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Old Yesterday, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
4,138 posts, read 7,434,188 times
Reputation: 6140

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Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Truth be told, I'm hoping she shows you the door when you bring this up.

I don't feel it's your place, and I find it disgusting when people treat smokers as if they're second-class citizens.
I think the only sin the OP has committed is not ascertaining her smoking status at the beginning of the relationship.

I would simply tell her that smoking is a deal breaker, and you take responsibility for not checking at the very beginning. I wouldn’t even bring up the “will you quit?” subject.

Your disappointment in losing a promising relationship is this semester’s tuition in the School of Hard Knocks, and I bet you won’t make that mistake again.
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Old Yesterday, 09:38 PM
 
5,649 posts, read 2,451,813 times
Reputation: 15667
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Truth be told, I'm hoping she shows you the door when you bring this up.

I don't feel it's your place, and I find it disgusting when people treat smokers as if they're second-class citizens.
This.

I love the "it's a dealbreaker" people...I guarantee these same people have a 101 somethings that's are major dealbreakers for others.

It's dating. Not marriage. Chill. She didn't smoke near him or smell like it. It was fine before all this nonsense. Anyway the OP has posted about serious dating issues...he should consider ALL people.

Last edited by LLCNYC; Yesterday at 09:55 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 09:51 PM
 
7,860 posts, read 3,085,657 times
Reputation: 13000
Yeah, I got a kick out of the : ”I froze when I saw that pack of cigarettes” too. As if we ALL see it as the same as a hypodermic needle, or hand gun laying about with the safety off.

Guess what OP? I kind of froze when I saw that “Domestic disturbance” or “violation of restraint order”. Out of curiosity I did ask anyway, but not really the same thing. Smoking is legal right? If you don’t like it that’s fine... so just ask. For me that’s the same as -I don’t want to hear that a guy likes to spend his free time icefishing in the winter, all winter, or watching NASCAR on the weekends, either. Not something I feel like dealing with, so I just say so and do my own thing, IF it’s worth it.
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Old Yesterday, 09:56 PM
 
5,649 posts, read 2,451,813 times
Reputation: 15667
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Yeah, I got a kick out of the : ”I froze when I saw that pack of cigarettes” too. As if we ALL see it as the same as a hypodermic needle, or hand gun laying about with the safety off.

Guess what OP? I kind of froze when I saw that “Domestic disturbance” or “violation of restraint order”. Out of curiosity I did ask anyway, but not really the same thing. Smoking is legal right? If you don’t like it that’s fine... so just ask. For me that’s the same as -I don’t want to hear that a guy likes to spend his free time icefishing in the winter, all winter, or watching NASCAR on the weekends, either. Not something I feel like dealing with, so I just say so and do my own thing, IF it’s worth it.
Like.
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Old Today, 12:34 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,965 posts, read 7,609,040 times
Reputation: 7807
Always amazes me how this type of post goes multi page, particularly after the OP's dilemma was solved after about a half dozen posts
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Old Today, 12:50 AM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
7,134 posts, read 3,973,572 times
Reputation: 17138
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
Always amazes me how this type of post goes multi page, particularly after the OP's dilemma was solved after about a half dozen posts
And you helped!
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Old Today, 06:51 AM
 
1,102 posts, read 690,235 times
Reputation: 3400
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
Always amazes me how this type of post goes multi page, particularly after the OP's dilemma was solved after about a half dozen posts
Mine was the third answer posted and I told him exactly what he needed to do but he ignored me. Oh well. He can continue wringing his hands over it and freaking out but it's a common sense thing which, clearly not everyone has developed in their life, even at his age.
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Old Today, 07:00 AM
 
5,430 posts, read 2,900,204 times
Reputation: 9901
The nerve of people.. I don’t like cigarettes either but I wouldn’t ask someone else to quit or stop after a few dates because of my preferences.
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Old Today, 07:02 AM
 
1,269 posts, read 550,206 times
Reputation: 2311
if she smokes, she pokes
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Old Today, 07:16 AM
 
7,115 posts, read 2,561,532 times
Reputation: 16264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Smokers..( like cat owners) are often nose blind to just how much they stink.

Might be. However, what I said was "People (that implies not just me) often tell me they can't smell it on me."
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