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Old 08-19-2019, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,308,069 times
Reputation: 25947

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
I don’t know anyone who has sought a foreign bride (or has any interest in the subject). In fact, it’s a standing joke for most of us. That said, I can’t believe there are men out there who take it seriously (since the whole concept is a scam).
Agree that it tends to be scammy, but there are thousands of American men getting foreign brides.
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Old 08-19-2019, 08:33 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
8,506 posts, read 3,746,673 times
Reputation: 5767
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Agree that it tends to be scammy, but there are thousands of American men getting foreign brides.
I know it happens, but I personally find it difficult to see it as anything other than a standing joke among friends/colleagues.
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Old 08-19-2019, 09:51 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,766 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilliampr View Post
I would not feel comfortable with someone paying all expenses. I have always been independent and self sufficient. OP how long have you been together? Is his salary significantly larger than yours? Have you noticed any control issues in other areas of the relationship? You definitely need to address this issues with him
It will be our one year next month. As far as his salary goes he does make much more than what I make currently. He works full time as a financial controller and I just work part time while I study. And no I haven't really noticed any other controlling issues in our relationship.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:04 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,766 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
My boyfriend insists on paying for almost everything. I feel really bad because I don’t expect him to be the one paying all the time. The last three weekend trips we had, I booked the room and paid since I should at least pay for some of the expenses. And yet he still asks me how much I paid so he can pay for it. I told him it’s fine and that I am okay spending since it’s only fair. Question is do guys like spending money on their girlfriends? Do you think that a guy should always pay in a relationship? Thoughts?

P.S. I had my car broken into recently and my windows were busted. Boyfriend took care of everything and paid for the repairs. He was the one insisted even though he didn’t have to.


MORE INFO: My boyfriend does significantly make more money than I do currently. He works full time and I only work part time at the moment. And his reason for paying for my busted windows was because of the fact that I don't make as much right now...his words.

Last edited by Airekaaah; 08-19-2019 at 10:38 PM..
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:09 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,766 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by gymRAT3311 View Post
Girl, what is the problem? It sounds like you have a whole grown man who is into you and adores you enough to show it. It's just how he rolls. You can try to foot the bill on occasion, which is cool.

Do I think a guy should always pay? -- My mom would say "interested men act interested." I think a man who is interested in you and all about you will show it. One of the ways they show that is by being a gentleman and paying your way. It's just what an interested man does. I don't think it's necessary for him to always pay, but a good man, a real man would not want to make a habit of having his woman pay.

I've dated men who have a kid, and they were paying child support. We were making average salaries. I was not comfortable with them paying every time we went out, so I offered to split it or pay in full here and there. I've done that with childless men, too, and they appreciated that. But for the most part, even they insisted on paying most of the time.

My bf likes to pay for me. I have to be sneaky about it when I want to treat him.

It's cool that you are decent enough to pay sometimes. But don't overthink this and let that man take care of you.
I figured that's just how my boyfriend is. He is more traditional in that sense. Should have known when he mentioned on our first date that he will never take out a woman on a date if he can't afford tp. And yes there's some instances in which I have paid for things on our dates and he didn't pay back which was good!haha But it's more often that he's the one who pays.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:18 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,829,687 times
Reputation: 17884
I guess he’s paying because he has more money ...and wants to go out and do things that cost money.
That was kind of easy, don’t feel bad, he doesn’t mind. He insists because you’re a student.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:19 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,702 posts, read 1,821,976 times
Reputation: 4823
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
I figured that's just how my boyfriend is. He is more traditional in that sense. Should have known when he mentioned on our first date that he will never take out a woman on a date if he can't afford tp. And yes there's some instances in which I have paid for things on our dates and he didn't pay back which was good!haha But it's more often that he's the one who pays.
It sounds like it is something he sincerely enjoys and it makes him feel good. Why spoil it for him? Be appreciative and reciprocate in other ways that demonstrates your affection for him and makes him feel 10 feet tall.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:22 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,766 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by boxus View Post
There are two types of dudes like this;

type 1 pays for everything because he actually cares and wants to be that person to show he can support and be relied upon, and it is his nature, raising, whatever, that the guy pays for things.

type 2 pays for stuff because his end goal is control, but there will be tons of other signs if the girl is not naive about it.
I am hoping it's the first option. There hasn't been any other behaviors displayed by my boyfriend that exhibit someone being controlling in a relationship.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:30 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,766 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
But that’s what her OP is about, she said he is insisting. This isn’t about addressing or asking what we think about “other behaviors”. She doesn’t have to chose to walk out, it was just a question.
Wow I honestly didn't think this thread would generate so many responses. The intent of my post was merely getting other people's opinions regarding whether or not a man should pay in a relationship and if a man actually like spending money on their girlfriends. I just used my relationship as an example.
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Old 08-19-2019, 11:20 PM
 
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,519,241 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
MORE INFO: My boyfriend does significantly make more money than I do currently. He works full time and I only work part time at the moment. And his reason for paying for my busted windows was because of the fact that I don't make as much right now...his words.
Why do you think it bothered you ...to write about it....if he gave you that reason?
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