U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-02-2019, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,303 posts, read 42,811,370 times
Reputation: 85677

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Feyagm View Post
Thank you all ! Comments like these really helped. And yes, i talked with therapist, everything is much better now. So, my words for anyone who have same or similar problems is to occupy the mind, do your thing, and show that you are the best. When you understand that the right one will never hurt you the way you are afraid of being hurt, everything will be much easier. Thanks again for everything !
For some reason I am skeptical about this miracle recovery.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-02-2019, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Eureka CA
8,486 posts, read 11,286,846 times
Reputation: 12966
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Get professional help for your insecurities, because if you keep this up, I can almost guarantee you’ll lose her.
What they said^^^^^^
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-03-2019, 06:07 AM
 
5 posts, read 267 times
Reputation: 15
How did your relationship begin? Did you conquer her somehow or what? Or were your feelings mutual? If your feelings are mutual, you should trust her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 05:27 AM
 
3 posts, read 675 times
Reputation: 10
Our relationship goes a long way, since high school, and yes, it was mutual. I mean she never really did any thing that would hurt me, and i would like that the same thing would go for myself, but i hurt her few times because of my jealousy and thats the reason why i wanted to control all of that and not to hurt her and repeat same mistakes as with previous ex gfs. Everything is great now, i told her that sometimes i cannot control my emotions and she totally understands and since the therapist and talk with her, i never had "episodes" like that. Before when i had them, i thought of every worst case scenario which can happen when she goes out with her friends, and now, its not like that at all, i completely trust her and just want her to be happy. I am not checking on her, nor i have that bad feeling when she goes out. And all of that because previous gf cheated on me and went behind my back...and thing i did was to project ex relationship with new one. And please, don't do that, its not the same relationship, keep that in mind. Also if your partner do that, please have understanding for them, they are afraid, insecure, and want to love and trust again. Give them time to recover and i promise you, when that phase ends, the relationship will be like a dream !
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 03:19 PM
 
784 posts, read 362,234 times
Reputation: 602
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feyagm View Post
Our relationship goes a long way, since high school, and yes, it was mutual. I mean she never really did any thing that would hurt me, and i would like that the same thing would go for myself, but i hurt her few times because of my jealousy and thats the reason why i wanted to control all of that and not to hurt her and repeat same mistakes as with previous ex gfs. Everything is great now, i told her that sometimes i cannot control my emotions and she totally understands and since the therapist and talk with her, i never had "episodes" like that. Before when i had them, i thought of every worst case scenario which can happen when she goes out with her friends, and now, its not like that at all, i completely trust her and just want her to be happy. I am not checking on her, nor i have that bad feeling when she goes out. And all of that because previous gf cheated on me and went behind my back...and thing i did was to project ex relationship with new one. And please, don't do that, its not the same relationship, keep that in mind. Also if your partner do that, please have understanding for them, they are afraid, insecure, and want to love and trust again. Give them time to recover and i promise you, when that phase ends, the relationship will be like a dream !
You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control your behavior. So, not acting on emotions you know are irrational. Its not easy, but its your responsibility to check your behavior when your emotions start to take over. Its unfair to take them out on your girlfriend and it sounds like you are very aware of that and thats a very good sign that things can be steered in the right direction.

When things get out of hand, just practical things you can do...let off steam, go for a run, work out, find some healthy way to vent excess energy like that. You cant keep taking it out on her, and I see that you realize that.

Correct, its not her job to assuage your wounds from the past, at least not when they get forced onto her in a form of mistrust or accusations or anxiety which she has done nothing to deserve.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top