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Old Yesterday, 10:40 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
Reputation: 1163

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laychick View Post
That's what I'm hoping for while I'm stuck here.
Probably too soon but it's better to not be that trusting for now than be a fool like a couple female family members that trusted their men when they met, only to get hit.
Stuck where???
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Old Yesterday, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,146 posts, read 20,258,258 times
Reputation: 46413
You should only marry a man that you KNOW is not prone to violent reactions. If you are going to marry a guy you do not know well, then you may very well end up in a violent situation. I think anyone will say, "no I won't hit you". Though if you are marrying someone you do not know well, then there are about a million other things that will probably go wrong.
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Old Yesterday, 10:43 AM
 
813 posts, read 460,632 times
Reputation: 719
I would say 6-7/10 chance for both men and women. I myself have been a victim of an ex-girlfriend who was physically violent when angered. So you could add me to that statistic below. And as a guy, you basically cannot fight back or report the abuse to the police, otherwise the woman will flip the tables and lie to the cops saying you were the aggressor, and the guy will be arrested and thrown in jail. I've had the pleasure of seeing this happen first hand to a neighbor.


Quote:
More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the U.S. report having experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this adds up to more than 10 million women and men.

Nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetime.

Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime. (source)

In 15 states, more than 40% of all homicides of women in each state involved intimate partner violence.

85% of domestic violence victims are female, and 15% are male.

Women with disabilities have a 40% greater risk of intimate partner violence, especially severe violence, than women without disabilities.

2 in 5 gay or bisexual men will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetimes.

Approximately 63% of homeless women have experienced domestic violence in their adult lives.

28% of families were homeless because of domestic violence.

Nearly half of all women and men in the US will experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Approximately 5 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year. Children exposed are more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home, engage in teenage prostitution, and commit sexual assault crimes.

40% of The Center for Violence-Free Relationships’ domestic violence cases have children under 18 in the home.

Nationally, 50% of batterers who abuse their intimate partners also abuse their children.

Worldwide, men who were exposed to domestic violence as children are 3-4x more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence as adults.

81% of women and 35% of men who experienced rape, stalking, or physical violence by an intimate partner reported significant short- or long-term impact such as post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and injury.

4% of high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the last 12 months.

Only 1 out of 3 people who are injured during a domestic violence incident will ever receive medical care for their injuries.

Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to police.

Men who are victimized are substantially less likely than women to report their situation to police.
https://www.socialsolutions.com/blog...atistics-2018/

Last edited by rya96797; Yesterday at 10:56 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 10:44 AM
 
1,931 posts, read 553,955 times
Reputation: 2395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
If a man is feeling antagonised to the point where he wants to get physical, that is a relationship that should be finished. There's no excuse for physical violence in a relationship, except self defence when one is in danger.
You’d think that but people still stay in the abusive relationships, frog in a boiling pot I guess.
We’ve seen the abuse threads posted on here. People don’t assert their boundaries early on and the abuse builds. By the time it gets physical it’s like “how did you let it get to that point? Why didn’t you leave when you saw signs?” Then the excuses start.
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Old Yesterday, 10:45 AM
 
1,372 posts, read 1,753,007 times
Reputation: 1027
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Stuck where???
I'm stuck here in Peru.
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Old Yesterday, 10:47 AM
 
12,789 posts, read 10,050,793 times
Reputation: 16402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hemi View Post
You’d think that but people still stay in the abusive relationships, frog in a boiling pot I guess.
We’ve seen the abuse threads posted on here. People don’t assert their boundaries early on and the abuse builds. By the time it gets physical it’s like “how did you let it get to that point? Why didn’t you leave when you saw signs?” Then the excuses start.
It is NOT "excuses". I am finding myself having difficulty maintaining civility with such an ignorant post. An abuser uses the emotional tools they have learned, however manipulative, to their benefit. This includes psychological tools that get what they want.
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Old Yesterday, 10:48 AM
 
1,931 posts, read 553,955 times
Reputation: 2395
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Ofc & that's why men & women should give the relationship time to see the signs on both sides................
Of course they should. That’s how it normally works.
But in the OPs situation, she already knows she will be trapped if the relationship goes sour.
People have agendas. They want kids, security, citizenship, they stay in bad relationships while the agenda is in progress.

How do you tell if an American man is abusive over the internet, from 5000 miles away?
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Old Yesterday, 10:52 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
Reputation: 1163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hemi View Post
How do you tell if an American man is abusive over the internet, from 5000 miles away?
You don't.....that's why just about everyone has told her she doesn't know him well enough....& she has to be with him day to day in person to see the signs......

Forget babies....she needs to see if the relationship should work out 1st before she even thinks about babies...
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Old Yesterday, 10:57 AM
 
1,931 posts, read 553,955 times
Reputation: 2395
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
You don't.....that's why just about everyone has told her she doesn't know him well enough....& she has to be with him day to day in person to see the signs......

Forget babies....she needs to see if the relationship should work out 1st before she even thinks about babies...
You think she’ll adjust the plan to follow the advise?
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Old Yesterday, 10:59 AM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,320 posts, read 307,440 times
Reputation: 1163
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry Hemi View Post
You think she’ll adjust the plan to follow the advise?
Let's hope so.......she's here asking all the way from Peru.............
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