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Old 08-15-2019, 12:41 PM
 
8,359 posts, read 6,114,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay100 View Post
There is this very attractive mature woman at my health club that I do not understand. I see her maybe 2 or 3x per week in the pool area and we know each other casually. Sometimes she will sit very close to me in the hot tub--a few times she has even sat on my lap but most times she will just hang out very close to me. Usually, we only say hi and bi to each other but we have had deeper discussions before (we've talked about our families, relationships, and personal stuff). Other times, however, she will just be very cool toward me and chat with other people. Whenever I walk by, she will usually check me out--I've also caught her checking me out but, I hate to embarrass her, so I just act like I do not notice. She also parks her car near mine. She says she has a boyfriend--that I've never seen. I have several part time girlfriends (to be honest).



My question is, what could she be thinking?
My advice, ask her what she is thinking. I don't know how the interaction is between you two, but if she is so much as sitting on your lap...(I'm not sure what that is about)


And she says she has a boyfriend...I'd be cautious about that because that typically is trouble.

Sounds like a mess to me. It might not be, but it sounds like it. I wouldn't know how to handle that.

And I could probably only handle one girlfriend, "part time" or otherwise.

 
Old 08-15-2019, 12:43 PM
 
8,359 posts, read 6,114,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
A few times, too, to a total stranger, Lol. I find it hard to believe
I don't...
 
Old 08-15-2019, 12:47 PM
 
8,359 posts, read 6,114,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay100 View Post
Yes seems that way but she's difficult to figure out. She did run her fingers through my hair a couple of times. I have a feeling she just does not have the nerve to ask me out on a date. I won't ask her out until she stops playing it cool.
I don't know. Sitting on your lap and running her fingers through your hair and putting her arm around you is definitely not "playing it cool". I mean, what more do you need?
 
Old 08-15-2019, 12:51 PM
 
8,359 posts, read 6,114,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Yeah, she’s the one who doesn’t have the nerve, right?

So you say she’s difficult to figure out, and you won’t “ask her out until she stops playing it cool” hey? Well, given what you’ve described as her behavior, what would not playing it cool even look like? She must sit on your lap, but be naked? She can put her arm around you and run her fingers through your hair, but be naked? Only then she would be seen as not “playing it cool”? Or I suspect even that wouldn’t be enough?

Do you mean the next time you catch her “checking you out” she should also say something like: “I am interested in sexual intercourse in the parking lot at 3pm with you?” Or would that not be clear enough, because she didn’t specify whose car?

If you ever get up the nerve to ask her out, even though she has a boyfriend () definitely do not expect loyalty from this cat in heat fantasy girl...
I wonder that too. I have women coming on to me in obvious ways, but compared to what OP is describing, my interactions with women are rather "prudish". and women get pretty um...racy?... with me.
 
Old 08-15-2019, 12:54 PM
 
8,359 posts, read 6,114,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Can you imagine with those other part-time girlfriends must’ve gone through to get his attention, if he thinks this one is “playing it cool”??
LOL!!! I'm imagining right now. They must be some forward women.
 
Old 08-15-2019, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,183 posts, read 7,468,124 times
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What the actual hell?

OP, do you WANT to have sex with her?

I echo others who want to know what on earth it looks like for someone to "subtly" sit on your lap. In or out of a hot tub.

You have several part time girlfriends, who don't know about each other. It is "more subtle" than poly (is it about as subtle as a chick on your lap in a hot tub?)...yeah, you are cheating on several women, or else--I can only hope--you're just telling each of them that you are not exclusive. My money is on the former, though.

Given you have several part time girlfriends, how are you confused by the many strong signals of sexual interest this woman is...throwing into your lap? In the hot tub?

Given you have several part time girlfriends that I expect you are hiding knowledge of from one another, why do you care if she's got a boyfriend? Maybe she's targeting you for a good time because she figures you won't care and can't judge her since you're kinda playing the field yourself, there?

Or maybe she just thinks it's fun to mess with you. But at this point, either you decide you don't wanna deal with it and tell her to stop, or you go along and play the game for fun and prizes, or you flat out ask her if she's Mod cut.. Your call, slick. Make sure to wrap your package though. Hate to think of all those part time girlfriends getting a nasty surprise.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 12:09 AM.. Reason: Inappropriate language.
 
Old 08-15-2019, 02:06 PM
 
761 posts, read 259,548 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
How can someone sit on someone's lap in a hot tub in a subtle way?

You have much bigger problems than working out what this all means if you have several girlfriends who don't know about each other.
If all the "girlfriends" know you're not exclusive, I'm not gonna judge.

But I am also perplexed about how anyone can sit on your lap in a hot tub (MULTIPLE times no less!) in a subtle way.
 
Old 08-15-2019, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,183 posts, read 7,468,124 times
Reputation: 21890
I want to see some like...SNL type comedians do a sketch showing us what it looks like for a woman to sit on a man's lap in a hot tub..."subtly."

Ooo...unless... Is OP trying to tell us she was actually being "subtle" about doing something else, WHILE sitting on his lap, in the public hot tub?

(Why does this feel like a game of Clue all of a sudden? "It was Miss Scarlet! In the hot tub! With the candlestick!" *ahem*)
 
Old 08-16-2019, 05:33 AM
 
2,875 posts, read 4,274,877 times
Reputation: 2185
Got it guys. Appreciate the feedback. I saw her yesterday and she was flirting back with me. I'll ask her out on a date sometime soon.
 
Old 08-16-2019, 07:47 AM
 
110 posts, read 594,924 times
Reputation: 90
It's pretty funny that you have several "part time girlfriends" and you needed to come here to ask us what to do.
I think she wants you to tap. dat. ... quite frankly, Jay100.
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