U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old Today, 11:45 AM
 
3 posts
Reputation: 15

Advertisements

I'm not sure if this is common or not but even though I want no commitment with a woman, I've been having this urge to have a child.

I'm 34 and I had never felt like this until now. Isn't it a bit strange since a child is a much bigger commitment than a relationship?

Of course I do not plan to act on these feelings or have a child by myself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Today, 11:47 AM
 
1,121 posts, read 242,222 times
Reputation: 2234
Women do it all the time. Men probably do too.

What about Big Brothers?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:48 AM
 
Location: South Bay Native
13,462 posts, read 22,040,671 times
Reputation: 23918
Try fostering a child. You'd be 'doing good' while you 'test drive' what parenting is like. Your fantasy of what being a father is may not line up with the reality of parenthood, and fostering isn't permanent like adoption.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,697 posts, read 42,330,771 times
Reputation: 84280
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoKing233 View Post

I've been having this urge to have a child.
Why?

What specifically are you feeling/imagining?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 11:51 AM
 
3 posts
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Why?

What specifically are you feeling/imagining?
Teaching him/her loads of stuff, proving guidance in all the aspects where my father failed, thinking about what name would I choose, ec.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,697 posts, read 42,330,771 times
Reputation: 84280
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoKing233 View Post
Teaching him/her loads of stuff, proving guidance in all the aspects where my father failed, thinking about what name would I choose, ec.
Sounds like you're particularly interested in raising a child but not necessarily parenting as a whole.

The bottom line is that you do have a biological clock too. It's pretty normal, and it varies per person. You could try the options some have presented here, although it's not the same as parenting your own child.

Men do get a version of baby fever, and it is contagious. Is anyone in your daily life (coworkers, family) having kids?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:02 PM
 
1,121 posts, read 242,222 times
Reputation: 2234
How do women do it, like Madonna or these rich movie stars? They pay big bucks for sperm from MIT or Stanford (it's basically eugenics).
A guy like the original poster could find eggs from super models (also very expensive). There's got to be a clinical service for this....

The other thing is, there are utilitarian benefits of two parents. What's the kids supposed to do while you're at work if there's no mom? Day Care? Your parents?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:10 PM
 
3 posts
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post

The other thing is, there are utilitarian benefits of two parents. What's the kids supposed to do while you're at work if there's no mom? Day Care? Your parents?
I would never deprive a child of having a mother. I'm perfectly aware none of this is feasible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:15 PM
 
13,380 posts, read 25,690,254 times
Reputation: 20710
I think a lot of men have a vague "DNA" urge, like it makes them immortal. I have heard this from lots of men, and once they've sired one kid, they seem to lose the urge. They also don't seem to like a lot of what goes into being a parent, especially of babies and young children.

I think OP wants to fix his troubled childhood by raising a child, doing whatever his father didn't. While that is certainly a positive thing, I think there's an element of re-fathering oneself, and that doesn't take into account the unique personality of the child he wants to raise. It's not all teaching them how to play guitar or throw a football (and what if the child is a girl, would that still suit the re-fathering?)

I think OP could do well with some talk therapy and then decide about being a father. Thirty-four is hardly end of the line for a healthy man. Best wishes to OP in doing a wise thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Texas
179 posts, read 48,379 times
Reputation: 361
How about becoming a scout leader? regular meetings with kids, teaching them things, helping them deal with problems
Big Brothers is also a good outlet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top