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Old 08-17-2019, 08:11 PM
 
13,266 posts, read 10,190,303 times
Reputation: 16782

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feyagm View Post
Hello, this is my first post here, and i feel like i need help.
I am finally with girl who i always loved. And now when we are together i kept screwing over..
I am very jealous and possessive. I want to know her dreams, history with every ex boyfriend, what is she doing, is she talking with someone when she go out with her friends.. this is killing me and i couldnt live a normal life with this going on. I overthink everything and it js really driving me crazy. She knows that i am jealous and she tells me stuff, but the truth is no one will always say everything. And that is bothering me. She dont know all this feelings because i dont want to scare her away. I really love her and dont want to lose her..
I was hurt by everyone in the past and i cannot trust to anyone anymore.
For example when she is out with friends, i cannot do anything, i just think about her, what is she doing, is she talking with some other maybe, did she saw an ex boyfriend or something.
I know that i have multiple issues and i really want to what is going on since i wasnt like this in the beginning of relationship. Then i didnt really care about all this stuff, but now...it is really hard and i just dont want to lose her... I want to be better and to change all these ad things and feelings.
Thanks in advance.
Please get therapy. Not meaning to hurt your feelings, but if she were on here I would advise her to RUUUUNNN not walk away.
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Old 08-18-2019, 07:18 AM
 
1,108 posts, read 696,364 times
Reputation: 3451
And you're going to end up being an ex boyfriend of hers who caused her nothing but trouble if you don't stop this. Due to your issues and the fact that she will most certainly break up with you over it, she will not remember her time with you fondly but rather dread that she ever consented to go out with you in the first place. Do you really want to be "that guy"? If not then get some therapy.

Get some therapy anyway because no one in your present or future should be punished by you for the mistakes of people in your past.
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Old 08-18-2019, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Eureka CA
8,486 posts, read 11,286,846 times
Reputation: 12966
That's not love.
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Old 08-18-2019, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
958 posts, read 199,256 times
Reputation: 1564
You need to see a therapist.
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Old 08-18-2019, 03:11 PM
 
26,465 posts, read 28,865,343 times
Reputation: 25409
Quote:
Originally Posted by evening sun View Post
ita
ita??????
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Old 08-18-2019, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,145 posts, read 8,468,915 times
Reputation: 19733
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
ita??????
I totally agree.
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Old 08-18-2019, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
4,285 posts, read 1,218,549 times
Reputation: 6151
Where did Feyagm go?


I think you guys scared him away.
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Old 08-18-2019, 07:12 PM
 
419 posts, read 109,091 times
Reputation: 846
The reason you need to get therapy is that your extreme feelings of possessiveness is the result of your hurt past that makes you feel insecure all the time with your girlfriend.

The core feeling you have is actually insecurity. Insecurity about sustaining a happy relationship.

This insecurity will cause your relationships to fail because you over-react with controlling behaviors and emotions that are attempts to compensate for the insecurity.

The feelings of insecurity are not your fault and caused by troubled events in your past, which therapy will help. Only therapy is going to help.
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Old 09-02-2019, 07:27 AM
 
3 posts, read 675 times
Reputation: 10
Thank you all ! Comments like these really helped. And yes, i talked with therapist, everything is much better now. So, my words for anyone who have same or similar problems is to occupy the mind, do your thing, and show that you are the best. When you understand that the right one will never hurt you the way you are afraid of being hurt, everything will be much easier. Thanks again for everything !
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Old 09-02-2019, 07:33 AM
 
11 posts, read 2,635 times
Reputation: 10
Wow your personality perfectly describes my girlfriend. At least you could admit your issues and wanted to get better. My girlfriend still refuses to admit she does anything wrong even though her thoughts are exactly as yours were.
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