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Old 08-17-2019, 09:12 PM
 
Location: California
1,518 posts, read 443,912 times
Reputation: 2677

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
General themes I'm seeing here.

Let a man pay for everything:

She's letting him be a man
she's being controlled
she's being a freeloader
he's being a gentleman
he's being a push over
he/she's being traditional.

Woman offers to or pays half:

She's being considerate of the man's finances
she's not truly interested
she's trying too hard to assert her independence
he's cheap
he's not a real man, etc.

Can't seem to win or lose, so just do what you want.
I agree. Especially men canít win it seems. So much suspicion and discontent today on everything. I still think itís great and OP should enjoy it and treat him once in a while and leave it at that.
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Old 08-17-2019, 09:26 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,328 posts, read 318,610 times
Reputation: 1173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
My boyfriend insists on paying for almost everything. I feel really bad because I donít expect him to be the one paying all the time. The last three weekend trips we had, I booked the room and paid since I should at least pay for some of the expenses. And yet he still asks me how much I paid so he can pay for it. I told him itís fine and that I am okay spending since itís only fair. Question is do guys like spending money on their girlfriends? Do you think that a guy should always pay in a relationship? Thoughts?

P.S. I had my car broken into recently and my windows were busted. Boyfriend took care of everything and paid for the repairs. He was the one insisted even though he didnít have to.

Why do you feel bad, if he is offering.....unless he can't afford it? Then ita you should feel bad.....

It's Ok if your Bf usually pays if he wants to & if he can afford it......BUT it's not Ok to expect it all the time IMO. Do nice things for him too....shop for & cook him a meal to surprise him or... grab the check sometimes before he can......relationships are better when they are give & take........BUT they are not always even financially. My Bf is in another world when it comes to what he makes compared to me...

Lots of men like to spend money on their Gf's tho.......at least the guys who offer do..........
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Old 08-17-2019, 09:30 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,328 posts, read 318,610 times
Reputation: 1173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Not only that, a man used to get a huge dowry from the bride's family, in exchange for letting a woman marry him. And marriage was far less unpleasant back then. Today, he's required to buy a $10,000 diamond ring just to ask a woman to marry him and relinquish his entire freedom. Which helps no one but DeBeers's CEO.
Lol...awe...you're such a romantic!
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Old 08-17-2019, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,620 posts, read 1,661,372 times
Reputation: 4557
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Dude, if you live like this, you only have yourself to blame. "Society" did not do this to you.
I don't live like this. I'm shrewd enough to not to go to the Illinois Wifely Correctional Facility. But a few men I know certainly live like this. A few years ago, I used to invite them to hang out after work: a drink in a bar, a hike, a workout at the gym, etc. Time and again, he'd say he has to go straight home to his wife. Ditto for weekend outings; they wouldn't go anywhere without being accompanied by their correctional officers... I mean, their wives.

It was basically my "Scared Straight" program. After seeing the cringeworthy personas my friends turned into after women came into their lives, I vowed to never let any woman get close to me until I'm old and frail, unless it's strictly as a platonic friend. I can definitely see a "D.A.R.E. to keep men off marriage" campaign in the making. Oh, wait!

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 08-17-2019 at 11:27 PM..
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Old 08-17-2019, 11:47 PM
 
Location: California
1,518 posts, read 443,912 times
Reputation: 2677
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I don't live like this. I'm shrewd enough to not to go to the Illinois Wifely Correctional Facility. But a few men I know certainly live like this. A few years ago, I used to invite them to hang out after work: a drink in a bar, a hike, a workout at the gym, etc. Time and again, he'd say he has to go straight home to his wife. Ditto for weekend outings; they wouldn't go anywhere without being accompanied by their correctional officers... I mean, their wives.

It was basically my "Scared Straight" program. After seeing the cringeworthy personas my friends turned into after women came into their lives, I vowed to never let any woman get close to me until I'm old and frail, unless it's strictly as a platonic friend. I can definitely see a "D.A.R.E. to keep men off marriage" campaign in the making. Oh, wait!
Sounds like you havenít met the right woman. Not all want to smother their husbands and many do have other interests. These women sound rather needy and bored.
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Old Yesterday, 12:27 AM
 
Location: California
1,518 posts, read 443,912 times
Reputation: 2677
Thanks for the tip from whomever.
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Old Yesterday, 12:48 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,554 posts, read 3,369,498 times
Reputation: 14047
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I wasn't talking about infidelity! Heck, I have no interest in sex whatsoever, with my wife or with another woman. I was talking the freedom for peace and quiet, to come and go as I please, and most importantly, to be left alone. Like, I want to hit the gym or attend my board game group after work, and leave the dirty dishes for next day, but I can't. I have to go home to my wife and wash the dishes, otherwise I'll be in the doghouse. It's like living with your parents as a kid, except that you're allowed to have sex in the house.
I'm not suggesting you personally get married, because it sounds like it's really not your jam, but it is possible to find a wife who would also like to go to board game group and who doesn't mind leaving the dishes for tomorrow, or who has her own thing she'd like to do after work and therefore doesn't care if you're off doing yours.
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Old Yesterday, 04:54 AM
 
846 posts, read 469,552 times
Reputation: 798
it's up to you guys, work it out.

to me, it also depends on the economic situation. i make pretty good money, if the woman i was dating made near minimum wage, i'd prefer to pay almost all of the time. if we made the same money, nice if we swapped every other or whatever. but if she was a multi millionaire, then yeah it would be nice if she paid. really depends.
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Old Yesterday, 05:00 AM
 
846 posts, read 469,552 times
Reputation: 798
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
General themes I'm seeing here.

Let a man pay for everything:

She's letting him be a man
she's being controlled
she's being a freeloader
he's being a gentleman
he's being a push over
he/she's being traditional.

Woman offers to or pays half:

She's being considerate of the man's finances
she's not truly interested
she's trying too hard to assert her independence
he's cheap
he's not a real man, etc.

Can't seem to win or lose, so just do what you want.
it's up to the couple to work out. in today's day and age, men can't win and normally viewed with suspicion. If he likes you, he will show it, and one of the ways he will show it is by allocating hard earned money and resources on you. Not that complicated. if the woman is someone who is logical, and can come to her own conclusions in the relationship, it's normally for the best, as opposed to relying on opinions from her female harlot friends. Women who can come to reasonable decisions herself are more respected by the man. Appreciate what he's doing and show/tell him that you appreciate it in your own ways. Use your brain, make your own conclusions instead of relying on "general themes" you're seeing on an online forum.

Last edited by rya96797; Yesterday at 05:19 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 05:20 AM
 
12,939 posts, read 10,096,072 times
Reputation: 16515
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I don't live like this.
Rhetorical "you".

I am going to tell you a little secret. ONE does not have to live that way. Your friends are wimps and would be wimps regardless of what "role" they thought they were taking on.
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