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Old 08-26-2019, 04:31 PM
 
219 posts, read 43,819 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Just wondering what she was so put off about.
That he had the audacity to think the date would be reciprocal. That's the context I got from it. IF that was the case, he dodged a bullet. Next
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Old 08-26-2019, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,198 posts, read 3,909,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Did he order a big bill and leave her holding the bag?

Were the drinks cheaper than the movie?

Just wondering what she was so put off about.
I think she was put off because it was the first date. I'm guessing the drinks cost about the same as the movie tickets. But I don't know for sure. She had been on another first date, where the man made her dinner at his place. He only gave her a salad. He had a collection of wine bottles but didn't offer to uncork any of them. She was put off by that, too.
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Old 08-26-2019, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,198 posts, read 3,909,513 times
Reputation: 20652
Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.

Well, this woman is someone i knew. And she was put off by the man's behavior because it was a first date. If it were a second or third date she might have been more open to paying.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-26-2019 at 11:29 PM..
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Old 08-26-2019, 07:49 PM
 
10,084 posts, read 4,717,449 times
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I've been out of the dating game for years but if I knew it was the first and last date I wouldn't care at all how it is split or not split. I'd just offer to pick up the tab. The cost of a dinner is a small price to pay for moving on and avoiding a dead end.
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Old Today, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Texas
10,198 posts, read 3,909,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
I've been out of the dating game for years but if I knew it was the first and last date I wouldn't care at all how it is split or not split. I'd just offer to pick up the tab. The cost of a dinner is a small price to pay for moving on and avoiding a dead end.
Yeah.

Anyway, I'd rather sit at home and eat a bowl of cereal, than dine in a nice restaurant with a man who's company I didn't enjoy.
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Old Today, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,269 posts, read 1,249,591 times
Reputation: 4065
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
A friend of mine went on a first date with a man, he paid for the movie, then invited her for a drink afterward and said "I got the movie, you get the drinks". She was put off and never went out w/him again.
I would be put off as well and feel the same way as your friend. While I feel that healthy relationships are reciprocal, I do not want someone dictating to me how and when I am going to reciprocate. No thanks. I'm an adult and can decide for myself how I will reciprocate in my relationships, I am not into dictators.

I'd be curious to know if he asked your friend for a second date. I'm guessing that he didn't because I can't imagine a man doing that if he was interested her, especially on a first date.
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Old Today, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Texas
10,198 posts, read 3,909,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
I would be put off as well and feel the same way as your friend. While I feel that healthy relationships are reciprocal, I do not want someone dictating to me how and when I am going to reciprocate. No thanks. I'm an adult and can decide for myself how I will reciprocate in my relationships, I am not into dictators.

I'd be curious to know if he asked your friend for a second date. I'm guessing that he didn't because I can't imagine a man doing that if he was interested her, especially on a first date.
I don't know if he asked her for a second date, but I know she had zero interest in seeing him again.

Since he was the one who wanted drinks, and it was a first date, he should have just paid. He was the one who wanted to go for drinks. It wasn't her idea.
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Old Today, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
384 posts, read 112,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SVTLightning View Post
I pay for the first date but I don't make a big deal about it. I usually pick a place I enjoy and I will have a good meal no matter how the date itself goes. I don't have to worry about the cost of meals on first dates.



Took the words right out of my mouth. I have no problem paying for a first, second, third date, etc. Regardless of the outcome, I will always pay. Yes, it's partly due to how I was raised, but I find it silly to split the check if I was the one asking the person out to dinner. And I will also pick one of my favorite spots or somewhere I know the food will be good, regardless of the outcome.


She isn't interested? Oh well, at least the shrimp scampi was good!
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Old Today, 12:14 PM
 
219 posts, read 43,819 times
Reputation: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
I would be put off as well and feel the same way as your friend. While I feel that healthy relationships are reciprocal, I do not want someone dictating to me how and when I am going to reciprocate. No thanks. I'm an adult and can decide for myself how I will reciprocate in my relationships, I am not into dictators.
Yeah... I agree...NO THANKS. To a lady who's too above it all to get drinks when she didn't get tickets. Again, he didn't miss out on anything by her being "put off" about it. He dodged a bullet. He really should have cut the date short after realizing how egotistically self-centered she was. If expecting someone to be reciprocal is being a "dictator"...then yeah... so freakin be it.
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Old Today, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,198 posts, read 3,909,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Yeah... I agree...NO THANKS. To a lady who's too above it all to get drinks when she didn't get tickets. Again, he didn't miss out on anything by her being "put off" about it. He dodged a bullet. He really should have cut the date short after realizing how egotistically self-centered she was. If expecting someone to be reciprocal is being a "dictator"...then yeah... so freakin be it.
Oh, I think she would have reciprocated on subsequent dates, some people just believe that first date, guy pays if he asks. And she may not have even wanted drinks, she only agreed to a movie. He was the one that chose to extend the costs of the evening.
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