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Old 08-24-2019, 03:37 PM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,279,016 times
Reputation: 4634

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt View Post
I wish. Last guy I dated was an unemployed surfer in Hawaii but he was so funny and comedic, I put up with it. Actually, he was between construction jobs.

First few times, I paid...he never offered. I was kinda curious to see how long this would go on.

Cut him loose after a couple weeks and he was clueless. "Can you tell me why?"

I get that it's hard to be responsibly employed on the Big Island, but still...

Sounds like Puna.
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Old 08-25-2019, 06:40 PM
 
2,095 posts, read 1,557,305 times
Reputation: 2300
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Who is more interested? That’d be impossible to gauge since no one wants to appear more interested than the other party. The line, “whoever cares least wins” reigns supreme.
the person doing the asking.
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Old 08-25-2019, 07:43 PM
 
2,556 posts, read 2,678,904 times
Reputation: 1855
I don't try to keep track of who pays for what. I just try to be reasonable and respectful to everyone. Sometimes, I might take some risks. It depends on the person, context, and my gut feelings. If a person these days tries to go off of one specific thing, it's probably a bad idea. If you're trying to convey you're not interested, you really should just be direct and 1-1. If they ask why, just say you don't want to discuss why. That's it.
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Old 08-25-2019, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,358,121 times
Reputation: 50374
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Who is more interested? That’d be impossible to gauge since no one wants to appear more interested than the other party. The line, “whoever cares least wins” reigns supreme.
So true...but if both people are good at playing that game, neither actually wins anything except staying alone - is that the unspoken prize? Oh, then getting to complain afterward about all the particulars?
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Old 08-25-2019, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Southern California
612 posts, read 1,513,011 times
Reputation: 403
I am a woman and have always splitted the bill. Incase if the guy insists to pay, then I would let him pay for both of us and I would pay for Uber or ice-cream.

Except my last experience with a guy was bad. He flew down to met me last weekend. We met Friday for dinner, Saturday for lunch and Sunday for breakfast. We split the bill on Friday, then on Saturday he behaved as if he didn't see the check on the table. I usually pay for meals when someone from far comes down to meet me so I didn't even bother and paid for both of us. Later that evening, I got to know that he is going to get all the expenses reimbursed from his company in the name of business related trip for research/survey of the product. He went for the dinner that night and didn't ask me to join. I took it as a sign, that he might not be interested. Next day he wanted to meet for the breakfast, we met, he selected a fancy restaurant and we had to pay while ordering. He asked me what I wanted to eat, but as soon as our turn came to order, he told me what he wants and then made an excuse to get water from the car (read sneaked out) and asked me to place the order. He was looking from outside and entered back after I was done paying the bill. I would have happily splitted this time around too, but I hated the way he behaved. Anyways, he invited me to visit him, but never heard back from him after he flew back (which I had guessed would happen).
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Old 08-26-2019, 04:05 AM
 
2,483 posts, read 2,473,538 times
Reputation: 3353
Quote:
Originally Posted by optimisticStar View Post
I am a woman and have always splitted the bill. Incase if the guy insists to pay, then I would let him pay for both of us and I would pay for Uber or ice-cream.

Except my last experience with a guy was bad. He flew down to met me last weekend. We met Friday for dinner, Saturday for lunch and Sunday for breakfast. We split the bill on Friday, then on Saturday he behaved as if he didn't see the check on the table. I usually pay for meals when someone from far comes down to meet me so I didn't even bother and paid for both of us. Later that evening, I got to know that he is going to get all the expenses reimbursed from his company in the name of business related trip for research/survey of the product. He went for the dinner that night and didn't ask me to join. I took it as a sign, that he might not be interested. Next day he wanted to meet for the breakfast, we met, he selected a fancy restaurant and we had to pay while ordering. He asked me what I wanted to eat, but as soon as our turn came to order, he told me what he wants and then made an excuse to get water from the car (read sneaked out) and asked me to place the order. He was looking from outside and entered back after I was done paying the bill. I would have happily splitted this time around too, but I hated the way he behaved. Anyways, he invited me to visit him, but never heard back from him after he flew back (which I had guessed would happen).
That's crazy. What a character.
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Old 08-26-2019, 01:50 PM
 
Location: North Texas
1,159 posts, read 619,428 times
Reputation: 2207
Nope. First date, he pays. Especially if he asks you out.
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Old 08-26-2019, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,374,216 times
Reputation: 25948
A friend of mine went on a first date with a man, he paid for the movie, then invited her for a drink afterward and said "I got the movie, you get the drinks". She was put off and never went out w/him again.
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Old 08-26-2019, 03:42 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 1,627,366 times
Reputation: 1166
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
A friend of mine went on a first date with a man, he paid for the movie, then invited her for a drink afterward and said "I got the movie, you get the drinks". She was put off and never went out w/him again.
Speaks a lot about your friend.
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Old 08-26-2019, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,727,010 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
A friend of mine went on a first date with a man, he paid for the movie, then invited her for a drink afterward and said "I got the movie, you get the drinks". She was put off and never went out w/him again.
Did he order a big bill and leave her holding the bag?

Were the drinks cheaper than the movie?

Just wondering what she was so put off about.
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