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Old 08-18-2019, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,119 posts, read 3,886,671 times
Reputation: 20544

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I would give this woman some credit for honesty. She isn't stringing him along. I get a sense that the man is very indignant that she won't go out with him again.
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Old 08-19-2019, 01:21 AM
 
7,833 posts, read 3,073,360 times
Reputation: 12931
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I would give this woman some credit for honesty. She isn't stringing him along. I get a sense that the man is very indignant that she won't go out with him again.
Agreed, and I get that sense because he only chooses to make that clear after she said she’s not interested in another date with him, it’s now a transactional situation.

Did he previously announce it was his intent to pay, or is he painting her as expecting to be paid for, (maybe because he asked her out on the date and thinks he’s supposed to pay) causing this to become a situation of: “I’m not giving you anything unless I’m getting something.”

Maybe she already had assumed she was paying her own way? So confirmed, no second date for you, guy.
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Old 08-19-2019, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,757 posts, read 33,675,851 times
Reputation: 32589
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
And that's the thing...he'd never KNOW that he was wrong, so he goes on thinking he's got women who pay all figured out - a false understanding with complete confidence.
I fully admit I don’t have the first thing about women figured out. But with my history, when women pay their plate, usually a second date never happens, and them paying their plate is a foretelling sign of that. I don’t always assume that and I even go through the trouble of asking them out if I am legitimately interested but usually they decline. I guess you missed that part.
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Old 08-19-2019, 10:57 AM
 
6,406 posts, read 6,158,473 times
Reputation: 3660
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
When I was dating, I ALWAYS offered to pay for my own meal. I just got so sick of the rhetoric, mostly online, of guys complaining that women just dated for free meals, and decided I want gonna be "that girl."

It had nothing to do with not being interested in a second date.
Some guys might feel insecure or less of a man if a woman paid. A woman not just offering or trying but actually paying on the first date showed me she also cared about me, was as much part of the date as I was, etc. If she got angry after the date because she paid like I did then we would make each other a favor.
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:06 PM
 
7,833 posts, read 3,073,360 times
Reputation: 12931
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Some guys might feel insecure or less of a man if a woman paid. A woman not just offering or trying but actually paying on the first date showed me she also cared about me, was as much part of the date as I was, etc. If she got angry after the date because she paid like I did then we would make each other a favor.
Lessons From onihC:
Woman pays for man = She cares
Man pays for woman = She’s a Gold digger
Got it.
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
2,068 posts, read 1,332,192 times
Reputation: 4421
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Lessons From onihC:
Woman pays for man = She cares
Man pays for woman = She’s a Gold digger
Got it.
Yep. So tiring to see his diatribe over and over and over....

I always OFFER to split the check or pay for my own items on a first date.
And the 2nd.
And the 3rd.
And so on.

Sometimes, my offers are taken up and sometimes they aren't. I don't stress over it because I am out to enjoy the company and the outing, not obsess over who is going to pay. JEEZ!
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:24 PM
 
7,833 posts, read 3,073,360 times
Reputation: 12931
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225 View Post
Yep. So tiring to see his diatribe over and over and over....

I always OFFER to split the check or pay for my own items on a first date.
And the 2nd.
And the 3rd.
And so on.

Sometimes, my offers are taken up and sometimes they aren't. I don't stress over it because I am out to enjoy the company and the outing, not obsess over who is going to pay. JEEZ!
You posted the word “offer” that’s his hill to die on. Men can offer, women cannot or they are playing games.
Wait for it, in 3...2...1...
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:26 PM
 
6,406 posts, read 6,158,473 times
Reputation: 3660
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Lessons From onihC:
Woman pays for man = She cares
Man pays for woman = She’s a Gold digger
Got it.
You missed the part where I said "...she paid like I did..." meaning WE BOTH contribute to dating expenses since the first date. You not being used to contributing to dating expenses since the first date and instead leeching off men can make this concept difficult to grasp.


Woman pays for man just like he does = She cares.
Man pays for woman just like she does = He cares.


Pretty simple. When you start doing it instead of "trying...offering..." you will understand .


Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225 View Post
Sometimes, my offers are taken up and sometimes they aren't. I don't stress over it because I am out to enjoy the company and the outing, not obsess over who is going to pay. JEEZ!
If only women had the same attitude about house chores and said "I don't stress over who does house chores. I simply do them as I enjoy the company, not obsess over house chores".
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
2,068 posts, read 1,332,192 times
Reputation: 4421
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
You posted the word “offer” that’s his hill to die on. Men can offer, women cannot or they are playing games.
Wait for it, in 3...2...1...
And you were right! The "leech" post was inevitable.
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:34 PM
 
7,833 posts, read 3,073,360 times
Reputation: 12931
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225 View Post
And you were right! The "leech" post was inevitable.
It’s a fun experiment when it’s not so predictable.
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