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Old Yesterday, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,675 posts, read 8,271,335 times
Reputation: 5400

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Integrityornot View Post
What if you can "justify" their lying - for example, they may be too ashamed to tell you the truth? But they have promised in the past not to lie and while they seem to lie less, you still catch them lying about the same thing?
NOTHING justifies lying. And why should you have to put up w/ that when there are better guys out there. Unless you don't have the self-esteem to think you deserve better, then stay w/ the lying bum. You'll always be wondering if anything he says is ever the truth. Is that the life you want?

As we all know, if they lie about 1 thing, they'll easily lie about more & more & more often.

So he'll just say he's "too ashamed" to tell you that he cheated on you too...if you happen to find out after the fact.

RUN FAR AWAY & DON'T EVER RETURN TO HIM...end of story.
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Old Yesterday, 10:11 AM
 
8,606 posts, read 7,241,509 times
Reputation: 9077
honesty is an integral part of love for me. It’s what affords trust
It’s also why the idea of uncontainable love isn’t a concept I can agree with.
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Old Yesterday, 11:01 AM
 
Location: the heart is!
4,520 posts, read 3,819,356 times
Reputation: 9804
Quote:
Originally Posted by Integrityornot View Post
If you loved your SO and you believe they do too, would you leave them if they had a habit of lying about certain things, such as money? Would it make a difference if both don't live together? Even if the lying has no direct impact on you, does it make them less reliable overall or worse (a bad person, etc.)?
Lying is unacceptable period. If someone lies about "certain things then it is certainly very likely they will lie about other things. Important things, inconsequential things, yes it matters a great deal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PilgrimsProgress View Post
There are no victims, only volunteers.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Yes, this speaks volumes to me as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Integrityornot View Post
What if you can "justify" their lying - for example, they may be too ashamed to tell you the truth? But they have promised in the past not to lie and while they seem to lie less, you still catch them lying about the same thing?
With all due respect op, if "you can justify" their lying to you then you are a part of the problem in your current dilemma. You are allowing the behavior and whatever excuses you are being given to continue this relationship you find yourself in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Integrityornot View Post
It makes me mad and then it makes me really sad....I keep trusting him b/c I know we love each other and enjoy our company together but then you're right, I look like an idiot for tolerating this.
Looking like an idiot would be bad enough but more importantly how do you hold your head up as a woman and as a mother? As an example to your son and where the boundaries that there should be in a healthy relationship?

Truly, I don't understand how you would tolerate this, your own sense of self-esteem and respect from your son should be your guidance.

Jmho
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Old Yesterday, 01:41 PM
 
7,124 posts, read 2,566,561 times
Reputation: 16308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty View Post
Exactly. I honestly think that these posters are working on a creative writing project. The plot thickens with each thread....

This OP has been here many times, under different usernames. Always basically the same issue. OP doesn't like to acknowledge boyfriend, she doesn't trust boyfriend, doesn't know if she wants to co-habitate with boyfriend because he's not good with money... When she mentioned the beach house, I knew it was the same person.


Don't really understand the point of all the different usernames.

Last edited by Sassybluesy; Yesterday at 01:50 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 09:58 PM
 
714 posts, read 222,207 times
Reputation: 1953
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
This OP has been here many times, under different usernames. Always basically the same issue. OP doesn't like to acknowledge boyfriend, she doesn't trust boyfriend, doesn't know if she wants to co-habitate with boyfriend because he's not good with money... When she mentioned the beach house, I knew it was the same person.


Don't really understand the point of all the different usernames.
I always recognize this poster via her alliterative, somewhat rhythmic username(s), but I don't directly call her out about her repetitive posts under different names after being chastised by a mod for doing so nearly a dozen threads ago. Some weeks the different names are used days apart after previous threads were closed.

I'm seriously convinced that either this is a writing or research project of some sort or our O.P. is seriously afraid of being alone as she grows older.
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Old Today, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Scrapple country
1,576 posts, read 1,309,845 times
Reputation: 4706
Yeah, I'm working on my subtlety when it comes to our recurring friends. I don't understand it either, though.
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Old Today, 03:46 PM
 
1,444 posts, read 572,899 times
Reputation: 3226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Integrityornot View Post
If you loved your SO and you believe they do too, would you leave them if they had a habit of lying about certain things, such as money? Would it make a difference if both don't live together? Even if the lying has no direct impact on you, does it make them less reliable overall or worse (a bad person, etc.)?

A liar is a liar and there is no way I would want to be with someone like that.If a person seems to lie about small things to you..trust me he or she will easily lie to you about bigger things.Also lying either it being small or large...it destroys the TRUST.Trust is gone..so is the relationship in my opinion.I don't care what the lie is...a lie is a lie.Why can't you tell me the truth?
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