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Old Yesterday, 12:56 PM
 
8,594 posts, read 7,214,900 times
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It really depends on the nature of the person who is trying to pay it forward all the time.
I’m of the mind set that extremes are always bad and they will always lead to bad places. Especially so if the insistence is forced on you.
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Old Yesterday, 01:15 PM
 
9,094 posts, read 5,230,469 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
My boyfriend insists on paying for almost everything. I feel really bad because I donít expect him to be the one paying all the time. The last three weekend trips we had, I booked the room and paid since I should at least pay for some of the expenses. And yet he still asks me how much I paid so he can pay for it. I told him itís fine and that I am okay spending since itís only fair. Question is do guys like spending money on their girlfriends? Do you think that a guy should always pay in a relationship? Thoughts?

P.S. I had my car broken into recently and my windows were busted. Boyfriend took care of everything and paid for the repairs. He was the one insisted even though he didnít have to.
I myself would not be comfortable with that, especially paying for MY busted car windows.
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Old Yesterday, 01:21 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,926 posts, read 20,261,779 times
Reputation: 12519
Marry him.
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Old Yesterday, 01:28 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,926 posts, read 20,261,779 times
Reputation: 12519
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Marry him.
No, itís great that you are reciprocating by paying for the weekend trips. My husband acted like he wanted to pay for everything but was charmed by my insistence to treat him to dinner or a show regularly. You can have it both ways. Heís generous and trying to do things the old-fashioned way. Always thank him. Some men like to demonstrate that they can be men by playing this role. Women often like to show they care in other gender specific ways.

Just as itís perfectly appropriate to go Dutch, itís also fine in some circumstances to let someone do this for you. We donít all have to follow a certain formula.
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Old Yesterday, 02:14 PM
 
12,391 posts, read 13,687,681 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skaternum View Post
Different view:
Actually, he is not listening to you and disregarding your stated wishes.
Really? This is a power over pamper? Whatever.
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Old Yesterday, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,031 posts, read 3,845,244 times
Reputation: 20417
I think the people who are criticizing him for being traditional need to learn about masculine energy and feminine energy. He's a masculine-energy male and wants the more traditional role of protector. This does not make him a bad person. It just means he needs to date a more traditional female who is okay with him paying. I think the OP would be better off releasing him to someone else. It's not a good match.
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Old Yesterday, 02:36 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,937 posts, read 29,152,592 times
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I wouldn't complain. Keep offering. He is enjoying protecting but you want to make sure he doesn't start to feel taken advantage of.



Also, figure out something to do to "pay him back" that isn't handing over cash in front of him. Cook him dinner. If you don't know how to cook, learn how to cook something fancy. Ask to borrow his car while he is at work and pay to have it detailed.


Pack a fancy picnic lunch and invite him on a picnic.


If he likes sports, buy ball game tickets or concert tickets and invite him to go with you.


Think of good outings that don't cost a lot of money, so that he can take you out without spending a lot of money.
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Old Yesterday, 02:43 PM
 
12,906 posts, read 10,078,382 times
Reputation: 16484
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I think the people who are criticizing him for being traditional need to learn about masculine energy and feminine energy. He's a masculine-energy male and wants the more traditional role of protector. This does not make him a bad person. It just means he needs to date a more traditional female who is okay with him paying. I think the OP would be better off releasing him to someone else. It's not a good match.
In no way does this make him a bad person. But it CAN be an orange flag around control in this day and age. IF this poster does not want a "traditional role" then this clearly is a bad match.

Masculine energy. Um. Barf.
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Old Yesterday, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,031 posts, read 3,845,244 times
Reputation: 20417
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
In no way does this make him a bad person. But it CAN be an orange flag around control in this day and age. IF this poster does not want a "traditional role" then this clearly is a bad match.

Masculine energy. Um. Barf.
What is wrong with masculine energy? Is feminine energy "barf" too?

It also seems to me that a strong, independent woman would quickly exit the relationship and move on to someone else.
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Old Yesterday, 02:50 PM
 
12,906 posts, read 10,078,382 times
Reputation: 16484
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
What is wrong with masculine energy? Is feminine energy "barf" too?

It also seems to me that a strong, independent woman would quickly exit the relationship and move on to someone else.
Nothing wrong with masculine energy! I happen to love it! Associating spending money with masculine energy is kinda offensive to masculine energy. The implication that taking money is feminine energy is disgusting.
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