions, they can vary. I've become very wary of studies because lots of them can be skewed to slant a way in which one wants them to slant.

Many studies are worthless, not say that one was/is, I'm just saying.
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