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Old Yesterday, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,617 posts, read 1,659,492 times
Reputation: 4552

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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
And as far as "relinquish{ing} his entire freedom"? Yes, I expect fidelity, sorry. Don't like it, easy to move on. If you don't want to "forsake all others," then don't make that vow-- simple. Andd yes, any sort of relationship (romantic or not) is a compromise. If you don't think BOTH people give up some freedoms, you're delusional.
I wasn't talking about infidelity! Heck, I have no interest in sex whatsoever, with my wife or with another woman. I was talking the freedom for peace and quiet, to come and go as I please, and most importantly, to be left alone. Like, I want to hit the gym or attend my board game group after work, and leave the dirty dishes for next day, but I can't. I have to go home to my wife and wash the dishes, otherwise I'll be in the doghouse. It's like living with your parents as a kid, except that you're allowed to have sex in the house.

My wife, on the other hand, will keep those freedoms; otherwise I'm "oppressing her". Pray tell, what freedom is my wife giving up? George Washington would be turning over in his grave, if he found out that our marriages have become worse than the English colonial rule.
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Old Yesterday, 07:53 PM
 
12,926 posts, read 10,090,619 times
Reputation: 16508
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
Apparently you have never made the mistake of having kids with 'The Man' who really wasn't one.

The last thing society needs is to encourage more men to be less than men. You can object to traditional roles all you want but the reality is that it actively promotes Misandry. Women can renounce their role in favor of what used to be the man's role but it leaves a void in options for men; whose biology is not as susceptible to propaganda as you may wish them to be. This only promotes Misogyny while pedastalizing the male role ... not the actual man.


Strong societies depend on strong female & male roles. Clearly, the OP has managed to find a man who is too genetically superior to be indoctrinated by the relatively recent social experimentation.
Societies depend on people. Not roles.
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Old Yesterday, 07:57 PM
 
12,926 posts, read 10,090,619 times
Reputation: 16508
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
What I've seen here is many posters seem to believe that gender is simply a "social construct", not something that is based in a person's brain and wiring. They believe we should live in a genderless society and even using words like "masculine" or "feminine" is demeaning and insulting.

However, it's not easy for someone who is oriented a certain way to be, and act, gender neutral.
I don't think you read very well! No one is disagreeing with the notion of masculinity or femininity. Just your attribution of what that means. For my part, I have never seen anyone suggest a genderless society. I believe the roles of our society's past are definitely based in less than fully helpful things. And I am glad to not be in a society that renders me inferior by most because of the gender of my birth. And I am all kinds of glad for the men in my life who share that view.
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Old Yesterday, 07:58 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,747 posts, read 4,968,363 times
Reputation: 12758
General themes I'm seeing here.

Let a man pay for everything:

She's letting him be a man
she's being controlled
she's being a freeloader
he's being a gentleman
he's being a push over
he/she's being traditional.

Woman offers to or pays half:

She's being considerate of the man's finances
she's not truly interested
she's trying too hard to assert her independence
he's cheap
he's not a real man, etc.

Can't seem to win or lose, so just do what you want.
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Old Yesterday, 07:58 PM
 
12,926 posts, read 10,090,619 times
Reputation: 16508
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Not only that, a man used to get a huge dowry from the bride's family, in exchange for letting a woman marry him. And marriage was far less unpleasant back then. Today, he's required to buy a $10,000 diamond ring just to ask a woman to marry him and relinquish his entire freedom. Which helps no one but DeBeers's CEO.
For whom? She was nothing more than chattel. Oh boy! Where do I sign up for THAT??
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Old Yesterday, 08:00 PM
 
12,926 posts, read 10,090,619 times
Reputation: 16508
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer View Post
Even today, most women respect a man who earns the dough and can take care of their family’s financial needs.

Equality of the sexes is largely a mythology.
Says the guy who lives in Alabama. Remind me if you are one of the ones consistently on here complaining about an inability to get a date.
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Old Yesterday, 08:03 PM
 
12,926 posts, read 10,090,619 times
Reputation: 16508
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I wasn't talking about infidelity! Heck, I have no interest in sex whatsoever, with my wife or with another woman. I was talking the freedom for peace and quiet, to come and go as I please, and most importantly, to be left alone. Like, I want to hit the gym or attend my board game group after work, and leave the dirty dishes for next day, but I can't. I have to go home to my wife and wash the dishes, otherwise I'll be in the doghouse. It's like living with your parents as a kid, except that you're allowed to have sex in the house.

My wife, on the other hand, will keep those freedoms; otherwise I'm "oppressing her". Pray tell, what freedom is my wife giving up? George Washington would be turning over in his grave, if he found out that our marriages have become worse than the English colonial rule.
Dude, if you live like this, you only have yourself to blame. "Society" did not do this to you.
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Old Yesterday, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,036 posts, read 3,854,796 times
Reputation: 20451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
General themes I'm seeing here.

Let a man pay for everything:

She's letting him be a man
she's being controlled
she's being a freeloader
he's being a gentleman
he's being a push over
he/she's being traditional.

Woman offers to or pays half:

She's being considerate of the man's finances
she's not truly interested
she's trying too hard to assert her independence
he's cheap
he's not a real man, etc.

Can't seem to win or lose, so just do what you want.
Add to that list, the "gold digger" label that is thrown at women.

Personally, I got tired of dating broke men when I was younger. As callous as that sounds. And sometimes the reason they were broke had to do with financial illiteracy and that's always a red flag. So I gravitated towards men who could pull out their wallet more easily. I even stopped hanging out with friends in general who were broke because they'd do things like show up at the restaurant, "forget" their money and then ask if they could eat half of my entree. I know I should be more empathetic and understanding and I was for a while, but not anymore.
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Old Yesterday, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
7,070 posts, read 3,941,707 times
Reputation: 16951
I dated a guy like this. I gave up offering after a while. He’s an adult, he could afford it, and nobody twisted his arm to do it.
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Old Yesterday, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Southern California
24,491 posts, read 8,581,808 times
Reputation: 15950
If the guy is financially comfortable and a generous person, let him do the honors. Once in a while if you can, pay. Cook some nice dinners or buy a nice shirt, sweater or whatever.
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