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Old Today, 12:51 PM
 
7,793 posts, read 3,054,712 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaGWS View Post
I wasn't speaking specifically about the OP. I was speaking about my situation.

I know and have known lots of highly paid women who could care less if their husband or boyfriend pays for them. They don't have a 50/50 mentality. They contribute to the relationship in other ways.
Exactly. They may be paying for something they would not be able to feel entitled to, if they were a minimum wage worker though. It’s fine to say: “well emotionally we contribute the same.” Sure, so then wealthy person ends up with somebody who is very emotionally supportive, and kind and understanding.

Is it just a coincidence that they’re also attractive above average? There are plenty of kind, supporting, understanding, overweight and unattractive people too. The person with more money is often paying for something... to characterize it as “kindness and emotional support” isn’t always being accurate or honest with themselves, anyway.
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Old Today, 12:52 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
There is a huge difference between one person making significantly more money than the other in a relationship vs. ‘mail order brides’. It’s not even in the same ballpark.
The commonality is the unequal footing. Both situations are full of potential of one person using the other. It could be either one taking advantage of the other but Id argue in a lot of cases someone is taking advantage.
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Old Today, 12:56 PM
 
14,287 posts, read 7,630,536 times
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The OP has 3 posts here. The first two were basically "My boyfriend of 1 year wants me to move out of state with him." The OP isn't fully launched and needs to get that sorted out so they can independently support themselves before doing anything. The boyfriend appears to be very controlling.


My take:
Let the guy pay. Absolutely don't move. Under no circumstances get pregnant. When you're fully launched with a career and approaching the relationship as an equal, upgrade to a better boyfriend.
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Old Today, 12:57 PM
 
1,086 posts, read 374,661 times
Reputation: 3530
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
There you go. There are some women who really mean it when they say they like old fashioned traditions instead of picking and choosing when traditions are convenient. He provides and you take care of the cooking, house chores, planning, etc. This works for you .
There is much more to it than traditional roles in my situation. My husband's career is very demanding. Corporate relocation (domestic and international), last minute travel (domestic and international), late nights, weekends, etc are a big consideration in our choices. I know many wives who are in the same role as me. All of us had high paying careers. We made the choice to simplify our lives. There is not a right or wrong answer here. It is about what is best for the people involved int he relationship.
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Old Today, 12:58 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I lived in Los Angeles as a very young woman. A Mexican guy there was trying to woo me. I'm like, cool, let's date. He Could Not Understand why I did not just fall over to marry him ... he nubbed me so much!! Um. No.
My colleague was too naive and trusting I guess? I think hes a decent guy, not ugly, good social skills. He probably thought she loved him.

He ignored the fact SHE WAS 21 and he was 35.

Point is he would by have been less likely to have gotten played if he were dating an equal. An equal is less likely to have ulterior motives like green card or money/ status.
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Old Today, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,063 posts, read 3,858,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
The commonality is the unequal footing. Both situations are full of potential of one person using the other. It could be either one taking advantage of the other but Id argue in a lot of cases someone is taking advantage.
The man I know who had a foreign bride, she left him after a few years and since he put the house in her name, she got half of it upon divorce. I would not say there was unequal footing there, I think they both probably got used in some way.
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Old Today, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,063 posts, read 3,858,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I saw something like that happen. A colleague of mine from CA married a 21 year old Eastern European girl and brought her home to CA. She divorced him after she got her green card. He thought it was a real commitment/love but apparently it was not..
This is what I've seen happen too. I've also seen where the man got fed up and filed for divorce. Often after just a few months or years.
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Old Today, 01:01 PM
 
12,982 posts, read 10,096,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
My colleague was too naive and trusting I guess? I think hes a decent guy, not ugly, good social skills. He probably thought she loved him.

He ignored the fact SHE WAS 21 and he was 35.

Point is he would by have been less likely to have gotten played if he were dating an equal. An equal is less likely to have ulterior motives like green card or money/ status.
Yah. The guy who tried to play me had no job, "worked" for his drug dealer cousin.... though in theory I was not supposed to know they dealt drugs. Not equal. As in, I worked at a GOOD white collar job... No need to settle for a doof. Yah I had some fun. But get married to that? No.
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Old Today, 01:04 PM
 
6,395 posts, read 6,150,986 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaGWS View Post
There is much more to it than traditional roles in my situation. My husband's career is very demanding. Corporate relocation (domestic and international), last minute travel (domestic and international), late nights, weekends, etc are a big consideration in our choices. I know many wives who are in the same role as me. All of us had high paying careers. We made the choice to simplify our lives. There is not a right or wrong answer here. It is about what is best for the people involved int he relationship.
Agree. This is what has worked just fine for you and other couples.
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Old Today, 01:10 PM
 
684 posts, read 343,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
The man I know who had a foreign bride, she left him after a few years and since he put the house in her name, she got half of it upon divorce. I would not say there was unequal footing there, I think they both probably got used in some way.
I wonder if that was her plan all along.

Its one thing to meet a foreign person organically fall in love get married. Ofc that happens with no exploitation.

The issue comes when its not so organic. Travelling to a foreign destination for the sole purpose of doing this or joining an agency.

One has to ask, with all the women in his own country, why does he have to fly thousands of miles to get a date? If hes not successful with women at home he probably wont be abroad either, unless ofc they want something from him.

Similar when men go out of their own age range or money/status range. She probably wants your money.
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