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Old Today, 08:18 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,304 posts, read 71,525,630 times
Reputation: 77583

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
It’s not a lack of confidence it’s just reality that the better looking person in a relationship has the upper hand.

These woman treat me extremely well because they want to hang onto a good looking guy because they’re not used to dating one and are grateful

The lack of attraction at times is a roadblock but the other stuff makes up for it a little
No, OP, it's not "just reality" that the better looking person has the upper hand. It's your reality, because you've found women willing to toady to you. As someone posted near the beginning of the thread, there are plenty of average-looking women, to whom it would never occur to do that.

There are also plenty of good-looking people who are humble (unlike the way you come across here), and don't think in terms of having an upper or lower hand. They don't view partnering as a power play or status game. They're just happy to be with someone, with whom they're compatible and have a lot in common.

You're viewing life and relationships through your own particular lens. There are other lenses. Generalizing yours to the entire population of good-looking people is a projection of your own views onto others. It doesn't reflect reality. Human psychology is diverse and complex. A few people view relationships as you do, others don't.

And this is to say nothing of the women who may have the upper hand not due to their looks, but because they're homeowners or are high wage-earners. Some of them get good-looking guys chasing after them, doing chores for them, and whatever it takes to get in the door and stay there. Where does that fit in with your belief system?

 
Old Today, 08:20 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,304 posts, read 71,525,630 times
Reputation: 77583
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Not all good looking people are "high maintenance". Not all good looking people necessarily want to date millionaires or are shallow people who are just looking to "trade up" as you put it. You're making a lot of generalisations.
For that matter. some good-looking people hav e no idea they're good-looking. I know this doesn't fit with your world view, OP, but it's true.
 
Old Today, 08:25 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,753 posts, read 33,660,574 times
Reputation: 32583
Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post
Their attitude mainly. How they talk to you, the smile, the eyes. When my wife and I met she talked to me like she'd known me all my life. She was 5'2", 148 lbs, glasses and a personality like I've never seen before. But I'm not Prince Charming but she liked me too! My wife does something most women wouldn't do for anything under the sun. She admits she has never worn makeup. Suits me! I don't see where she, or most women, need it.
Smile and eyes? Sounds like physical qualities to me. So looks do play a part in dating. Ain’t no one completely blind when it comes to finding a mate.
 
Old Today, 08:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,304 posts, read 71,525,630 times
Reputation: 77583
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
So you’re just using these “less attractive” women? You’re not attracted to them you’re attracted to what they do for you. Make you feel special huh?
The OP has never answered those questions. He may not be attracted to them physically, but is he attracted to them on some other basis, other than what they do for him?

More info needed, OP. Are you still with us?
 
Old Today, 08:40 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,377 posts, read 321,882 times
Reputation: 1205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
The OP has never answered those questions. He may not be attracted to them physically, but is he attracted to them on some other basis, other than what they do for him?

More info needed, OP. Are you still with us?
Hi Ruth!!! He said way way back...that he wasn't attracted to them & sometimes that has proven to be a problem......

If he was attracted to them....it wouldn't matter cause he would be dating who he was attracted to & that's what counts.......
 
Old Today, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,753 posts, read 33,660,574 times
Reputation: 32583
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Hi Ruth!!! He said way way back...that he wasn't attracted to them & sometimes that has proven to be a problem......

If he was attracted to them....it wouldn't matter cause he would be dating who he was attracted to & that's what counts.......
I think he is lying when he says he not attracted to them. In one sense, he is attracted to the treatment he receives which may overpower the desire for physical attraction.
 
Old Today, 08:49 PM
 
1,084 posts, read 301,371 times
Reputation: 3039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
You are right. What is it with this, "all pretty people are horrible b**ches" stereotype. Some attractive people are decent, some are not.
I was actually referring to the "less attractive" women, as the attitude here seems to be that anyone who's not a knockout would treat any man like gold and kiss his feet who "lowers" himself to give her the time of day. Whereas maybe these women don't treat men like $h!+ simply because they don't treat people like $h!+, full stop.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
No, OP, it's not "just reality" that the better looking person has the upper hand. It's your reality, because you've found women willing to toady to you. As someone posted near the beginning of the thread, there are plenty of average-looking women, to whom it would never occur to do that.

There are also plenty of good-looking people who are humble (unlike the way you come across here), and don't think in terms of having an upper or lower hand. They don't view partnering as a power play or status game. They're just happy to be with someone, with whom they're compatible and have a lot in common.

You're viewing life and relationships through your own particular lens. There are other lenses. Generalizing yours to the entire population of good-looking people is a projection of your own views onto others. It doesn't reflect reality. Human psychology is diverse and complex. A few people view relationships as you do, others don't.

And this is to say nothing of the women who may have the upper hand not due to their looks, but because they're homeowners or are high wage-earners. Some of them get good-looking guys chasing after them, doing chores for them, and whatever it takes to get in the door and stay there. Where does that fit in with your belief system?
It won't let me give you a positive rating again, but imagine me hitting that button several times in succession.
 
Old Today, 08:51 PM
 
22 posts, read 2,167 times
Reputation: 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
I don't go for "high maintenance" women, just the ones I find attractive. But in over a decade of dating now its happened every single time. A decade-plus of this is not simply a coincidence. Nor can it simply be me.
But it is you, because you are shallow and continue to pick women based on their looks. You keep repeating the same pattern over and over again and you keep getting the same result. Maybe you should try something different and see where that gets you. But that would require some emotional depth...
 
Old Today, 08:55 PM
 
690 posts, read 346,220 times
Reputation: 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
The average height for a man in the UK is 5'9" (Average woman 5'3".)
Im 5'4" and Im American with Swedish and Welsh ancestors. Most Swedes are tall but my Swedish relatives were shortish. Im quite short by American standards. Even traveling through Europe Ive had many people towering over me. And even so I guess in my own shallow way I am attracted to men at least 6 feet.

Ive gone on dates with guys who catfished me, said they were 5'6" or 5'8". We met and they were shorter than me.

I just cant. A guy a few inches taller, fine. But shorter? Im short as it is.

That said I feel for these guys. To be short and a guy is like being a flat chested girl.

I know Im sounding shallow.

Lower your standards, if you're lonely and not having success with women you consider your calibre; you are probably overestimating your market value.
 
Old Today, 09:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,304 posts, read 71,525,630 times
Reputation: 77583
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
Hi Ruth!!! He said way way back...that he wasn't attracted to them & sometimes that has proven to be a problem......

If he was attracted to them....it wouldn't matter cause he would be dating who he was attracted to & that's what counts.......
OK. I wasn't ready to jump to that conclusion, though it's a logical one. I asked him earlier for clarification, IOW a bit more depth do his views. But you're probably right. Sounds like he's dating doormats.

Interesting how his dating choices so far have been either "high maintenance" babes, or doormat average women. I think that says more about the OP than it does about women and human nature.
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