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Old Today, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,995 posts, read 42,583,784 times
Reputation: 85065

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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I must be far older than you. I am guessing you are early high school. The idea of "bases" is something I have not heard of since then. Ohhh I touched her breast! How exciting! Titter titter. Giggle giggle.
Right???

In the immortal words of Elaine Benes on Seinfeld:

"I'd watch the third base coach if I were you 'cause I don't think he's waving you in."

I agree with Meta: No magic number; up to the two people involved to decide.
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Old Today, 07:22 AM
 
10,782 posts, read 4,353,111 times
Reputation: 27180
This article appears to be written Cosmopolitan magazine style, with little substance.

It completely lost me with the opening sentence:

There was a time when sex rarely, if ever, preceded a marriage, let alone a relationship. But it's 2019 and that's just not the way the world works anymore. (Le sigh.)

I wonder what time frame the author is imagining this? I think it's likely that teenagers married as virgins - an 18 year old girl and a 20 year old guy might have - but after that, no. It's true that no women except prostitutes (and they have always been plentiful) would willingly have sex with a man she didn't consider herself to be in a relationship with, but premarital sex has always been common. People just didn't announce it so vulgarly, and girls who had sex with several men indiscriminately were shamed - but the men or boys knew who they were (and so did the girls) and went to them for easy sex.

I wonder what the author would have thought of Ogden Nash's line, in 1931, "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker" meant? It meant, that a man "courting" a woman could get favors with candy, but more successfully by getting her drunk.
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Old Today, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,368 posts, read 46,079,717 times
Reputation: 62237
DH and I waited until a few days before our first date. That was 40 years ago.
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Old Today, 07:25 AM
 
26 posts, read 2,326 times
Reputation: 83
No magic number per say but for me, it was minimum 3 dates. I had to see if there was anything other than sex between us before I would proceed. With my current partner it was our 4th date.

However, I think there may be a grain of truth to this article. I have a perpetually single friend. She will go out on a first date that lasts 4-5 hours and winds up taking the guy home. She becomes convinced that this is the "one" because of this. They see each other for a month or two and then it falls apart. She cries for a couple of weeks and then the cycle begins again. I told her recently to stop "leading with your v" and see if these guys are compatible in other ways. She is currently in the sex haze with a guy she met last week. I'm just waiting for the inevitable...
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Old Today, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
4,213 posts, read 1,188,872 times
Reputation: 5987
My wife and I met when we worked at the same restaurant. The first time she put a ticket on the wheel, I fell head over heels in love. We made out right after work, had sex a day or two later, lived together for a year and were married exactly one year after we met. That was 1976 and she's sitting right beside me as I write this. Our relationship may not be by the books, but it works for us.
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Old Today, 08:04 AM
 
2,166 posts, read 598,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post
From personal experience, every situation is different.

I have been in relationships where we waited for many months before becoming intimate, yet after intimacy, it soon faded and we broke up. So waiting is no guarantee.

But I do get the notion behind it. This is why you see so many celebrity couples break up so quickly. Their relationship was based on nothing more than physical sparks, and once that was over there was nothing else of any real substance behind the coupling.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/long...160000563.html
Good point, everyone is different. I had a situation where I was intimate with a woman I was dating, make-out sessions and so on. She wasn't ready to sleep together, which was fine, but I found it kind of odd that she was prudish when it came to me talking innuendo with her. Usually if you're in the make-out stage of a relationship, heavy petting, etc. Very passionate, just outside the clothes kind of stuff...you'd think a woman would be open to talking a little naughty. We've been out plenty of times. A few of those times were at her place.

The next woman, claimed she has a libido of a 25 year old man...and she was 50. When I told her about the previous relationship she was like "Pshhh,...what a prude!"
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Old Today, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,995 posts, read 42,583,784 times
Reputation: 85065
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I wonder what time frame the author is imagining this? I think it's likely that teenagers married as virgins - an 18 year old girl and a 20 year old guy might have - but after that, no. It's true that no women except prostitutes (and they have always been plentiful) would willingly have sex with a man she didn't consider herself to be in a relationship with, but premarital sex has always been common. People just didn't announce it so vulgarly, and girls who had sex with several men indiscriminately were shamed - but the men or boys knew who they were (and so did the girls) and went to them for easy sex.
Maybe, but my older relatives (and former in-laws) all said that was why they got married so young ... because they were tired of waiting to have sex.
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Old Today, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
852 posts, read 273,719 times
Reputation: 1968
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I must be far older than you. I am guessing you are early high school. The idea of "bases" is something I have not heard of since then. Ohhh I touched her breast! How exciting! Titter titter. Giggle giggle.
Mid-40s, actually. I don't think high school kids say that any more.

And my post was meant somewhat in jest, but there is a sound principle behind it. 5 dates is sufficient time to weed out the ones who are just looking for a hook-up, and you should know after 5 dates whether the person you are seeing is someone you can see yourself in a long-term relationship with. If they are, there is no reason to put off escalating to a sexual relationship. If they are not, there is no reason to continue seeing them.
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Old Today, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,150 posts, read 3,892,056 times
Reputation: 20568
Many men walk if they don't get sex on the first date. That is fact and reality.
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Old Today, 01:11 PM
 
Location: S. FL (hell for me-wife loves it)
3,213 posts, read 2,034,637 times
Reputation: 9849
3rd date. I asked her to marry me on 2nd. 40 years later, still humming along. I could go on, even after all those years...
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