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Old Today, 12:15 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
After understanding my point, you’ve now jumped from ‘the higher earner is controlling’ and the woman is forced to ‘make up for it’ - all the way to stating the man (or higher earner) is the victim (and implied he is being used for his money).

Your assessment is equivalent to armchair quarterbacking - all relationships are different; and unless you are actually in it (and/or know all the details personally), you simply can’t make the call as to what is happening or paint all relationships with the same brush (in your case with two opposite colors) based on one person earning significantly more money than the other.
Its a thought exercise. If my posts read as dogmatic its just tone not coming through. I enjoy debate, playing devils advocate sometimes.
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Old Today, 12:20 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
These men would say it's a different reason they want foreign wives. But some of these foreign brides are tough as nails. you'd be surprised.
Im sure they are, Im not saying they arent. I spent time in Eastern Europe as I said in previous posts, big scene there of American/foreign men going there looking for wives. The exploitation can go either direction but Id say in general its unhealthy on both sides.

Imo there is often something creepy about those men. Any man who engages in sex tourism. Its a predatory mindset.

"Mail order brides" I consider a form of sex tourism though love and marriage is the goal, its just more a long con version of it
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Old Today, 12:23 PM
 
12,982 posts, read 10,096,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Im sure they are, Im not saying they arent. I spent time in Eastern Europe as I said in previous posts, big scene there of American/foreign men going there looking for wives. The exploitation can go either direction but Id say in general its unhealthy on both sides.

Imo there is often something creepy about those men. Any man who engages in sex tourism. Its a predatory mindset.

Foreign brides I consider a form of sex tourism though love and marriage is the goal, its just more a long con version of it
Love as a goal, even within marriage -- or even particularly within marriage - is a pretty phenomenon historically speaking.
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Old Today, 12:26 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Love as a goal, even within marriage -- or even particularly within marriage - is a pretty phenomenon historically speaking.
Not everyone has a healthy perspective on how love should look.
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Old Today, 12:27 PM
 
7,793 posts, read 3,054,712 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Love as a goal, even within marriage -- or even particularly within marriage - is a pretty phenomenon historically speaking.
Correct, and that sentiment is proven when asking the one with less money and better looking if they would support the other, and their answer is “no”.

ETA: Not giving an Opinion on “good or bad” just the facts. “Challenging” conversations come about when one isn’t honest.
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Old Today, 12:39 PM
 
12,982 posts, read 10,096,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Not everyone has a healthy perspective on how love should look.
Which has exactly nothing to do with my post.

If I were a young person looking for a better life, I may well use my marriageability to make good. To some poor, anti-social schlepp.
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Old Today, 12:43 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Which has exactly nothing to do with my post.

If I were a young person looking for a better life, I may well use my marriageability to make good. To some poor, anti-social schlepp.
I saw something like that happen. A colleague of mine from CA married a 21 year old Eastern European girl and brought her home to CA. She divorced him after she got her green card. He thought it was a real commitment/love but apparently it was not.

He returned to Eastern Europe, this time met someone same age and earning power. They had a child, no marriage, he stayed in Esstern Europe this time.

The first time he set himself up to be used and he was.
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Old Today, 12:43 PM
 
1,086 posts, read 374,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
Who knows if it is the right life with the right person. The OP hasn’t returned to this thread or given us enough information to determine if it is the right life with the right person. All we know right now is that it makes her uncomfortable. She hasn’t told us her income vs. his income or discussed his ability to pay. If she is a high-earning professional or earns roughly what he makes, she might not feel comfortable with this sort of behavior. I just can’t imagine a situation where you are say, a high-paid physician or banker dating a man who insists on paying for you all the time. That really makes no sense.
I wasn't speaking specifically about the OP. I was speaking about my situation.

I know and have known lots of highly paid women who could care less if their husband or boyfriend pays for them. They don't have a 50/50 mentality. They contribute to the relationship in other ways.
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Old Today, 12:49 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,419 posts, read 564,412 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Im sure they are, Im not saying they arent. I spent time in Eastern Europe as I said in previous posts, big scene there of American/foreign men going there looking for wives. The exploitation can go either direction but Id say in general its unhealthy on both sides.

Imo there is often something creepy about those men. Any man who engages in sex tourism. Its a predatory mindset.

"Mail order brides" I consider a form of sex tourism though love and marriage is the goal, its just more a long con version of it
There is a huge difference between one person making significantly more money than the other in a relationship vs. ‘mail order brides’. It’s not even in the same ballpark.
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Old Today, 12:49 PM
 
12,982 posts, read 10,096,072 times
Reputation: 16533
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I saw something like that happen. A colleague of mine from CA married a 21 year old Eastern European girl and brought her home to CA. She divorced him after she got her green card. He thought it was a real commitment/love but apparently it was not.

He returned to Eastern Europe, this time met someone same age and earning power. They had a child, no marriage, he stayed in Esstern Europe this time.

The first time he set himself up to be used and he was.
I lived in Los Angeles as a very young woman. A Mexican guy there was trying to woo me. I'm like, cool, let's date. He Could Not Understand why I did not just fall over to marry him ... he nubbed me so much!! Um. No.
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