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Old 08-15-2019, 11:11 PM
 
9 posts, read 2,374 times
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My boyfriend insists on paying for almost everything. I feel really bad because I don’t expect him to be the one paying all the time. The last three weekend trips we had, I booked the room and paid since I should at least pay for some of the expenses. And yet he still asks me how much I paid so he can pay for it. I told him it’s fine and that I am okay spending since it’s only fair. Question is do guys like spending money on their girlfriends? Do you think that a guy should always pay in a relationship? Thoughts?

P.S. I had my car broken into recently and my windows were busted. Boyfriend took care of everything and paid for the repairs. He was the one insisted even though he didn’t have to.
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Old 08-16-2019, 12:27 AM
 
228 posts, read 272,179 times
Reputation: 308
Girl, what is the problem? It sounds like you have a whole grown man who is into you and adores you enough to show it. It's just how he rolls. You can try to foot the bill on occasion, which is cool.

Do I think a guy should always pay? -- My mom would say "interested men act interested." I think a man who is interested in you and all about you will show it. One of the ways they show that is by being a gentleman and paying your way. It's just what an interested man does. I don't think it's necessary for him to always pay, but a good man, a real man would not want to make a habit of having his woman pay.

I've dated men who have a kid, and they were paying child support. We were making average salaries. I was not comfortable with them paying every time we went out, so I offered to split it or pay in full here and there. I've done that with childless men, too, and they appreciated that. But for the most part, even they insisted on paying most of the time.

My bf likes to pay for me. I have to be sneaky about it when I want to treat him.

It's cool that you are decent enough to pay sometimes. But don't overthink this and let that man take care of you.
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Old 08-16-2019, 01:58 AM
 
Location: California
1,980 posts, read 591,630 times
Reputation: 3978
You are very lucky. Enjoy it.
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Old 08-16-2019, 03:40 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA/Washington, DC
24,306 posts, read 34,346,115 times
Reputation: 33566
I don’t think a man should always pay in a relationship. More importantly, I think you don’t think a man should always pay in a relationship or you wouldn’t have made this thread. I’d talk with him and say paying all the time ain’t necessary and taking turns paying would make you feel better.
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Old 08-16-2019, 04:14 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
40,289 posts, read 58,391,293 times
Reputation: 94827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
My boyfriend insists on paying for almost everything. I feel really bad because I don’t expect him to be the one paying all the time. The last three weekend trips we had, I booked the room and paid since I should at least pay for some of the expenses. And yet he still asks me how much I paid so he can pay for it. I told him it’s fine and that I am okay spending since it’s only fair. Question is do guys like spending money on their girlfriends? Do you think that a guy should always pay in a relationship? Thoughts?

P.S. I had my car broken into recently and my windows were busted. Boyfriend took care of everything and paid for the repairs. He was the one insisted even though he didn’t have to.
Feel blessed and show him all your love.
It's a keeper.
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Old 08-16-2019, 04:27 AM
 
14,332 posts, read 10,604,115 times
Reputation: 17784
I would be concerned if he felt he HAD to. I, personally, would not be compatible with the man = provider mentality. But it is not important what *I* would be compatible with. It is important what YOU are compatible with. It is not a matter of what guys should and should not do. It is a matter of whether you and he are aligned. For me, as I consider this question, I would ask myself why I doubt it. Why is it bothering me enough to ask the question. If he is an honest, good guy with a helpful nature and the money to do it reasonably, I would consider whether or not MY assumptions on compatibility (see above) would be worth tossing. If I Had this niggling feeling that it was used as a means for something else - power imbalance or quid pro quo, I would be quite worried.

What is the nature of the convo when you talk about it?
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Old 08-16-2019, 04:56 AM
 
12,534 posts, read 14,029,849 times
Reputation: 14860
Quote:
Originally Posted by Airekaaah View Post
My boyfriend insists on paying for almost everything. I feel really bad because I don’t expect him to be the one paying all the time. The last three weekend trips we had, I booked the room and paid since I should at least pay for some of the expenses. And yet he still asks me how much I paid so he can pay for it. I told him it’s fine and that I am okay spending since it’s only fair. Question is do guys like spending money on their girlfriends? Do you think that a guy should always pay in a relationship? Thoughts?

P.S. I had my car broken into recently and my windows were busted. Boyfriend took care of everything and paid for the repairs. He was the one insisted even though he didn’t have to.
Well, he sounds like a keeper.

Actually, he is courting you. Going beyond expectations to impress you.

You sound like a very sweet gal too.

Hope it works out.
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Old 08-16-2019, 05:10 AM
 
8,291 posts, read 10,209,153 times
Reputation: 15275
I would never want to be in a relationship with a guy who insisted on paying for everything. I want a partner in life who respects me as an equal, not someone who feels his role is to take care of me.
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Old 08-16-2019, 07:19 AM
 
3,053 posts, read 5,179,170 times
Reputation: 7842
I don't understand the "he's a keeper" comments at all.
His need to be The Man would drive me bonkers. Because this isn't about him showing interest or whatever. It's about him disregarding your wishes so he can satisfy his need to be The Man. The car windows thing is way too much. It's YOUR car. Presumably YOUR insurance. Why would you just throw up your hands and turn that all over to him? Is he your dad or your boyfriend, for goodness sake? Do you want to be a damsel in distress in this relationship? What do YOU want -- a partner or a caretaker?
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Old 08-16-2019, 07:21 AM
 
3,053 posts, read 5,179,170 times
Reputation: 7842
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Actually, he is courting you. Going beyond expectations to impress you.
Different view:
Actually, he is not listening to you and disregarding your stated wishes.
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