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Old Today, 01:05 PM
 
24 posts, read 3,015 times
Reputation: 19

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Iíve been with a lot of conventionally attractive woman and it was always high maintenance and a struggle to keep them happy because they have a ton of options and realize that.

Since then Iíve puprosely dated less attractive woman who are just grateful to be with a good looking guy (There words not mine lol) and do whatever it takes to please me and keep me happy and satisfied.

Im not gonna sit here and say Iím extremely attracted to these woman but they bend over backwards for me and i know they wonít be high maintenance or be looking for the next better option like woman who are I never high demand.

 
Old Today, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,940 posts, read 42,522,667 times
Reputation: 84870
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
I’ve been with a lot of conventionally attractive woman and it was always high maintenance and a struggle to keep them happy because they have a ton of options and realize that.

Since then I’ve puprosely dated less attractive woman who are just grateful to be with a good looking guy (There words not mine lol) and do whatever it takes to please me and keep me happy and satisfied.

Im not gonna sit here and say I’m extremely attracted to these woman but they bend over backwards for me and i know they won’t be high maintenance or be looking for the next better option like woman who are I never high demand.
Hmmmm ... how to word this.

Well, no, in general it's not "wrong" to purposefully date less attractive people but it's wrong to do it for the reason you're asserting here.

Your postulate isn't really about attraction but about self-image and self-worth.

I would assert that it's not wrong to stop dating self-absorbed jerks who "realize they have tons of options" and as a result play into your insecurities.

It IS wrong to date women who are supposedly grateful that you even asked just so you can have someone fluff your tender ego.
 
Old Today, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
7,102 posts, read 3,954,596 times
Reputation: 17012
I have no other choice!

:
 
Old Today, 01:22 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,182 posts, read 13,026,171 times
Reputation: 31682
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
I’ve been with a lot of conventionally attractive woman and it was always high maintenance and a struggle to keep them happy because they have a ton of options and realize that.

Since then I’ve puprosely dated less attractive woman who are just grateful to be with a good looking guy (There words not mine lol) and do whatever it takes to please me and keep me happy and satisfied.

Im not gonna sit here and say I’m extremely attracted to these woman but they bend over backwards for me and i know they won’t be high maintenance or be looking for the next better option like woman who are I never high demand.
I know what you mean but it kinda came out wrong.
I have much more luck with men who aren't seen as super attractive for the same reason.



But I am not faking it, I really am attracted more to someone who has visible flaws because I find them more interesting. Besides the fact they are less douchey and much nicer. They are thankful to be with me and I am thankful to be with them.
 
Old Today, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,753 posts, read 33,660,574 times
Reputation: 32583
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
I’ve been with a lot of conventionally attractive woman and it was always high maintenance and a struggle to keep them happy because they have a ton of options and realize that.

Since then I’ve puprosely dated less attractive woman who are just grateful to be with a good looking guy (There words not mine lol) and do whatever it takes to please me and keep me happy and satisfied.

Im not gonna sit here and say I’m extremely attracted to these woman but they bend over backwards for me and i know they won’t be high maintenance or be looking for the next better option like woman who are I never high demand.
I don’t think it is wrong to date women who are more receptive and more willing to please you, if you can live with them not being as attractive. I think you only as nice and faithful to a person as your options.
 
Old Today, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,233 posts, read 7,485,507 times
Reputation: 21948
Are you able to enjoy intimacy with these "less attractive" women?
Are you able to form emotional bonds with them?
Do you treat them in the same way, with the same regard, with the same respect and appreciation? Or do you figure you can get away with putting in a lot less effort in the relationship, because they have fewer options and will stay anyways?

As oh-eve said, it kind of came out wrong.

I'm with a guy who really wasn't seen as desirable by women, for his entire life. He is now 60 years old, he's not very tall, he's not objectively sexy by some standards (not athletic, for instance, in build.) He is socially awkward and nerdy. Not just shy, but awkward in that ridiculous way... Like if a teenager is standing with some friends, and their Dad comes up and tries to do a "rap" or use the kids' slang, and it's embarrassing? That kind of awkward. I find it adorable. I know that not everyone would, though.

I can KNOW that there are things about him that make him less than appealing to many women...and yet when I look at him, in my eyes, he is wonderful, precious, and I simply feel I've been allowed to see the aspects of his self that he doesn't share with everyone. I am able to be aware of how others might perceive someone, yet maintain my own view of them. I'm interested in a person's layers though, not just what is immediately apparent on the outside. I would not have anyone else. His gratitude for my companionship does make him treat me very well, and I appreciate that.

I guess the only way I can put this is...if I had to be stranded on a desert island with one person to love for the rest of my life, setting aside survival needs like "somebody who is good at fishing" and only considering it from the perspective of removing that variable of whether they have "options" and so on... I would not choose a more conventionally attractive man. I would choose the one I have found to love, who also loves me.

Can you say the same?
 
Old Today, 01:47 PM
 
Location: new to the BA & l o v e it
1,377 posts, read 321,882 times
Reputation: 1205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg78 View Post
Iíve been with a lot of conventionally attractive woman and it was always high maintenance and a struggle to keep them happy because they have a ton of options and realize that.

Since then Iíve puprosely dated less attractive woman who are just grateful to be with a good looking guy (There words not mine lol) and do whatever it takes to please me and keep me happy and satisfied.

Im not gonna sit here and say Iím extremely attracted to these woman but they bend over backwards for me and i know they wonít be high maintenance or be looking for the next better option like woman who are I never high demand.
This is nothing more than ...."settling".....because you don't feel good enough. Attractive people can fall in love just as much as unattractive people so it's kinda silly to say attractive women are hard to keep happy....as if they are all the same.

Why has it been a struggle for you to keep relationships?
 
Old Today, 01:48 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,530 posts, read 13,042,267 times
Reputation: 31380
I imagine there are quite a few "less attractive" women who wouldn't stoop low enough to date a man like you.
When I dated I could care less if they were attractive or not. I was raised a whole lot better than that.
 
Old Today, 01:50 PM
 
7,830 posts, read 3,065,559 times
Reputation: 12915
We are all dating much less attractive people.
 
Old Today, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,753 posts, read 33,660,574 times
Reputation: 32583
Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post
I imagine there are quite a few "less attractive" women who wouldn't stoop low enough to date a man like you.
When I dated I could care less if they were attractive or not. I was raised a whole lot better than that.
If you didnít care about attraction, how did you determine who you liked or didnít like?
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