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Old 08-25-2019, 10:40 PM
 
211 posts, read 42,738 times
Reputation: 439

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Op, you're a 30 year old man. This thread really could have been written by a 14 year old junior high school student. No words bro! Use your deductive reasoning from 30 years of life experience to figure out what "take it slow means".
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Old 08-25-2019, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Decatur, GA
198 posts, read 623,001 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by PardonTheInterruption View Post
Op, you're a 30 year old man. This thread really could have been written by a 14 year old junior high school student. No words bro! Use your deductive reasoning from 30 years of life experience to figure out what "take it slow means".
I know what it means, but I just wanted to see what you all thought about it just from other prospectives/views.
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Old Yesterday, 04:02 AM
 
12,402 posts, read 13,719,402 times
Reputation: 14481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antwuan View Post
I just wanted to see what you all thought about the situation & what she really mean’t by taking things slow.
Mod cut.

Why would you ask her those things?

I think she was all in until you planned a date for sex. Then she nicely said um, lets take it slow.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Yesterday at 12:09 PM.. Reason: Rude.
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Old Yesterday, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,606 posts, read 7,925,541 times
Reputation: 16209
I don't see that she agreed to have sex with you. Even if she did, she's backed off that now. That's what "I want to take it slow means" -- NO SEX.

I'd be remiss if I didn't add that you should never date co-workers. Read all the posts here about why that's such a bad idea. Is it even permitted by your employer?
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Old Yesterday, 07:33 AM
 
4,370 posts, read 3,272,503 times
Reputation: 7427
I think she was astonished by your abrupt proposal of sex on the next date. Dude, your comment to her was rude--a complete turn off. You are moving too fast.

I would guess from her reaction that she is looking to be more than a booty call.

I think it would be a good idea to work on getting to know each other to see if you even like one another. Just treat her like a human being instead of a piece of meat. Sheesh!
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Old Yesterday, 07:39 AM
 
7,075 posts, read 2,556,862 times
Reputation: 16194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antwuan View Post
I just wanted to see what you all thought about the situation & what she really meanít by taking things slow.

I think she's trying to tell you that she'd rather you didn't jump her bones the next time you see each other.


I think she would EVENTUALLY like a sexual relationship, but she'd like an idea of you liking HER...not just her vagina.
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Old Yesterday, 09:07 AM
 
7,075 posts, read 2,556,862 times
Reputation: 16194
Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.


You know...given that he's young, and given that we live in a "Me Too" world...I can see how it's hard to navigate communicating sexual desire and making sure the other person is agreeable.


OP's approach was...awkward and kind of weird...but hey, he asked first...and it's a new world out there these days. I give him credit for trying to do the right thing.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Yesterday at 12:16 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,767 posts, read 33,694,685 times
Reputation: 32620
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antwuan View Post
Ok I’m talking to a new Female very pretty woman different from the other females I recently talked about, she’s not a Arizona woman in fact she stays right down the street from me. Technically she’s not that new because she was a coworker of mine from like April or May until July of this year, but things are starting to pickup as if she’s new to me. Ok I’m about to give you all the story & let you all know where I’m at with her, she’s 25 (F) I’m 30, on July 6th (Saturday) I asked her for her number at work & she gave it to me. She told me she had been wondering if I were ever going to ask her for her number, I told her eventually I was going to. Also everyday up until July 6th I would just say “Hey” to her, yes there were conversations occasionally in between time but mostly I would just say “Hey” and she told me that she always thought I had a crush on her which I told her that’s true. So on July 6th I texted her immediately that night, she wanted me to so she could code my name in her phone that’s what happened on that day/night. Ever since July 6th We’ve been texting each other & we had our 1st date on August 22nd (This Past Thursday). On August 23rd I told her I’d like to make something happen with her sexually if it was ok with her the next time we chill because technically we did chill but it was at another coworker’s place (Female) & we had already been talking about chilling with each other (alone) just have to find time alone (that’s what she told me) & she agreed. Today I asked what she thought about me because I was just curious & just wondering, she said she really likes me, she just wanna take things slow & do them right.

Questions:

When I see her again or chill should I back off a little and not flirt too much to lead to sex even though she agreed to the sex? Just take it slow?

What do you think she mean’t by taking it slow? Because when I 1st saw her message I thought she was referring to a relationship.

What are your thoughts on everything I just said about where I stand with her?
Mod cut. I will offer the most clear and concise interpretation of her statement. She wants to get to know you a little better before the wild thing happens. She likes you but wants to build a relationship before getting busy. Don’t push her and she will eventually feel comfortable enough to get busy.

Mod cut.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Yesterday at 12:04 PM.. Reason: Off-topic.
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Old Yesterday, 09:25 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,359 posts, read 71,648,568 times
Reputation: 77696
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80;
I would guess from her reaction that she is looking to be more than a booty call.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I think she's trying to tell you that she'd rather you didn't jump her bones the next time you see each other.


I think she would EVENTUALLY like a sexual relationship, but she'd like an idea of you liking HER...not just her vagina.
OP, you have no idea how angry, frustrated, and disappointed many women get, when guys express no interest in who the women are, and instead, are over-eager to cut to the chase, so to speak.

Do you know much about her at all, except whatever skills she displayed in the work environment, and whatever superficial conversation you had on Date 1? Do you know anything about her goals in life, her hobby interests, her talents, the quality of her family relationships and where she's from, and her values? If not, why not? Oh, you didn't think to ask? Well, she's waiting for you to ask. That's one thing "taking it slow" comprises.

You're lucky she didn't cut you off entirely. That, at least shows she's interested in you to some degree. Don't mess it up, now that she's giving you another chance. You're teetering on the edge, OP. Watch your step.
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Old Yesterday, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Decatur, GA
198 posts, read 623,001 times
Reputation: 80
After she said she wanna take things so slow with me yesterday I replied with Understandable.

I’m actually texting her right now, should I tell her that I’m willing to take things slow & not pressure her into anything?
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