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Old Yesterday, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,049 posts, read 42,618,966 times
Reputation: 85177

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antwuan View Post
After she said she wanna take things so slow with me yesterday I replied with Understandable.

I知 actually texting her right now, should I tell her that I知 willing to take things slow & not pressure her into anything?
I wouldn't. You've already said that, right?

Just be normal and talk about fun stuff. Tell her to have a good day, etc.

Have you made plans for the next date?
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Old Yesterday, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Decatur, GA
199 posts, read 623,001 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I wouldn't. You've already said that, right?

Just be normal and talk about fun stuff. Tell her to have a good day, etc.

Have you made plans for the next date?
We have made some plans but no official date yet, I知 waiting to see which day she痴 free.
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Old Yesterday, 10:52 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,376 posts, read 71,648,568 times
Reputation: 77752
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antwuan View Post
After she said she wanna take things so slow with me yesterday I replied with Understandable.

I知 actually texting her right now, should I tell her that I知 willing to take things slow & not pressure her into anything?
You already said "understandable". That communicates the same thing, basically. Don't belabor the point, or it could come off weird, like you're over-compensating for privately thinking you did want to pressure her into something.
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Old Yesterday, 11:03 AM
 
13,139 posts, read 10,140,192 times
Reputation: 16644
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
You know...given that he's young, and given that we live in a "Me Too" world...I can see how it's hard to navigate communicating sexual desire and making sure the other person is agreeable.


OP's approach was...awkward and kind of weird...but hey, he asked first...and it's a new world out there these days. I give him credit for trying to do the right thing.
It infuriates me to have metoo used as a tool to excuse idiocy. OP of course is seeking consent. Which is great. But for heaven's sake should not be noteworthy.
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Old Today, 12:33 AM
 
904 posts, read 482,531 times
Reputation: 869
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
It infuriates me to have metoo used as a tool to excuse idiocy. OP of course is seeking consent. Which is great. But for heaven's sake should not be noteworthy.
Disagreed. Consent is noteworthy. Any foreplay or sexual intercourse should be consensual. Period.
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Old Today, 04:37 AM
 
13,139 posts, read 10,140,192 times
Reputation: 16644
Quote:
Originally Posted by rya96797 View Post
Disagreed. Consent is noteworthy. Any foreplay or sexual intercourse should be consensual. Period.
It shouldn't be noteworthy. It should be the way it is done.
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Old Today, 06:03 AM
 
Location: Continental Europe
800 posts, read 163,800 times
Reputation: 1297
If someone told me they wanted to set something sexual up with me before we'd gone on a first date I'd be assuming he only wants me for my body and would be a bit wary. If you're genuinely interested in this woman you need to tone it right down and go at a slower pace, don't mention sex again until she is ready to move things in that direction.
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Old Today, 07:21 AM
 
7,094 posts, read 2,556,862 times
Reputation: 16254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antwuan View Post
After she said she wanna take things so slow with me yesterday I replied with Understandable.

I知 actually texting her right now, should I tell her that I知 willing to take things slow & not pressure her into anything?

I wouldn't. Show her by your actions. Get to know her. Let her get comfortable with you.
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Old Today, 07:26 AM
 
7,094 posts, read 2,556,862 times
Reputation: 16254
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
It infuriates me to have metoo used as a tool to excuse idiocy. OP of course is seeking consent. Which is great. But for heaven's sake should not be noteworthy.

I don't think I said it was noteworthy. I think him asking is better than him shoving his hand down her pants the first time he kisses her.


I think it's better than trying to take her bra off after the end of their first date.


As I stated, he's young. Being young, it's harder to read body language, and gauging the level of desire in a woman. Someday, he'll be smoother, probably. But hey, he sounds like a decent young man, trying to do the right thing. I WILL give props for that.
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Old Today, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,049 posts, read 42,618,966 times
Reputation: 85177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post

As I stated, he's young. Being young, it's harder to read body language, and gauging the level of desire in a woman. Someday, he'll be smoother, probably. But hey, he sounds like a decent young man, trying to do the right thing. I WILL give props for that.
He IS 30, though, which, while young relative to many of us here, is plenty old enough to know NOT to waste almost 2 months texting "hey" to a woman and then blurting out "I wanna make something happen with you sexually..." the day after their first date.

I don't think he's a bad guy by any means, but his most recent experience was with FWB and I think his statement was much more about intent than consent.
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