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Old Yesterday, 01:57 PM
 
192 posts, read 39,280 times
Reputation: 385

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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Because I like fun. How is that hard? To be fair, I did not know anyone in LA when I got there. I did not find out he was into drug dealing until a little later on.
Who doesn't like fun? It's obvious, though, that you're just humble bragging about a drug dealer wanting you and about the job you had. But, how could someone as highly sought after as you often claim you are have been in such a pickle?
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Old Yesterday, 02:00 PM
 
13,003 posts, read 10,104,817 times
Reputation: 16543
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Who doesn't like fun? It's obvious, though, that you're just humble bragging about a drug dealer wanting you and about the job you had. But, how could someone as highly sought after as you often claim you are have been in such a pickle?
Woooaaaa -- is there a world where getting a drug dealer interested in you is humble brag worthy?? Humble brag might have been if Bill Gates was interested in me. I sure don't think having a drug dealer interested in me as humble bragging. Nor does having a job. wf??
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Old Yesterday, 02:00 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,423 posts, read 567,149 times
Reputation: 1305
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I agree, Ive seen this fetisization too. I think its common to be attracted to the exotic. I didnt mean to imply something wrong with the men. But I think there is, with some. Its a last resort move for them when they cant find a woman at home.

I do think there might be an appeal of someone being under their thumb. Maybe they assume it will be that way? Someone submissive and obediant. Foot massages every night. While American women are becoming uppity, demanding equality now.

I think its all a symptom of macro social change.
There are so many stereotypes in this post - I donít think anyone was left out.
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Old Yesterday, 02:03 PM
 
684 posts, read 345,318 times
Reputation: 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
As described previously, there isnít always unequal footing in a relationship where one earns more income than the other (the lower earner is often contributing more in terms of income percentages). That said, ANY relationship has the potential to be a bad one - which is why itís important to gauge compatibility, intimacy, honesty, commitment, world view, friendship, and so on to determine its health (and not simply reduce it to a ledger by keeping track of who pays for what).

You are operating under the (incorrect) assumption a relationship in which one person earns significantly more than the other is always unhealthy (and then comparing it to the Ďmail-order brideí industry) which is absolutely ludicrous.
Its not always unhealthy, but the potential for it to be unhealthy is greatly increased imo.
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Old Yesterday, 02:05 PM
 
684 posts, read 345,318 times
Reputation: 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
There are so many stereotypes in this post - I donít think anyone was left out.
What I express is based on my own observations as someone who has lived abroad for years and observed these dynamics. Its all only my opinion though.
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Old Yesterday, 02:14 PM
 
7,800 posts, read 3,059,116 times
Reputation: 12844
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Who doesn't like fun? It's obvious, though, that you're just humble bragging about a drug dealer wanting you and about the job you had. But, how could someone as highly sought after as you often claim you are have been in such a pickle?
Oh alright, you brought out my humblebrag, #crippickle. Yeah, fun.

...anyway...anyone else notice How this thread keeps getting driven into the “wealthy guy problems” ditch?? OP never did say that he had more money than her, so start a new thread if that’s the thing that keeps derailing it.
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Old Yesterday, 02:15 PM
 
684 posts, read 345,318 times
Reputation: 483
Its not just men who do this btw. I spent a long time in Kenya, do you know many women from Scandinavia UK Australia Germany etc. go there just to find husbands? Then take their husbands back to Europe, have kids.

These women are almost always wealthy, to the point having an African husband is pretty much a status symbol.

I had no idea this was happening until I went there and saw it.
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Old Yesterday, 02:17 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,423 posts, read 567,149 times
Reputation: 1305
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Oh alright, you brought out my humblebrag, #crippickle. Yeah, fun.

...anyway...anyone else notice How this thread keeps getting derailed into ďwealthy guy problemsĒ ?? OP never did say that he had more money than her, so start a new thread if thatís the thing that keeps derailing it.
Many people were assuming OPís boyfriend made more money than her - but itís a direction which makes more sense than Ďmail order bridesí.
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Old Yesterday, 02:18 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,423 posts, read 567,149 times
Reputation: 1305
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
Its not always unhealthy, but the potential for it to be unhealthy is greatly increased imo.
Fair enough - I agree, which is why I (originally) stated more information would be needed (other than OP ‘feeling bad’) to determine controlling behavior (rather than make the unequivocal leap to a conclusion based on a few ambiguous sentences).

Last edited by CorporateCowboy; Yesterday at 03:07 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 02:20 PM
 
7,800 posts, read 3,059,116 times
Reputation: 12844
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Many people were assuming OP’s boyfriend made more money than her - but it’s a direction which makes more sense than ‘mail order brides’.
In your opinion, many assumed. Actually many assumed he was controlling her because of his controlling behaviors.
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