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Old 08-22-2019, 12:35 PM
 
13 posts, read 7,296 times
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Do things such as text message response time annoy or worry you? The girl am seeing she sometimes responds straight away and sometimes 5 hours later. When I am with her, I wouldn't say the phone is permanently glued to her face but she does us it now and again, so I don't really understand the times she takes ages to respond. How can I get rid of this feeling as when I ask her out she agrees every time which is the important thing. But the text message time still eats at me some how. Any tips would be grand to make me not care so much.
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,195 posts, read 42,737,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
Do things such as text message response time annoy or worry you? The girl am seeing she sometimes responds straight away and sometimes 5 hours later. When I am with her, I wouldn't say the phone is permanently glued to her face but she does us it now and again, so I don't really understand the times she takes ages to respond. How can I get rid of this feeling as when I ask her out she agrees every time which is the important thing. But the text message time still eats at me some how. Any tips would be grand to make me not care so much.
Focus on the fact that she says yes when you ask her out.

How long have you been seeing her? Does she ever initiate texts?

When she replies after a 5-hour lag, do you ever say something like, "Were you busy?" Does she usually say something like, "Sorry I was in a meeting (or fell asleep or whatever)"?
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Old 08-22-2019, 12:56 PM
 
13 posts, read 7,296 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Focus on the fact that she says yes when you ask her out.

How long have you been seeing her? Does she ever initiate texts?

When she replies after a 5-hour lag, do you ever say something like, "Were you busy?" Does she usually say something like, "Sorry I was in a meeting (or fell asleep or whatever)"?

I've seen her for 1 month and been out 7 times. I'd say initiating texting is about 60:40 to me.



I never ask those questions as I dont want to be seen as I am interrogating her. Is it important that I ask these questions? We are not BF/GF - exclusive.
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Old 08-22-2019, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,195 posts, read 42,737,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
I've seen her for 1 month and been out 7 times. I'd say initiating texting is about 60:40 to me.

I never ask those questions as I dont want to be seen as I am interrogating her. Is it important that I ask these questions? We are not BF/GF - exclusive.
No, you don't need to ask them. I was just trying to gauge the level of familiarity you two have.

Right now you're in that purgatory where you don't know each other well enough to feel super secure about texting habits. It's just part of the dating process. You're both trying to figure it out.

7 dates in a month is a good number. I think you just need to chill and resist the urge to freak out about any supposed delay on her part.

Be patient and play it cool.
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Old 08-22-2019, 01:34 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,210 posts, read 13,080,235 times
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Patience. Don't be needy. Don't mention it. Don't ask about it. Nothing worse than a guy complaining about a few hour response lag.



If it's a day - yes, you have a claim. 5 hours? No. Chill.
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Old 08-22-2019, 01:40 PM
 
13 posts, read 7,296 times
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Ok sounds good, I understand what I need to do now. I've never double texted or blown up her phone. I only ever text at a 1:1 ratio.
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Old 08-22-2019, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
4,741 posts, read 6,771,997 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
I've seen her for 1 month and been out 7 times. I'd say initiating texting is about 60:40 to me.



I never ask those questions as I dont want to be seen as I am interrogating her. Is it important that I ask these questions? We are not BF/GF - exclusive.
You aren't even exclusive and you worry this much over her texting you? She doesn't owe you a rapid response every time.
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Old 08-23-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Texas
10,323 posts, read 3,948,661 times
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I hate texting and generally hours go by, before I return text messages from anyone. Sometimes days.
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Old 08-23-2019, 11:49 AM
 
416 posts, read 107,703 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
Do things such as text message response time annoy or worry you? The girl am seeing she sometimes responds straight away and sometimes 5 hours later. When I am with her, I wouldn't say the phone is permanently glued to her face but she does us it now and again, so I don't really understand the times she takes ages to respond. How can I get rid of this feeling as when I ask her out she agrees every time which is the important thing. But the text message time still eats at me some how. Any tips would be grand to make me not care so much.
In early dating you should almost NEVER text to ask for a date, always call. When you set a date on the phone she has your personal live voice. You want to use your voice so she has a real emotional response to your offer for a fun time. And like men who like to hear their gf's voice, women like to hear their bf's voice.

When you call for a date make the phone call short and not chit-chat or start a long convo. Save convo for the date, and let her anticipate talking to you. Also ask to pick her up and do not reveal where you are going on the date (unless she is driving herself there).

If she declines you then know right away, otherwise she may not respond to the text at all, leaving you wondering if she'll answer. And texting gives her too much time to think about the offer.

If she accepts, then set a specific date and time, say see you then and hang up. You did good. Now, do not ruin it by texting her before the date. Do NOT send any texts before the date! Why? The date is already set. Women enjoy anticipation. Let her anticipate the date.

There is an exception to asking for a date in text. That's when she initiates a text to you. ANY texts she initiates you should set up a date as a reply. This is the only time to ask for a date in a text, is when she initiates a text. Chat for a bit, then set up a date.

Then for the next date, wait a week before asking again. Do not date more then once a week in the beginning. If she is enjoying the dates, she will initiate contacts more frequently. And then you can date more frequently.
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Old 08-23-2019, 12:12 PM
 
2,200 posts, read 609,319 times
Reputation: 1468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
Do things such as text message response time annoy or worry you? The girl am seeing she sometimes responds straight away and sometimes 5 hours later. When I am with her, I wouldn't say the phone is permanently glued to her face but she does us it now and again, so I don't really understand the times she takes ages to respond. How can I get rid of this feeling as when I ask her out she agrees every time which is the important thing. But the text message time still eats at me some how. Any tips would be grand to make me not care so much.
Yes, it's annoying. Just recently, I've been in touch with a woman that takes DAYS to respond. Appx 3 or at the most was 4 days. The one that was 4 days, I almost forgot who she was when she responded to my text.

I remarked on her turn around time being a little too long, and she claimed she's been "overwhelmed' lately and tends to be introverted when she's "overwhelmed" so she gets "stressed out" sometimes. It's a wonder if she's able to even get up in the morning to face a new day. I'd be curious if I made plans to meet up at so-and-so place and time, would she wait PAST that day and time to respond? lol

[quote]
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I hate texting and generally hours go by, before I return text messages from anyone. Sometimes days.
Ah...my case in point....

Really? It's that much of a struggle for you to reply to a text? Just curious, how hard is it for you turn on a light switch or raise your fork or spoon to put food in your mouth. You see, texting is just as easy. LOL

Quote:
I never ask those questions as I dont want to be seen as I am interrogating her. Is it important that I ask these questions? We are not BF/GF - exclusive.
Of course...ask away. I do. After so many times of that happening, I will ask what's up with their late replies....esp. when it involves making plans.
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