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Old Today, 02:46 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,377 posts, read 321,882 times
Reputation: 1205

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Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
No, he's doing it simply because they're easier and he doesn't have to perform for them. Nothing to do with self-worth or anything like that.

Shaming tactics are totally unconstructive, and it doesn't work on men at all.


What man with any kind of self worth or confidence would settle for someone *he thinks* is unattractive....just because he is afraid a more attractive option will leave him for someone else or has better options like in his post???????? That's the very definition of lack of self worth!!!!

 
Old Today, 02:53 PM
 
Location: London, U.K.
2,915 posts, read 3,317,980 times
Reputation: 1599
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
This is nothing more than ...."settling".....because you don't feel good enough. Attractive people can fall in love just as much as unattractive people so it's kinda silly to say attractive women are hard to keep happy....as if they are all the same.

Why has it been a struggle for you to keep relationships?
While you are correct that good looking people can fall in love, its usually only with people who are our equals.

You're also ignoring women's hypergamous nature. A woman who is a perfect 10 can get a man who is a perfect 10 (male model looks, high status, 6 figure income/millionaire, tall, "alpha" masculine etc) The fact is if the OP falls short of those requirements (given his original post its on the income side,) a beautiful woman will never see him as "good enough". Women have a much longer list of requirements than men when looking for a partner. For us, we simply have to find you attractive and get on with you.

I've been in this situation several times, mainly due to my height (I'm 5'8", I don't have a problem with it but women do) and I'm not a millionaire (self-employed architect, but that's not good enough apparently.)

Last edited by archineer; Today at 03:04 PM..
 
Old Today, 02:56 PM
 
Location: London, U.K.
2,915 posts, read 3,317,980 times
Reputation: 1599
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh View Post
What man with any kind of self worth or confidence would settle for someone *he thinks* is unattractive....just because he is afraid a more attractive option will leave him for someone else or has better options like in his post???????? That's the very definition of lack of self worth!!!!
He's not "afraid" as such, its because beautiful women are high maintenance and a pain to keep. They can bag a handsome millionaire if they can find one so are always looking to trade up.
 
Old Today, 02:57 PM
 
3,894 posts, read 1,803,068 times
Reputation: 7697
For those keeping score at home, the "number" is arrived at by the following formula:

11-2WH-(A/10)+HL

with WH being waist to hip ratio, A being age, and HL being hair length or hot librarian fantasy, depending on the guy's preference. If she fits the hot librarian fantasy, then **** the formula, she's a 10. The hair length is arrived at thusly:

Really short like a boy-1
Pixie cut-0
Bob (hair cut, not some dude)+.5
Shoulder length+1
Past shoulders+2
Even longer+2.5

So a woman with a WH of .7, who is 21 years old with even longer hair would be a 10. Check it out:

11-2(.7)-2.1+2.5=10

You may also note that the same woman at age 18 is a 10.3, and at 15 a 10.6. This apparent super perfect score is not a bug but a feature of the scoring, a bonus factor of sorts, because biology and fertility and shyt. Same if she somehow has hips twice as wide as her waist, for the same reasons.

Hope that helps.

And by the way, the rating system for men is mostly related to the proper, or at least plausibly proper use of the word thusly (5 points) along with the possibly dubious use of colons, which accrue 5 points if used correctly or 5 points for him having the balls to use colons at all.

Last edited by homina12; Today at 03:08 PM..
 
Old Today, 03:02 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,377 posts, read 321,882 times
Reputation: 1205
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post

I've been in this situation several times, mainly due to my height (I'm 5'8") and I'm not a millionaire (self-employed architect, but that's not good enough apparently.)
You're right....I've always only dated tall men......

BUT physical chemistry is more than he has to be over 6'0 for me...it's something I want to have *with* my guy .... & O.P. is admitting he doesn't. That's what makes it wrong.........& silly.

Chemistry is more important than his looks or mine.....it's how we go together.........
 
Old Today, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,940 posts, read 42,522,667 times
Reputation: 84870
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post

No, he's doing it simply because they're easier and he doesn't have to perform for them. Nothing to do with self-worth or anything like that.
Easier than what?

"Perform"? You mean put in reciprocal effort?

Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post

Shaming tactics are totally unconstructive, and it doesn't work on men at all.
If I were using shaming tactics, you would know. Emotionally stunted men who score people with numbers and brush off real helpful advice with buzzwords like "shaming" aren't likely to understand the nuances of psychological development as they relate to dating and relationships anyway.

Your ability to downplay your own shortcomings while simultaneously weighting those of women in your dating pool is the dead giveaway.
 
Old Today, 03:06 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,304 posts, read 71,525,630 times
Reputation: 77583
OP, I don't quite get the full picture you present. Perhaps you could clarify a little. You're dating women you don't find especially physically attractive. Do you find anything attractive about them at all, besides their willingness to please you? Do you like them, as people? And while we're clarifying....what does "dating" them entail, exactly? IOW, are you using them for sex to scratch that particular itch, without having any serious LTR intentions with them, or could you actually see yourself getting into a committed relationship with one, when the right one comes along?

We can't really answer your question, without understanding your motives and intentions; "is it wrong" would depend on if you're just using them for ego gratification (among other types of gratification... ) and leading them on, or of you're honestly looking for a serious partner after adjusting your search criteria to include more than just looks. If the latter, it would mean you may have matured a bit, and it wouldn't be wrong. If the former, well.... of course it's wrong. As if you didn't already know that.
 
Old Today, 03:09 PM
 
10,739 posts, read 4,335,772 times
Reputation: 27102
Quote:
Originally Posted by archineer View Post
While you are correct that good looking people can fall in love, its usually only with people who are our equals.

You're also ignoring women's hypergamous nature. A woman who is a perfect 10 can get a man who is a perfect 10 (male model looks, high status, 6 figure income/millionaire, tall, "alpha" masculine etc) The fact is if the OP falls short of those requirements (given his original post its on the income side,) a beautiful woman will never see him as "good enough". Women have a much longer list of requirements than men when looking for a partner. For us, we simply have to find you attractive and get on with you.

I've been in this situation several times, mainly due to my height (I'm 5'8", I don't have a problem with it but women do) and I'm not a millionaire (self-employed architect, but that's not good enough apparently.)
You're a bit confusing, archineer, spending the last several posts calling yourself a 9-10 and saying your kind (the perfect male specimen) won't accept a woman as low as a 7.

I'm sitting here a bit baffled. Basically, you're saying "I'm a 9-10, but somehow the women don't see it that way".
 
Old Today, 03:11 PM
 
Location: London, U.K.
2,915 posts, read 3,317,980 times
Reputation: 1599
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Easier than what?

"Perform"? You mean put in reciprocal effort?
That he isn't wealthy enough. Beautiful women do not put in any effort, they just think their looks are enough. I've been there several times.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
If I were using shaming tactics, you would know. Emotionally stunted men who score people with numbers and brush off real helpful advice with buzzwords like "shaming" aren't likely to understand the nuances of psychological development as they relate to dating and relationships anyway.

Your ability to downplay your own shortcomings while simultaneously weighting those of women in your dating pool is the dead giveaway.
This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're not even aware of when you are doing it, nothing you said was helpful.

I know full well what my strengths and weaknesses are now when it comes to dating (my failing health being the main one now.) I'm not downplaying my shortcomings at all. I care about honesty and accuracy when it comes to talking about things, regardless of whether someone gets offended.
 
Old Today, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Prepperland
13,843 posts, read 9,939,776 times
Reputation: 9990
There's an old song that is based on the sound notion to make an ugly woman your wife.
As long as the inner soul is beautiful, you can't lose.
Of course, if your inner soul is horrid, she loses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg
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