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Old Today, 05:58 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,534 posts, read 13,042,267 times
Reputation: 31385

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
If you didnít care about attraction, how did you determine who you liked or didnít like?
Their attitude mainly. How they talk to you, the smile, the eyes. When my wife and I met she talked to me like she'd known me all my life. She was 5'2", 148 lbs, glasses and a personality like I've never seen before. But I'm not Prince Charming but she liked me too! My wife does something most women wouldn't do for anything under the sun. She admits she has never worn makeup. Suits me! I don't see where she, or most women, need it.

 
Old Today, 05:59 PM
 
Location: London, U.K.
2,915 posts, read 3,317,980 times
Reputation: 1599
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Why not? You are the lowest common denominator.
Or women's evolutionary instinct to find the best provider is the lowest common denominator? Attractive women are more prone to act on their hypergamous nature because they can. And they're typically much more open and honest about it. If a woman moaned that all men judge her on her looks would you assume it was her fault?
 
Old Today, 06:17 PM
 
10,739 posts, read 4,335,772 times
Reputation: 27115
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
Or women's evolutionary instinct to find the best provider is the lowest common denominator? Attractive women are more prone to act on their hypergamous nature because they can. And they're typically much more open and honest about it. If a woman moaned that all men judge her on her looks would you assume it was her fault?
Both genders try to "marry up". Women in general historically have attempted to marry up economically and socially, and men, who are very visually oriented sexually, try to marry the prettiest woman they can attract.

I don't think it was evolutionary instinct for women to try to marry a man who was well prepared to support the family - it was a wise, careful decision - not instinct - considering the societal expectations and even LAWS that kept women from profiting from their own abilities, and owning property, etc.

At this point, things have changed. Men are in a bit of a pinch trying to find a gorgeous woman who will contribute 50/50 to the household income, and women are realizing they don't need to hitch their wagon to a breadwinner because they themselves are now allowed/encouraged to make money themselves and don't need to put up with a difficult relationship to be financially secure.
 
Old Today, 06:24 PM
 
13,085 posts, read 10,118,734 times
Reputation: 16611
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
Or women's evolutionary instinct to find the best provider is the lowest common denominator? Attractive women are more prone to act on their hypergamous nature because they can. And they're typically much more open and honest about it. If a woman moaned that all men judge her on her looks would you assume it was her fault?
I mean. All evidence to the contrary. It has nothing to do with fault. It smacks me of massive insecurity to be completely unwilling to look at the one common source of the possible problem.
 
Old Today, 06:26 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,560 posts, read 3,373,406 times
Reputation: 14103
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Deciding everyone who is pretty is unkind.....& everyone who is homely is kind.....is not so mature.......
Sure, there are certainly kind-pretty and unkind-homely people out there as well. I was only addressing the difference between approaching someone primarily based on looks (who may have a lousy personality) versus approaching someone primarily based on personality (who may not be good looking) - the former is probably going to be a more superficial relationship, and is more likely to be limited because looks change with time a lot more than character does.

In any case, the OP isn't looking for a woman who's beautiful inside and it doesn't matter what she looks like outside - he's looking for a pushover, and thinks he's more likely to find that among less attractive people. And that's shady.
 
Old Today, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
775 posts, read 151,513 times
Reputation: 1229
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
Or women's evolutionary instinct to find the best provider is the lowest common denominator? Attractive women are more prone to act on their hypergamous nature because they can. And they're typically much more open and honest about it. If a woman moaned that all men judge her on her looks would you assume it was her fault?
Yes but if we're going to talk about evolutionary instincts, not all women want kids and someone to take care of them while they take care of the kids. Plus women can now earn their own money and be independent.

We may have evolutionary urges but we don't all act on them all of the time. We are humans, we have the power to override them based on other things which are more important to our rational minds.
 
Old Today, 06:31 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,378 posts, read 321,882 times
Reputation: 1205
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
At this point, things have changed. Men are in a bit of a pinch trying to find a gorgeous woman who will contribute 50/50 to the household income, and women are realizing they don't need to hitch their wagon to a breadwinner because they themselves are now allowed/encouraged to make money themselves and don't need to put up with a difficult relationship to be financially secure.


No woman should ever put herself in the position to be *stuck* in a relationship...........I'd rather be in love with a man that can afford to take care of me than one who is lazy or doesn't work........BUT, I wouldn't ever want to be stuck having to depend on him.....

Always be able to walk & be able to support yourself......for men too! Some men rely on women financially......
 
Old Today, 06:37 PM
 
Location: London, U.K.
2,915 posts, read 3,317,980 times
Reputation: 1599
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Both genders try to "marry up". Women in general historically have attempted to marry up economically and socially, and men, who are very visually oriented sexually, try to marry the prettiest woman they can attract.

I don't think it was evolutionary instinct for women to try to marry a man who was well prepared to support the family - it was a wise, careful decision - not instinct - considering the societal expectations and even LAWS that kept women from profiting from their own abilities, and owning property, etc.

At this point, things have changed. Men are in a bit of a pinch trying to find a gorgeous woman who will contribute 50/50 to the household income, and women are realizing they don't need to hitch their wagon to a breadwinner because they themselves are now allowed/encouraged to make money themselves and don't need to put up with a difficult relationship to be financially secure.
Well, in that case, I date across, not up, as up would be a woman taller than myself.

And again, science considers it an evolutionary instinct. Like I said my last GF owns a spa, yet she is still after the millionaire. Looks-wise we match.
 
Old Today, 06:38 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,560 posts, read 3,373,406 times
Reputation: 14103
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
Women have a much longer list of requirements than men when looking for a partner. For us, we simply have to find you attractive and get on with you.
Even if these generalizations were true about an "average" man or woman, people are individuals, and individuals have individual interests and drives. There are countless men who'd disagree that their sole criteria for a partner is that she be physically attractive.

Quote:
I've been in this situation several times, mainly due to my height (I'm 5'8", I don't have a problem with it but women do) and I'm not a millionaire (self-employed architect, but that's not good enough apparently.)
I'm not a fan of the 1-10 attractiveness rating system, but I think if one buys into the system, being 5'8'' probably disqualifies you from claiming 10 status. If you took a poll of the physical attributes of a perfectly attractive man, the word "tall" is going to come up over and over again.
 
Old Today, 06:38 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,378 posts, read 321,882 times
Reputation: 1205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post

In any case, the OP isn't looking for a woman who's beautiful inside and it doesn't matter what she looks like outside - he's looking for a pushover, and thinks he's more likely to find that among less attractive people. And that's shady.
Ita.......the confident & attractive men out there don't need to make bad assumptions about all women judged only by looks....
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