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Old Yesterday, 04:24 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,779 posts, read 40,354,001 times
Reputation: 42203

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Quote:
Originally Posted by maiden_fern View Post
LOL@ "A friend gave them to me." She's adorable.
That was my first thought too. Who just goes around handing out cigs to people?? I think for me it would be a deal breaker. I hate being around cigarette smoke. I was raised with two people that smoked like a chimney and since I've been an adult on my own I really realized I just can't stand the smell of it. It saturates everything in a smokers house. The MIL is a smoker and every time we visit with her the next day the clothes all stink, it's in your hair, it's just gross. Of all of the bad habits I have I'm glad that smoking isn't one of them.

The OP should just ask her flat out I suppose? No other way to really know for sure.
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Old Yesterday, 04:25 PM
 
31 posts, read 6,251 times
Reputation: 40
Would you be fine with vaping? just curious.
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Old Yesterday, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Florida
20,042 posts, read 20,144,236 times
Reputation: 23555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Ok, if that makes you feel better. But often than not.... it is trmore ue.
I do agree , more often than not, 'you' will smell it. But the 'not , does not help the OP.
He will, eventually, so has to make a decision now.
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Old Yesterday, 04:43 PM
 
4,212 posts, read 1,811,906 times
Reputation: 8580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
That was my first thought too. Who just goes around handing out cigs to people?? I think for me it would be a deal breaker. I hate being around cigarette smoke. I was raised with two people that smoked like a chimney and since I've been an adult on my own I really realized I just can't stand the smell of it. It saturates everything in a smokers house. The MIL is a smoker and every time we visit with her the next day the clothes all stink, it's in your hair, it's just gross. Of all of the bad habits I have I'm glad that smoking isn't one of them.

The OP should just ask her flat out I suppose? No other way to really know for sure.
Yeah, especially these days where in most states they are $7 a pack minimum and in some areas over $10 a pack. Do people just go around handing out $5 or $10 bills freely? Many people only smoke outside their house if they do smoke, so if you go inside, you might not smell it.
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Old Yesterday, 06:36 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,629 posts, read 3,189,620 times
Reputation: 25834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
If she says she is unwilling to quit, I would be hurt quite a bit as I do like her. This is the outcome I am most worried about.
TBH, it will hurt more the longer you don't deal with it. If this truly is a dealbreaker for you (regardless what the reason behind that is) you need to ask her if she smokes and express regret at not being clearer about it before. Honesty shouldn't make anyone feel badly, but it may provide relief. The need to keep secrets isn't a good basis for anything lasting. If she felt she must fib about where the cigarettes came from that's not a good sign.
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Old Yesterday, 06:49 PM
 
13,410 posts, read 25,765,214 times
Reputation: 20817
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
Either accept she’s a smoker or tell her you can no longer date her because she smokes and ask her if she’s willing to quit and keep dating you

I am terribly sensitive to cigarette smoke. I know several fine men who smoke as a holdover from their blue-collar beginnings or their emotional issues. If they are considerate, I'm fine with it. I wouldn't want to lose their friendship or whatever because of the habit. I would date a considerate smoker.
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Old Yesterday, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
15,393 posts, read 17,920,955 times
Reputation: 10768
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
Am really surprised I couldn't smell it the first few times I visited. Even a cigarette or two would leave some sort of smell you'd think. I'll ask her about it tomorrow.

Does she cough a lot? Explain to her if she is smoking, there is a good chance she could end up with COPD, or lung cancer.
Tell her you are concerned for her health. You want her to live a long life.
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Old Yesterday, 07:08 PM
 
5,647 posts, read 2,451,813 times
Reputation: 15667
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawk J View Post
Does she cough a lot? Explain to her if she is smoking, there is a good chance she could end up with COPD, or lung cancer.
Tell her you are concerned for her health. You want her to live a long life.
Seriously? Just no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
I'm still processing "I froze when I saw them".
Omg thissssssss.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fifty Seven View Post
Well to be fair, they were sitting right next to her MAGA hat.
BWAHAHAHAHA.

For Christ's sake she's a possible smoker, not an axe murderer.

Ask her...then please leave her. She doesn't need a sermon on health and how you grew up without blah blah blah...
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Old Yesterday, 07:22 PM
 
Location: California
1,613 posts, read 465,434 times
Reputation: 2854
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
I've been out on 9 dates with this girl I met on an online dating site. It was my fault but I didn't ask her on the first date whether she was a smoker or not. I have visited the place she has been living on half of the dates and there were no indications that she was a smoker. She doesn't smell of cigarettes when I am close to her, even kissing I don't pickup anything.



On our last date I went back to hers again. As I entered the front door I could distinctly smell cigarettes. When I went to sit by the coffee table I saw a packet of cigarettes. At this point my mind kind of froze, I wasn't sure what to do. I casually asked if the cigarettes were hers and she said her friend give them to her.



I've never before mentioned to her my dislike of smoking or mentioned anything to do with smoking. I assumed she wasn't a smoker and so didn't bring anything up, this was so stupid of me.



I like her quite a bit and I will be seeing her again soon. How should I handle this situation?
This would be a deal breaker for me. Yes I too never smoked and can smell it a mile away. My dad was an extremely heavy smoker and everything in our house growing up reeked of it. The windows and walls were tinged yellow. Ashtrays were full constantly and my job was to empty them. The whole thing disgusted me and I was a kid.
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Old Yesterday, 07:58 PM
 
5,086 posts, read 1,577,637 times
Reputation: 7088
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
If she says she is unwilling to quit, I would be hurt quite a bit as I do like her.
Truth be told, I'm hoping she shows you the door when you bring this up.

I don't feel it's your place, and I find it disgusting when people treat smokers as if they're second-class citizens.
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