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Old 08-28-2019, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Continental Europe
946 posts, read 190,221 times
Reputation: 1549

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Smokers..( like cat owners) are often nose blind to just how much they stink.
Nah, it's not the cat owners who smell, it's the dog owners Joking. Only people who have very old, incontinent cats tend to have smelly houses.
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Old 08-28-2019, 04:02 PM
 
Location: NY
6 posts, read 1,021 times
Reputation: 10
Default to my own view

i think you should confront her and let her know what you like and what you don't like and i think if she really want to make this work she would definitely stop smoking.
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Old 08-28-2019, 05:20 PM
 
5,185 posts, read 1,599,121 times
Reputation: 7159
Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Girl View Post
Ridiculous. No one is treating anyone like a "second class citizen" just because smoking is a dealbreaker for dating. If someone wants to engage in a dangerous self-destructive habit that's not only bad for them but also everyone around them, fine. Just don't expect to be respected for it.



..And??? What kind of point is this? That people should have zero standards ever because none of us are perfect?

I'm sure I have many dealbreakers for other people. WE ALL DO. So what? What does that have to do with the standards and boundaries I set for myself? And WHY would I want to date anyone who didn't approve of something about me???



You guys act like we'd be asking the person to stop seeing their family or give up a beloved hobby. It's asking them to stop poisoning themselves and driving themselves into an early grave. THE HORROR.

Please. A lot of smokers desperately want to quit anyway. This is not asking too much of a person. And it's not demanding anything either. It's simply telling them that you'd be willing to continue dating if smoking was no longer an issue. There's NOTHING wrong with that, and if you'd be insulted by that, I don't know how you'd expect to have a relationship. Anyone who loves you is going to care about you and not want to watch you die of a terrible disease. What horrible self-righteous jerks we are right? So sorry. Continue killing yourselves.

Honestly screw smokers. I've watched people I love die of cancer. To selfishlessly and carelessly bring that upon yourself and your loved ones simply because you can't control yourself and your had habits is disgusting. It's not worthy of respect.



Nope. Anyone who truly loved me would not put my health at risk. Smokers don't even love themselves.



The redemption is quitting.

Sorry to see some of you guys don't take the risks of smoking seriously. I pray you never have to watch someone you love die struggling to breathe.
That_One_Girl, it is clear that you don't understand addiction.
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Old 08-28-2019, 05:23 PM
 
5,185 posts, read 1,599,121 times
Reputation: 7159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gamblor View Post
I spoke to her tonight. She said that she started smoking two months ago as a stress release from the split from her ex and stress from completing her dissertation. This in a way does corroborate why I was unable to tell she was a smoker for the first dates. She said she has smoked about a pack in the 2 months and is in possession of another pack that a friend gave her (what a ****ty friend). I made it clear I wouldn't force her to quit and I would support her if she were to make the decision by herself. She said she will quit as she feels she doesn't have an addiction. I can only trust and stand by her now.
That was very nice of you.
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Old 08-28-2019, 06:13 PM
 
10,558 posts, read 12,506,665 times
Reputation: 14845
I'd tell her she can smoke all she wants after sex..........as your driving away!

or

You could check her intelligence: Tell her Ike Turner helped Tina Turner quit, did she want help?
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Old 08-28-2019, 06:28 PM
 
Location: California
1,000 posts, read 279,387 times
Reputation: 2880
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
That_One_Girl, it is clear that you don't understand addiction.
Right. Because no one has ever quit smoking before.

I understand addiction quite well. A human being can overcome it. It takes work and self-development and there will likely be slip ups along the way. But with effort, it can be overcome. Lots of people do it.
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Old 08-28-2019, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,323 posts, read 8,748,065 times
Reputation: 35989
Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Girl View Post
Right. Because no one has ever quit smoking before.

I understand addiction quite well. A human being can overcome it. It takes work and self-development and there will likely be slip ups along the way. But with effort, it can be overcome. Lots of people do it.
So true - and it's the good, mature, and morally superior people who are most successful.

BTW, I smoked for 10 years and quit almost 30 year ago - I don't hold it over anyone's head and don't really understand how people who have experienced the difficulty have so little empathy for others.
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Old 08-28-2019, 06:52 PM
 
5,185 posts, read 1,599,121 times
Reputation: 7159
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
That_One_Girl, it is clear that you don't understand addiction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Girl View Post
Right. Because no one has ever quit smoking before.

I understand addiction quite well. A human being can overcome it. It takes work and self-development and there will likely be slip ups along the way. But with effort, it can be overcome. Lots of people do it.
It's not the same for everyone.

Someone that is able to quit is not necessarily strong. And someone that is unable to quit is not necessarily weak.
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Old 08-28-2019, 06:59 PM
 
7,918 posts, read 3,103,413 times
Reputation: 13117
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
It's not the same for everyone.

Someone that is able to quit is not necessarily strong. And someone that is unable to quit is not necessarily weak.
Agreed, and there are those that do not want to, and there are closet smokers. Iíve been around the block enough to know that if you tell them you donít like smoking, they will tell you they donít like criticism and so, get going. They really donít want to bother you anymore than you want to be bothered.

Iíve said before, there are people who smell worse to me than smokers, I donít go and insult them, either.
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Old 08-28-2019, 07:39 PM
 
5,185 posts, read 1,599,121 times
Reputation: 7159
I'll also add that the health concerns for the smoker are often disingenuous. Most people saying that stuff just don't want the cigarette smell around them.
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