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Old Yesterday, 02:13 PM
 
2 posts, read 400 times
Reputation: 10

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My partner and I have been together for 5 years. Things have always been good, we respect each other's space and preferences and support each other all the time.

When she got pregnant, even though it was a planned pregnancy and I was thrilled, I immediately started thinking about getting a paternity test done once the child was born. I can't exactly figure out why that need arised but we've all heard so many stories about men finding out their children't weren't theirs a number of years down the road.

Our son was born 2 months ago and I had a paternity test done afterwards. The results came back positive and it was a relief to me in the sense that I was done with these doubts.

The thing is that the fact I've kept this a secret from her keeps haunting me from time to time. It'll pop up in mind out of the blue and sometimes I don't know how to put these thoughts away.

 
Old Yesterday, 02:15 PM
 
759 posts, read 255,530 times
Reputation: 2360
Swallow this secret, and figure out the trust issues in your relationship.
 
Old Yesterday, 02:26 PM
 
2 posts, read 400 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
Swallow this secret, and figure out the trust issues in your relationship.
I'm just afraid I won't be able to keep this secret forever and it will slip out of my mouth during an argument or something like that.
 
Old Yesterday, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,795 posts, read 42,416,564 times
Reputation: 84480
Quote:
Originally Posted by HenryJKO View Post

... we've all heard so many stories about men finding out their children't weren't theirs a number of years down the road.
I haven't heard many stories like that, in real life.


Quote:
Originally Posted by HenryJKO View Post
I'm just afraid I won't be able to keep this secret forever and it will slip out of my mouth during an argument or something like that.
It sounds like the problem you need help with is compulsive behavior.

If you can't trust your partner to the point that you DNA tested your child without her knowledge and you can't control the words that might come out of your mouth, you need help.

Secrets breed sickness. Deal with it now.
 
Old Yesterday, 04:32 PM
 
95 posts, read 11,706 times
Reputation: 77
If that is what it takes for you to be sure and to give yourself completely to your son, it is fine and good for you you did it. Now who have no doubts on your mind otherwise that might have affected your relationship with your son in the long run. But why felt you need to do the test? Was there something that happened? What brought the doubts?
 
Old Yesterday, 05:01 PM
 
2,189 posts, read 1,726,794 times
Reputation: 2771
Some things are best taken to grave.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:22 PM
 
661 posts, read 341,819 times
Reputation: 483
Your SO would probably feel very insulted if she knew.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Fairfax, VA
854 posts, read 705,944 times
Reputation: 996
Personally, I think paternity testing should be mandatory for all births.
 
Old Yesterday, 08:19 PM
 
5,387 posts, read 2,867,985 times
Reputation: 9851
I would never have done it in secret but I would have done it in utero..
 
Old Yesterday, 08:56 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,222 posts, read 71,393,959 times
Reputation: 77473
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Your SO would probably feel very insulted if she knew.
Insulted? I think she could well feel crushed! She probably wouldn't be able to get her mind around it, if she'd devoted to the OP, and thinks they have a great relationship.

OP, this seems to be weighing on your mind, so I recommend you get counseling to resolve this with yourself.
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