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Old 08-23-2019, 12:18 PM
 
2,201 posts, read 609,319 times
Reputation: 1468

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Patience. Don't be needy. Don't mention it. Don't ask about it. Nothing worse than a guy complaining about a few hour response lag.



If it's a day - yes, you have a claim. 5 hours? No. Chill.
I guess after a few days of a response back, I can relinquish the "What took you so long?" rule? And ask, 'What took you so long?"

Last edited by ThisTown123; 08-23-2019 at 01:03 PM..
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Old 08-23-2019, 04:07 PM
 
12,413 posts, read 13,739,264 times
Reputation: 14505
You have to know the pattern.

I got a text one time and I decided to call them right there. Two people said they wont answer. After five rings they were right and it went to voice mail. What’s that? You just texted!

So you have to understand that if they are a slow responder then don’t text them for a ride.
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Old 08-23-2019, 04:34 PM
 
371 posts, read 229,449 times
Reputation: 513
You're going out on about 2 dates a week with her, right? Sounds like she's into you. I wouldn't worry about the texting.



This might be a generational thing, but if I was that excited to converse with her I'd probably just ask her out on more dates (road trips are good if you both like to chat). When she stops saying "yes", then, well...
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Old 08-23-2019, 07:28 PM
 
5,170 posts, read 1,599,121 times
Reputation: 7145
Quote:
Originally Posted by james112 View Post
In early dating you should almost NEVER text to ask for a date, always call. When you set a date on the phone she has your personal live voice. You want to use your voice so she has a real emotional response to your offer for a fun time. And like men who like to hear their gf's voice, women like to hear their bf's voice.

When you call for a date make the phone call short and not chit-chat or start a long convo. Save convo for the date, and let her anticipate talking to you. Also ask to pick her up and do not reveal where you are going on the date (unless she is driving herself there).

If she declines you then know right away, otherwise she may not respond to the text at all, leaving you wondering if she'll answer. And texting gives her too much time to think about the offer.

If she accepts, then set a specific date and time, say see you then and hang up. You did good. Now, do not ruin it by texting her before the date. Do NOT send any texts before the date! Why? The date is already set. Women enjoy anticipation. Let her anticipate the date.

There is an exception to asking for a date in text. That's when she initiates a text to you. ANY texts she initiates you should set up a date as a reply. This is the only time to ask for a date in a text, is when she initiates a text. Chat for a bit, then set up a date.

Then for the next date, wait a week before asking again. Do not date more then once a week in the beginning. If she is enjoying the dates, she will initiate contacts more frequently. And then you can date more frequently.
James, he's asked her out 7 times. She's accepted 7 times. Whatever he's doing, he's doing it right.
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Old 08-23-2019, 07:44 PM
 
1,147 posts, read 318,832 times
Reputation: 3204
I can't see that it matters. She may be busy. She may be somewhere she can't look at her phone. Her phone may be on silent or in some other way she might not see your text until later. I assume she has a life outside of your and isn't always at your beck and call. If she's there for you when it's important, isn't secretive, doesn't text you to initiate a conversation and then not respond when you reply, etc., then what's the big deal? If you absolutely need a response right away, call instead.


Quote:
Originally Posted by james112 View Post
In early dating you should almost NEVER text to ask for a date, always call. When you set a date on the phone she has your personal live voice. You want to use your voice so she has a real emotional response to your offer for a fun time. And like men who like to hear their gf's voice, women like to hear their bf's voice.

When you call for a date make the phone call short and not chit-chat or start a long convo. Save convo for the date, and let her anticipate talking to you. Also ask to pick her up and do not reveal where you are going on the date (unless she is driving herself there).

If she declines you then know right away, otherwise she may not respond to the text at all, leaving you wondering if she'll answer. And texting gives her too much time to think about the offer.

If she accepts, then set a specific date and time, say see you then and hang up. You did good. Now, do not ruin it by texting her before the date. Do NOT send any texts before the date! Why? The date is already set. Women enjoy anticipation. Let her anticipate the date.

There is an exception to asking for a date in text. That's when she initiates a text to you. ANY texts she initiates you should set up a date as a reply. This is the only time to ask for a date in a text, is when she initiates a text. Chat for a bit, then set up a date.

Then for the next date, wait a week before asking again. Do not date more then once a week in the beginning. If she is enjoying the dates, she will initiate contacts more frequently. And then you can date more frequently.
Wow. Way too complicated, way too many "rules," way too many assumptions about what women want and do.

Don't be weird/clingy/needy/stalker-y. That's the only "rule" you need.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
I'd be curious if I made plans to meet up at so-and-so place and time, would she wait PAST that day and time to respond? lol
If YOU made plans, maybe. If WE made plans-- as in you and her both, as in you suggested a date and she replied in the affirmative that she would like to be there-- probably not.

If someone decided they were making plans for me and just texted me to tell me where they expected me to be? Nope, I definitely wouldn't be there.


Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
You have to know the pattern.

I got a text one time and I decided to call them right there. Two people said they wont answer. After five rings they were right and it went to voice mail. Whatís that? You just texted!

So you have to understand that if they are a slow responder then donít text them for a ride.
I find this annoying too, though I've also known people who were in situations (and have been myself) where they could text but not make/take a call (although they/I would probably immediately text to say "Hey, can't talk, but I can text").

More annoying is if you miss the call but call back immediately and they don't answer (it's entirely possible they still have the phone in their hand!!! What did they do, suddenly run for the bathroom???), or it goes straight to voicemail as if they hung up from calling you and immediately called someone else...
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Old 08-23-2019, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,333 posts, read 3,948,661 times
Reputation: 20814
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
If someone decided they were making plans for me and just texted me to tell me where they expected me to be? Nope, I definitely wouldn't be there...
Same here.
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:29 PM
 
416 posts, read 107,703 times
Reputation: 836
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
James, he's asked her out 7 times. She's accepted 7 times. Whatever he's doing, he's doing it right.

That's great except he is having REAL anxiety about texting and many posters have ruined their early relationships from texting anxiety and confusion. It's especially hard on guys who have to initiate dating. Setting dates via text is risky as the guy can not 'read' her emotional response to the offer as you can in person or on phone. Is she hesitant in her voice? Or happy? You can't read any of that.

One poster on CD actually sent angry texts after a long no response. She was out of town for a week. She was totally upset and his angry text ruined everything. He thought she had ghosted him.

STOP TEXTING! and talk in person. Unless she initiates texts and SHE, not him, keeps the text convo going, then ok. Only then. Men should not be texting like a teenage girl.
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Old 08-23-2019, 10:06 PM
 
2,201 posts, read 609,319 times
Reputation: 1468
Quote:
Originally Posted by james112 View Post
texting anxiety and confusion. .
I can't believe this is a thing. LOL. "Texting anxiety". Listen, it's only anxiety if you make it that way.
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Old 08-23-2019, 11:28 PM
 
932 posts, read 492,569 times
Reputation: 899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
Do things such as text message response time annoy or worry you? The girl am seeing she sometimes responds straight away and sometimes 5 hours later. When I am with her, I wouldn't say the phone is permanently glued to her face but she does us it now and again, so I don't really understand the times she takes ages to respond. How can I get rid of this feeling as when I ask her out she agrees every time which is the important thing. But the text message time still eats at me some how. Any tips would be grand to make me not care so much.
no. it's more irritating when the expectation is an immediate response. i try to respond the same day at the least, but dont treat texts with any more importance than personal emails or personal snail mail. If I know something is upcoming, I'll look for it, but if not, i'm not going to attempt to view texts or respond immediately.
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Old Yesterday, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,272 posts, read 1,252,156 times
Reputation: 4071
Quote:
Originally Posted by james112 View Post
In early dating you should almost NEVER text to ask for a date, always call. When you set a date on the phone she has your personal live voice. You want to use your voice so she has a real emotional response to your offer for a fun time. And like men who like to hear their gf's voice, women like to hear their bf's voice.

When you call for a date make the phone call short and not chit-chat or start a long convo. Save convo for the date, and let her anticipate talking to you. Also ask to pick her up and do not reveal where you are going on the date (unless she is driving herself there).

If she declines you then know right away, otherwise she may not respond to the text at all, leaving you wondering if she'll answer. And texting gives her too much time to think about the offer.

If she accepts, then set a specific date and time, say see you then and hang up. You did good. Now, do not ruin it by texting her before the date. Do NOT send any texts before the date! Why? The date is already set. Women enjoy anticipation. Let her anticipate the date.

There is an exception to asking for a date in text. That's when she initiates a text to you. ANY texts she initiates you should set up a date as a reply. This is the only time to ask for a date in a text, is when she initiates a text. Chat for a bit, then set up a date.

Then for the next date, wait a week before asking again. Do not date more then once a week in the beginning. If she is enjoying the dates, she will initiate contacts more frequently. And then you can date more frequently.
With regards to the bolded. What is the purpose of keeping your date in the dark about where you are taking her? I would want to know where I'm being taken so that I was dressed appropriately. High heels or hiking boots?
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