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Old Yesterday, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
705 posts, read 123,841 times
Reputation: 1120

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amogersum, if you are not already, maybe it's time to get some therapy to help you to process the loss of this relationship and the compulsive behaviours e.g. checking out his pictures constantly.

 
Old Yesterday, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,374 posts, read 1,622,849 times
Reputation: 7998
Quote:
Originally Posted by amogersum View Post
My ex-
Importantly, I'm not interested in opinions or a lecture about my behavior. I haven't contacted my ex a single time since the restraining order. I only look at his pictures to remind myself of what we had and to somehow feel close to him again. My interaction with him will never go beyond simply looking at his pictures.
.
Of course you're not interested, even though you know your behavior is unhealthy. Looking at his pictures 50 to 60 times in the past month means you are looking at them at least twice a day. I'm not surprised he has a RO against you, because you sound obsessed with him, and undoubtedly gave off very strong control freak vibes during the relationship.

Get over it, and move on. Get a life of your own that doesn't center around him. Stop looking for photos or any other mention of him, either online or in other forms of social media. You might want to book a few sessions with a therapist who can help you to do that. And stay the hell away from him so he doesn't have to have that RO enforced against you. It's very easy to step over that line, that's why you need to take steps to stop it from going that way. Google "No Contact" and FOLLOW that concept 100%.
 
Old Yesterday, 10:31 PM
 
12 posts, read 911 times
Reputation: 13
Apparently, the dozens of professional psychologists chiming in to this conversation with their clinical advice lack the reading comprehension skills to gather that I ALREADY STOPPED LOOKING AT THE PICTURES.

I'll write that again for the real bright stars taking pot-shots at a situation they know almost nothing about: ONCE I FOUND OUT THAT IT MIGHT, POSSIBLY, PERCHANCE BE AN ISSUE, I NEVER WENT TO THE WEBSITE AGAIN.

Is anyone here still not clear on that? If not, just let me know, and I'll write the sentence in all-caps again, to help you get it.

I have zero contact with this person, and I've looked at his pictures on his company website a grand total of zero times, since learning of a possible problem with it.

But thank you for your unsolicited advice to do EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE ALREADY DONE.

You're a real credit to advice giving.
 
Old Yesterday, 10:33 PM
 
12 posts, read 911 times
Reputation: 13
If anyone out there can speak to the likelihood that a corporate site admin regularly checks to see how many hits specific pages on a particular website gets, I'd appreciate the insight.

Is it common for site admin's to monitor that?
 
Old Yesterday, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,739 posts, read 42,365,139 times
Reputation: 84345
Quote:
Originally Posted by amogersum View Post
If anyone out there can speak to the likelihood that a corporate site admin regularly checks to see how many hits specific pages on a particular website gets, I'd appreciate the insight.

Is it common for site admin's to monitor that?
Yes.

For most companies, noticing an uptick would be more likely than monitoring typical page views.
 
Old Yesterday, 11:03 PM
 
4,979 posts, read 1,531,352 times
Reputation: 6935
Quote:
Originally Posted by amogersum View Post
Apparently, the dozens of professional psychologists chiming in to this conversation with their clinical advice lack the reading comprehension skills to gather that I ALREADY STOPPED LOOKING AT THE PICTURES.

I'll write that again for the real bright stars taking pot-shots at a situation they know almost nothing about: ONCE I FOUND OUT THAT IT MIGHT, POSSIBLY, PERCHANCE BE AN ISSUE, I NEVER WENT TO THE WEBSITE AGAIN.

Is anyone here still not clear on that? If not, just let me know, and I'll write the sentence in all-caps again, to help you get it.

I have zero contact with this person, and I've looked at his pictures on his company website a grand total of zero times, since learning of a possible problem with it.

But thank you for your unsolicited advice to do EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE ALREADY DONE.

You're a real credit to advice giving.

You stopped looking at the pictures (yesterday) because you had no other choice. The pictures were gone.


You never went to the website again (since yesterday) because you had no reason to go back. The pictures were gone.


Quote:
Originally Posted by amogersum View Post
Recently, by Googling his name, I've found that there are pictures of him on his company's website. I've gone to the site dozens of times, just to look at his pictures, (I miss him more than I could ever describe), because I don't know a whole lot about computers, and I've thought that my visiting the website was totally anonymous. But yesterday, I went to the site and found that all of his pictures, his bio, and all information about him was removed from the site.
 
Old Yesterday, 11:24 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
7,039 posts, read 3,922,736 times
Reputation: 16854
Quote:
Originally Posted by amogersum View Post
My ex-boyfriend has a restraining order against me, because I went to his home and his workplace after he broke up with me. (I wanted to talk, get closure, maybe beg him to take me back, etc). I am in no way, shape or form a violent person. I have no desire to harm him in any way, or even continue to annoy him. I was actually shocked that he applied for a restraining order. I never would have guessed that he was so adamant about never talking to me again.

Recently, by Googling his name, I've found that there are pictures of him on his company's website. I've gone to the site dozens of times, just to look at his pictures, (I miss him more than I could ever describe), because I don't know a whole lot about computers, and I've thought that my visiting the website was totally anonymous. But yesterday, I went to the site and found that all of his pictures, his bio, and all information about him was removed from the site. I know through a mutual friend that he still works there and has no plans of leaving, so I don't know why he would have his presence removed from his company website.

So my question is this: do the people who run his employer's website have some way of seeing that I've been visiting his bio and looking at his pictures? I've probably looked at his pic's 50 or 60 times in the last month; does that somehow register as strange to the website or something? If so, could it be that he communicated with his employer about the restraining order and asked them to remove his pictures and info from their site, in an attempt to keep me from seeing his pictures?

Importantly, I'm not interested in opinions or a lecture about my behavior. I haven't contacted my ex a single time since the restraining order. I only look at his pictures to remind myself of what we had and to somehow feel close to him again. My interaction with him will never go beyond simply looking at his pictures.

But are the people who own the website somehow seeing my repeated visits? Why else would they remove his info? It's a large company, made up of very highly educated doctors and medical professionals; so I assume that the people in charge of their website are top-notch at what they do.

Thanks for any expertise you can offer here.
lol
 
Old Yesterday, 11:45 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,374 posts, read 1,622,849 times
Reputation: 7998
Quote:
Originally Posted by amogersum View Post
If anyone out there can speak to the likelihood that a corporate site admin regularly checks to see how many hits specific pages on a particular website gets, I'd appreciate the insight.

Is it common for site admin's to monitor that?
If you've stopped looking at the company site (and other social media where this guy appears) and are truly ready to let go of this man for good, why are you still worried about his company website being able to see how many times you've viewed his site content before it was removed? Or are you going to be checking back periodically to see if they put his photos back up?

Truly letting go means letting go of everything surrounding the relationship, including the answer to your questions here.

Quote:
I have zero contact with this person, and I've looked at his pictures on his company website a grand total of zero times, since learning of a possible problem with it.


Don't try to kid a kidder, sweetie. I've been where you are sitting, minus the restraining order, and thankfully I gave it up for more meaningful pursuits that added positivity to my life rather than wasted my valuable time.

The reason you stopped looking at the pictures is because they are no longer available for you to look at. If they were still publicly viewable, you'd still be looking, or else downloading them now that you think you might be found out.

And BTW, your little outburst in post #33 speaks volumes as to why you are an ex-gf with an active RO against her.

Last edited by ContraPagan; Today at 12:00 AM..
 
Old Today, 01:20 AM
 
12 posts, read 911 times
Reputation: 13
Oh.
My.
God.

I thought I was crazy.

Do any of you have hobbies?

Jesus Christ.
 
Old Today, 01:29 AM
 
12 posts, read 911 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan View Post
If you've stopped looking at the company site (and other social media where this guy appears) and are truly ready to let go of this man for good, why are you still worried about his company website being able to see how many times you've viewed his site content before it was removed? Or are you going to be checking back periodically to see if they put his photos back up?

Truly letting go means letting go of everything surrounding the relationship, including the answer to your questions here.





Don't try to kid a kidder, sweetie. I've been where you are sitting, minus the restraining order, and thankfully I gave it up for more meaningful pursuits that added positivity to my life rather than wasted my valuable time.

The reason you stopped looking at the pictures is because they are no longer available for you to look at. If they were still publicly viewable, you'd still be looking, or else downloading them now that you think you might be found out.

And BTW, your little outburst in post #33 speaks volumes as to why you are an ex-gf with an active RO against her.
Hilarious, because I'm actually a freshman psychology student, conducting a social experiment for an assignment. I have no recent ex's, and I've never had a restraining order taken out against me. Your pretending to know everything about a fictional character in a story that isn't even true is an absolute gold mine and says so much about human ego. I'll definitely be adding you in to my report.

Thanks for being you. ��
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