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Old 08-13-2019, 10:09 AM
 
161 posts, read 29,018 times
Reputation: 69

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Quote:
Originally Posted by blistex649 View Post
Yup.. she's exhibiting signs of obsessive controlling behavior and possibly mental illness. I think you should not be someone long-term. Plus, she wants to settle down asap for marriage. Stop wasting her time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
I agree that from what is posted here, it seems as though your GF is being a jerk. That said, there are some other details that might change my opinion. Was the expectation that she would be your full-time caregiver? Would she be commuting to/from work/school while caring for you? If so, then maybe it does make more sense to stay at her place.

But if she dumped you over wanting to go home? Sounds like you had other issues going into this, maybe stemming to the lack of marriage, commitment, etc.

I'm sorry, and I hope you heal and feel better soon!
I actually went to look for engagement rings and was planning on moving to NJ as my commitment to her.
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:13 AM
 
2,377 posts, read 4,524,921 times
Reputation: 4219
You lost me at “I asked my girlfriend if I can heal in my apartment.” Then went on to give her a lengthy explanation to try to convince her to let you do that? Then you appeased her when it was you that was ill? Wow.

She sounds like a real winner.
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:20 AM
 
2,377 posts, read 4,524,921 times
Reputation: 4219
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
Was the expectation that she would be your full-time caregiver? Would she be commuting to/from work/school while caring for you? If so, then maybe it does make more sense to stay at her place.

But if she dumped you over wanting to go home? Sounds like you had other issues going into this, maybe stemming to the lack of marriage, commitment, etc.

I'm sorry, and I hope you heal and feel better soon!
I would think that a two year relationship is serious enough that one partner should be there for the other if one is ill. If the person who has a mass and surgery and thus, enough to deal with, has to plead his case on where to spend his recovery and fear a negative response, that makes me very sad.

The comfort of the person who is ill should be priority number one and if she has to commute after work to get there, then that is what you do, if it's a true relationship. It's not about HER comfort and ease, it's about HIS recovery from a serious health issue.
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:33 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,591 posts, read 56,430,329 times
Reputation: 90857
How long is the healing process expected to be?
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:44 AM
 
13,081 posts, read 10,118,734 times
Reputation: 16598
Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach View Post
You lost me at “I asked my girlfriend if I can heal in my apartment.” Then went on to give her a lengthy explanation to try to convince her to let you do that? Then you appeased her when it was you that was ill? Wow.

She sounds like a real winner.
To be fair, so does he.
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:44 AM
 
161 posts, read 29,018 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
How long is the healing process expected to be?
2 to 3 weeks.
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Old 08-13-2019, 10:59 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,298 posts, read 71,525,630 times
Reputation: 77569
I don't understand how your choice of convalescence location has anything to do with her safety. Did anyone say she had to visit you, while you recover? Why can't she let your family and friends, whoever, attend to you and they see fit, and you can relocate to her place once you've recovered?

There seems to be a big piece missing from this story, unless I missed something. It makes no sense for you to live out-of-state, away from your health team, just because she's not comfortable in your neighborhood. No one asked her to venture into the Bronx during your recovery, did they? More info needed, OP. And--how long would your recovery take? How much "time out" from the relationship are we talking?
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Old 08-13-2019, 11:04 AM
 
771 posts, read 264,750 times
Reputation: 2433
Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach View Post
I would think that a two year relationship is serious enough that one partner should be there for the other if one is ill. If the person who has a mass and surgery and thus, enough to deal with, has to plead his case on where to spend his recovery and fear a negative response, that makes me very sad.

The comfort of the person who is ill should be priority number one and if she has to commute after work to get there, then that is what you do, if it's a true relationship. It's not about HER comfort and ease, it's about HIS recovery from a serious health issue.
I agree. But I'm trying to figure out why this would be a deal-breaker for her. A phobia of the Bronx? Ok, anxiety is very real, but that by itself doesn't make any sense to me for her to dump her healing boyfriend of 2 years. Like, that's a B* move and she knows it. Even a not nice person would wait for him to heal and then dump him, for the optics if nothing more.
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Old 08-13-2019, 11:20 AM
 
161 posts, read 29,018 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I don't understand how your choice of convalescence location has anything to do with her safety. Did anyone say she had to visit you, while you recover? Why can't she let your family and friends, whoever, attend to you and they see fit, and you can relocate to her place once you've recovered?

There seems to be a big piece missing from this story, unless I missed something. It makes no sense for you to live out-of-state, away from your health team, just because she's not comfortable in your neighborhood. No one asked her to venture into the Bronx during your recovery, did they? More info needed, OP. And--how long would your recovery take? How much "time out" from the relationship are we talking?
Of course thier is a big piece of the story missing. Like a court room. You need two sides of a story in order to paint the picture of what is really going on. My recovery is about 2 to 3 weeks.
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Old 08-13-2019, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
757 posts, read 151,513 times
Reputation: 1206
I don't understand why she would dump you over this. It's controlling behaviour. You should recover where you feel comfortable and she should be able to accept that. I also thought the statement "I asked my girlfriend if I can heal in my apartment" was revealing. You shouldn't be asking her if it's OK to convalesce where you want to...she should be on board with what is best for you at this time. If she's not, I'm guessing there are bigger problems in the relationship that she's dumping you over. Either that or she's controlling and you're better off out of it.
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