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Old 08-26-2019, 06:23 PM
 
3,263 posts, read 1,632,412 times
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You are not delusional. It is difficult to tell when you are in a bad relationship even when there is no cheating going on. The cheating actually drew the line for you when you couldn't draw the line for other red flags.
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:40 AM
 
906 posts, read 484,556 times
Reputation: 879
you feel great because subconsciously you wanted to break up with her because deep down you knew things weren't right. now you're relieved because she blew up the relationship and you wont have any guilt from hurting her feelings for dumping her. You can walk away with a clear conscience, while she will carry her infidelity with her for the rest of her life (i'm guessing not her first).
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:49 AM
 
13,175 posts, read 10,145,543 times
Reputation: 16668
YAYYYYY! You go, boy.
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:17 AM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43
Thank you everyone for your responses. I am feeling great and looking forward to the future.

Her mother texted me last night telling me that she is sorry that our relationship didn't work. Her mother loves me. She was supposed to come visit us during the week end and we were supposed to hang out with her. She told me even though me her daughter broke up, she would love to have coffee with me but if i don't want to she'll understand. I told her that I don't know if I can and also I'd rather not see her daughter. This is when I found out that she didn't tell her mom what she did. she only told her that things didn't work out. As much as I wanted to tell her mom (her mom and I are really good friends), I couldn't. I couldn't tell her that her daughter is a terrible person. She kept insisting on knowing what happened but I just told her that her daughter will tell her when she is ready.
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:15 PM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43
Also, I met a girl randomly last night when I went to a bar with some friends. She is visiting from another country and is here for a month. She is asked me out and she said that she just wants to have fun, nothing serious. And I don't want any serious either. Is it too soon?
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:44 PM
 
6,457 posts, read 3,002,271 times
Reputation: 16459
Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
You are not delusional. It is difficult to tell when you are in a bad relationship even when there is no cheating going on. The cheating actually drew the line for you when you couldn't draw the line for other red flags.
Let's put this on rational perspective. The gf DID NOT cheat on him . She was though being flirty with another person.
I do not advocate for this gals methods yet I cannot say she was exhibiting infidelity .

As for the OP being free at last ...free at last, thank God above I'm free at least. Notion. I give props that he is moving into some clear retrospect thinking and his part in the decision to break it off.
Well handled I might say.

No I wouldn't encourage rebound dating or the "get back on the horse" attitude. More often a reprieve...(yes even from the gee they just wanna have fun.)...is a wiser road to walk.
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:49 PM
 
7,124 posts, read 2,561,532 times
Reputation: 16302
Quote:
Originally Posted by leboss12345 View Post
Hello Everyone,

I already wrote about my situation before in several posts. My last post was about me breaking up with girlfriend. Long story short, she told me that she had a crush on someone. I asked her before if she liked him and she would say no, its just a friendship. She lied to me and I decided to end to relationship ( with the help with a lot of people here who gave me so much advice, especially BirdieBelle).

Anyways, she kept contacting me and telling me that she loves me and she wants to work on our relationship. She said she was going to stop talking to him. However, I kept telling her that we are over and we should both move on. I wanted to block her so I can just move on but I couldn't do it. She said that she is going to prove to me how much she loves me and all that. Anyways, a week goes by. She calls me saturday morning as I was sleeping and I answered. She told me that she cheated on me ( she thought we were still together even though we broke up). She told me that she went out with a couple of friends and the guy that she had a crush on was there. She told me that she got drunk and told him that she has a crush on him but she wants to work on her relationship with me. she told me that he kissed her and she stopped it.

I told her that they deserve each other. I hung up on her and she kept texting me. I didn't respond but then I ended the conversation by saying " If you have any decency left in you, you would stop talking to me". Well I think that got to her cause she stopped. Its only been 2 days but I actually feel great. I don't know why. I feel like i'm free again. When we broke up, I cried so much and I was so sad. However, now I don't feel sad. I'm actually excited for my future. I keep thinking about my goals and my plans. The thought of them kissing comes back to me when I see something that reminds me of it but it doesn't make me angry or sad.

Am I being delusional? Or is this normal?

You feel great because you took charge of the situation. You took action. You didn't let things just happen. Good for you!
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:31 PM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Let's put this on rational perspective. The gf DID NOT cheat on him . She was though being flirty with another person.
I do not advocate for this gals methods yet I cannot say she was exhibiting infidelity .

As for the OP being free at last ...free at last, thank God above I'm free at least. Notion. I give props that he is moving into some clear retrospect thinking and his part in the decision to break it off.
Well handled I might say.

No I wouldn't encourage rebound dating or the "get back on the horse" attitude. More often a reprieve...(yes even from the gee they just wanna have fun.)...is a wiser road to walk.
I never said that she is cheated on me. That is why I put cheating on quotation marks. She is the one who said that she cheated on me. And like everyone said, her kissing him, just made me draw the line. And I don't think she feels or will feel the guilt of cheating on me, she plays the victim all the time and makes people feel bad for her. At this point, I don't care. I dodged a BULLET.

I understand your point regarding going out with this girl even though she just wants to have fun. Honestly, I've been debating it and that's why I want to get everyone thoughts on it.
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:36 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,197 posts, read 13,054,725 times
Reputation: 31707
Quote:
Originally Posted by leboss12345 View Post
Thank you everyone for your responses. I am feeling great and looking forward to the future.

Her mother texted me last night telling me that she is sorry that our relationship didn't work. Her mother loves me. She was supposed to come visit us during the week end and we were supposed to hang out with her. She told me even though me her daughter broke up, she would love to have coffee with me but if i don't want to she'll understand. I told her that I don't know if I can and also I'd rather not see her daughter. This is when I found out that she didn't tell her mom what she did. she only told her that things didn't work out. As much as I wanted to tell her mom (her mom and I are really good friends), I couldn't. I couldn't tell her that her daughter is a terrible person. She kept insisting on knowing what happened but I just told her that her daughter will tell her when she is ready.
Please don't stay in contact with her family or friends. If you meet someone new, they won't like that and it's not fair. And there really is absolutely no reason to be in contact with her mom (who will try to talk you into making up with her daughter). Cut the cord.
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:41 PM
 
32 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Please don't stay in contact with her family or friends. If you meet someone new, they won't like that and it's not fair. And there really is absolutely no reason to be in contact with her mom (who will try to talk you into making up with her daughter). Cut the cord.
I agree. I was very honest with her mom because we are close. I told her that my relationship with her daughter ending also means that we can't stay friends. I thanked her for everything she did for me and for welcoming me into her family and that I wish her daughter the best.
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