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Old 08-24-2019, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA/Washington, DC
23,792 posts, read 33,732,172 times
Reputation: 32671

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
This is such a very interesting thread.

I do wonder why posters who have never been in love, ever, hang out consistently on the Relationships thread. Maybe a desire to be in love? I really don't know.

For me, twice, I have been deeply in love. First time with a long term boyfriend, and then I met my current husband of 34 years.
Maybe those of us who have had luck in love may want to have the experience and insight of others to assist us in finding love? Just a thought.

Same reason that religious people go to services frequently or professionals go to seminars. Knowing more helps you. I think that would be obvious.
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Old 08-24-2019, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,333 posts, read 3,948,661 times
Reputation: 20814
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Maybe those of us who have had luck in love may want to have the experience and insight of others to assist us in finding love? Just a thought. :
From what I've seen, many posters on the Relationships threads claim they love being single, that it's the greatest thing. So it does seem strange they post in Relationships quite often. If I loved being single, the last thing I'd want to do is talk about relationships or get advice about them. I'd be out having all that fun they talk about. You know, traveling to all those exotic locales, night clubs, hanging out with buddies, career stuff....
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Old 08-24-2019, 05:26 PM
 
747 posts, read 355,224 times
Reputation: 558
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
From what I've seen, many posters on the Relationships threads claim they love being single, that it's the greatest thing. So it does seem strange they post in Relationships quite often. If I loved being single, the last thing I'd want to do is talk about relationships or get advice about them. I'd be out having all that fun they talk about. You know, traveling to all those exotic locales, night clubs, hanging out with buddies, career stuff....

I love being single now because its more stress free than all the times I was coupled up. Not that I don't like the concept of a relationship, if the right one were to come around. I am open to the idea, but I'm not in a state of desperation wanting to latch on to the first able bodied man to cross my path. I can skate along contentedly as I am now for the rest of my life. A relationship, the right one, would just be icing on the cake. I will take being single over being trapped in the wrong relationship, all day, though.
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Old 08-24-2019, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
9,056 posts, read 7,868,570 times
Reputation: 15644
Huck is OK, but I have to disagree. I will agree that most marry for lust, for the others money or sex. But some actually do marry out of a giving sacrificial love for their mate. My wife and my marriage has been like that. By no means perfect, but pretty good, and still going strong after 43 yrs.
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Old 08-24-2019, 07:23 PM
 
747 posts, read 355,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
Huck is OK, but I have to disagree. I will agree that most marry for lust, for the others money or sex. But some actually do marry out of a giving sacrificial love for their mate. My wife and my marriage has been like that. By no means perfect, but pretty good, and still going strong after 43 yrs.

Does that mean you are the carer for your wife, or vice versa?
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Old 08-24-2019, 07:45 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,780 posts, read 5,003,054 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Not that I don't like the concept of a relationship, if the right one were to come around. I am open to the idea, but I'm not in a state of desperation wanting to latch on to the first able bodied man to cross my path. I can skate along contentedly as I am now for the rest of my life. A relationship, the right one, would just be icing on the cake. I will take being single over being trapped in the wrong relationship, all day, though.
This is pretty much how I feel too.

I think that ClaraC is conflating never having been in love with not wanting a relationship at all. However the two are VERY different. I believe people with that mindset think that love is something that happens to everyone by a certain time but that's not the case. While it may be the rule (kind of since it's such a personal experience), there are MANY exceptions because it all depends on what one perceives as love. Sometimes people never experience it at all.

I think it's very important to have a balanced view of relationships between human beings. A good idea of the pros and the cons, just like with everything else. It's important to weigh it, especially depending on the circumstances. I believe many societies swing too far in the direction of idealization, to the point where we view those who don't share same views/have similar experiences as a failure or someone to pity. We hold it high on a pedestal.

I think we can all agree that love is a wonderful thing when it's "right" but how often is it "right" realistically speaking? It's not realistic to expect everyone to experience it nor is it logical. It definitely isn't something to pity someone for. It's okay not to experience EVERYTHING life has to offer, as there is always a trade off of some kind. It's fine to have it as goal when there is someone you have feelings for, but worrying about it otherwise is unnecessary and silly. I'm going off on a tangent but I think I made my point.
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Old 08-24-2019, 07:53 PM
 
231 posts, read 47,736 times
Reputation: 467
Twice! The first one is down stairs sleeping on the couch and the second one is asleep in her crib. Perfect time for video games and me time
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Old 08-24-2019, 08:09 PM
 
2,224 posts, read 1,744,419 times
Reputation: 2846
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
From what I've seen, many posters on the Relationships threads claim they love being single, that it's the greatest thing. So it does seem strange they post in Relationships quite often. If I loved being single, the last thing I'd want to do is talk about relationships or get advice about them. I'd be out having all that fun they talk about. You know, traveling to all those exotic locales, night clubs, hanging out with buddies, career stuff....
Damn. That made hell of a lot of sense. /no sarcasm
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Old 08-25-2019, 04:03 AM
 
Location: California
30,890 posts, read 33,781,858 times
Reputation: 26383
Twice. Once in college that was ruined by bad timing and Catholic guilt, and once with the guy I was married to for 30+ yrs. It could happen again, you never know.
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Old 08-25-2019, 09:00 AM
 
4,371 posts, read 3,277,366 times
Reputation: 7432
Four times.


1. At 18. It was the summer before we started college. We were each other's first love and fell head over heels in love. It was intense and wonderful. But attending different colleges made it difficult to see one another. After a year and a half, he decided he did not want a long-distance relationship, and ended it. I was devastated.

2. At 21. We loved each other, but were too young and opinionated. He never wanted to get married, which really strained the relationship because marriage was important to me. I broke up with him.

3. In my late 20s. We were headed toward marriage. But we had major religious differences, plus I started to realize that he was narcissistic and very hurtful. It became obvious that that it was time to end the relationship.

4. At 33. We hit it off right away, and love grew as we got to know one another. I married him.
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