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Old Today, 03:23 AM
 
29 posts, read 2,044 times
Reputation: 20

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Quote:
Originally Posted by readrbuff2018 View Post
you are teaching her how to treat you. you allow her to treat you in this manner. hows that working for you? there are other people in this world that can and know how to treat another human being. I know im going on 60 yr old. I have been in normal relationships and have learned how to treat another human being.

you have one choice I see that is to leave her she isn't going to change and has done this in all her relationships how do I know? because I use to know someone just like her and watched it play out in her last relationship. if I didn't know any better I swear it is her lol
good luck finding a normal relationship and remember you allow her to do this to you.....
The part you are teaching her how to treat you is very true and noted. How she has been treating me is not working at all and thus the reason why I have full on talked to her about this stuff and told her it cannot continue.

It feels good to get advice from someone who knows the experience and I 100% agree
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Old Today, 03:25 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,006 posts, read 42,602,465 times
Reputation: 85083
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamPe View Post
Yes, I have been on the verge of dumping her multiple times. That lesson is very well known to me from past relationships. I do feel like she loves me. It is up to her to show it. If she is incapable then I will full hardheartedly admit I was wrong, but I am a very forgiving person even after being hurt because I believe in humanity.
How many more times do you plan to forgive her?

You’ve already forgiven what many people would consider dealbreakers. So what is your plan for when she falls back into her pattern?

When will you believe enough is enough?
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Old Today, 03:38 AM
 
5,072 posts, read 1,571,448 times
Reputation: 7065
Hello, William. I'm rather surprised by how much support you've received in this thread.

Frankly, I think you are way out of line for telling your girlfriend how she should express her love for you.

I also think she's correct that you're overly sensitive.
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Old Today, 03:49 AM
 
24 posts, read 8,570 times
Reputation: 50
thank you William im glad you were able to assend the important part of the text I sent to you. keep in touch and let me know how things have turned out for you. im interested to see if you do the thing that's most important for your piece and mind.
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Old Today, 03:58 AM
 
29 posts, read 2,044 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Hello, William. I'm rather surprised by how much support you've received in this thread.

Frankly, I think you are way out of line for telling your girlfriend how she should express her love for you.

I also think she's correct that you're overly sensitive.
Well any and all support is appreciated. I came here seeking it.

It is either me talking to her or not talking to her. There has been times where she doesn't show any love or care about us at all. These are the times I have tried to talk to her and problems occur.

I am a sensitive person, yes. Being overly sensitive? Not in my opinion. Being to sensitive, sensitive, and not sensitive enough is subjective depending on the person. What works and what doesn't work for me is what matters here and the question to me is if she is sensitive enough to fit my definition of love and if it is right for me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
How many more times do you plan to forgive her?

You’ve already forgiven what many people would consider dealbreakers. So what is your plan for when she falls back into her pattern?

When will you believe enough is enough?
I'm not sure how many more times I will forgive her, but as long at I have love and she is trying, I don't see it being an easy thing for me to give up on her.

Yes, many things she has done are absolute dealbreakers I would not have dealt with from anyone else. If she falls back into that pattern, I will try to talk to her again. If it is to bad I may have to do something then.

Enough would be enough when I reach the same point I reached yesterday and at the same time she isn't willing to put in any effort and/or show any care for our relationship.

Last edited by WilliamPe; Today at 04:08 AM..
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Old Today, 04:00 AM
 
29 posts, read 2,044 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by readrbuff2018 View Post
thank you William im glad you were able to assend the important part of the text I sent to you. keep in touch and let me know how things have turned out for you. im interested to see if you do the thing that's most important for your piece and mind.
Thank you. I will try to remember to let you know how things go.
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Old Today, 04:51 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
785 posts, read 161,565 times
Reputation: 1283
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Hello, William. I'm rather surprised by how much support you've received in this thread.

Frankly, I think you are way out of line for telling your girlfriend how she should express her love for you.

I also think she's correct that you're overly sensitive.
Redplum33 you seem to enjoy wading into threads where everyone is being constructive & helpful, and throwing out often quite harsh advice that differs from the consensus...just to be contrary

William's girlfriend is abusive and has a lot of issues, and she is the one who is clearly out of line - not him.
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Old Today, 04:52 AM
 
5,072 posts, read 1,571,448 times
Reputation: 7065
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamPe View Post
Well any and all support is appreciated. I came here seeking it.

It is either me talking to her or not talking to her. There has been times where she doesn't show any love or care about us at all. These are the times I have tried to talk to her and problems occur.

I am a sensitive person, yes. Being overly sensitive? Not in my opinion. Being to sensitive, sensitive, and not sensitive enough is subjective depending on the person. What works and what doesn't work for me is what matters here and the question to me is if she is sensitive enough to fit my definition of love and if it is right for me.
William, in a healthy relationship, it's not just about what works for one person.

You are essentially trying to train her as if she's a puppy.

Not everybody shows their emotions the same way. You can't force her to do something that she's not comfortable with - in order to satisfy your need for control. And that's what this is really about...your control issues.
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Old Today, 05:09 AM
 
29 posts, read 2,044 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
William, in a healthy relationship, it's not just about what works for one person.

You are essentially trying to train her as if she's a puppy.

Not everybody shows their emotions the same way. You can't force her to do something that she's not comfortable with - in order to satisfy your need for control. And that's what this is really about...your control issues.
I respect her as being a human with feelings just as I am. No less.

There are no control issues. That is rather judgmental to say. I have talked to her about it and at this point she can either take it seriously and decide if it is within her or she can decide it isn't. Again, I'm not and have not been forcing anything.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Redplum33 you seem to enjoy wading into threads where everyone is being constructive & helpful, and throwing out often quite harsh advice that differs from the consensus...just to be contrary

William's girlfriend is abusive and has a lot of issues, and she is the one who is clearly out of line - not him.
I have a feeling that maybe he is only here to stir up drama within the thread which I feel there is no need for.

Thank you. This guy isn't worth my attention.

Last edited by WilliamPe; Today at 06:19 AM..
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Old Today, 05:09 AM
 
7,844 posts, read 3,080,335 times
Reputation: 12959
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
Redplum33 you seem to enjoy wading into threads where everyone is being constructive & helpful, and throwing out often quite harsh advice that differs from the consensus...just to be contrary

William's girlfriend is abusive and has a lot of issues, and she is the one who is clearly out of line - not him.
Actually...When I read the thread I just wanted to know why she needed $1200 and if he was paying for all of the airfare. It does seem that she (gf) may get defensive because he comes up with what she’s doing wrong all the time after a while, that would get old too.

At the beginning of a relationship the 2 people try to decide if they’re a good fit, then move on from there. It doesn’t sound like they are, and from the way OP has laid it out, he consistently lets her know she’s not behaving the way he wants her to. “You aren’t acting loving”. If I was her I wouldn’t feel so great either.

So now the get to know you time is over, and OP has found she isn’t the kind of person who’s communication style makes him happy. Does he just continue to express to her how unhappy she makes him?
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