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Old Yesterday, 11:37 AM
 
2 posts, read 242 times
Reputation: 20

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Hey guys long story short. I was very tight with a group of coworkers. My new girlfriend (fairly new to the shift-met her at the job 3 months ago) doesnít know anyone that well. We have sort of a tight knit group of friends on the shift. One of them planned a cottage trip this weekend, that I was invited to.. my girlfriend was NOT invited, i invited her myself. I had a fight with one of the guys going, because heís texting my girlfriend saying messed up things about me.. that Iím a player, that Iím crazy. This guy was my best friend so I was shocked to find out. I confronted him and we had to be separated, I was ready to punch his face in. Now, Iím UNinvited from the cottage to ďavoid tensionĒ.

My girlfriend still wants to go.. I canít help but feel betrayed about this? She didnít defend me when he was talking sh*t about me. and she doesnít even know these people. I told her how upset I was and we had an argument about it. When everything blew over, I felt controlling and kind of ****ty, so I told her I want her to have fun and I donít wanna be that guy.. she considered my opinion for a sec, but she is still going? Am I overreacting?

Whatís most upsetting is I know how toxic this guy is. While I donít think heíll make a pass at her, Iím not comfortable with my gf hanging around him. Even though 12 people are going, itís an overnight thing. Thoughts?
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Old Yesterday, 11:55 AM
 
Location: California
1,485 posts, read 437,313 times
Reputation: 2624
I think he’s going to make a pass at her and he’s interested in her so that’s why he was texting her crappy messages about you. It also seems odd that she still wants to go even though she doesn’t know any of these people. Seems she is intrigued with this other guy and wants to get to know him, otherwise in view of the incident that just occurred surrounding this trip of which you are now uninvited, why would she want to continue to go. I’d be upset and it’s not very nice of her. Unfortunately you can’t control her and come off as a creep, so it’s kind of a no win situation. I don’t know what the future holds for this relationship with her which is itself rather new.
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Old Yesterday, 11:59 AM
 
6,550 posts, read 3,514,125 times
Reputation: 10369
Based on your story, quite odd and disconcerting that she still wants to go to this party. Personally I would of asked her why she wanted to go after what happened, and if I wasn't satisfied with the answer I'd just tell her guess we weren't meant to be and I'd move on.
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Old Yesterday, 12:06 PM
Status: "Now I know how Joan of Arc felt ..." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Boulder, CO
528 posts, read 163,977 times
Reputation: 996
She'll come back from her weekend jaunt with a new boyfriend, and you'll be the odd man out at future social engagements, at the water cooler, etc.


Don't date women at work, my friend. Just Ö don't.
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Old Yesterday, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Herndon, VA
2,106 posts, read 2,146,681 times
Reputation: 7502
As Sam said the lesson here is don't date at work. Sounds like she did you a favor anyway if she's up to going still. Cut your losses and consider it a learning experience.
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Old Yesterday, 01:49 PM
 
1,231 posts, read 1,366,759 times
Reputation: 1935
It appears that she doesn't like you as much as you like her. I don't understand why she would want to go without you when she wasn't invited by anyone else in the group. One other comment; a man controls his temper and never over reacts to put himself in a position to be separated to avoid a bigger confrontation.
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Old Yesterday, 02:15 PM
 
12,391 posts, read 13,683,704 times
Reputation: 14440
I think more was said about you than you know.

He is going for her and that’s why she is going and you are not.
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Old Yesterday, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,800 posts, read 42,416,564 times
Reputation: 84511
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
He is going for her and thatís why she is going and you are not.
Yeah, she sounds like an opportunist, OP, and she sees this weekend as an opportunity.

You aren't overreacting. But at least now you know the friend group isn't as tight as you thought.
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Old Yesterday, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,581 posts, read 7,894,709 times
Reputation: 16131
I think she's now, in her mind, your ex-GF or soon will be your ex-GF.
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Old Yesterday, 05:32 PM
Status: "Make sure you include me in your manifesto" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,322 posts, read 3,254,706 times
Reputation: 14906
Break up with her before the trip so she can sleep with this guy guilt free. Do your part to help save her soul. Then look for a new job, because you're going to be the odd man out from now on. At the new job, don't date anyone.
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