U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old Today, 12:50 PM
 
12 posts, read 5,282 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

I've been out on 9 dates with this girl I met on an online dating site. It was my fault but I didn't ask her on the first date whether she was a smoker or not. I have visited the place she has been living on half of the dates and there were no indications that she was a smoker. She doesn't smell of cigarettes when I am close to her, even kissing I don't pickup anything.



On our last date I went back to hers again. As I entered the front door I could distinctly smell cigarettes. When I went to sit by the coffee table I saw a packet of cigarettes. At this point my mind kind of froze, I wasn't sure what to do. I casually asked if the cigarettes were hers and she said her friend give them to her.



I've never before mentioned to her my dislike of smoking or mentioned anything to do with smoking. I assumed she wasn't a smoker and so didn't bring anything up, this was so stupid of me.



I like her quite a bit and I will be seeing her again soon. How should I handle this situation?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Today, 12:52 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,676 posts, read 56,515,989 times
Reputation: 91048
Ask her if SHE smokes and tell her what you think about...
__________________
.
"No Copyrighted Material"
Moderated forums:
World, Europe, Texas, Corpus Christi, El Paso, Lubbock, Tyler, Houston, San Antonio, Tallahassee, Macon, Duluth, Fish, Home Interior Design and Decorating, Science and Technology Forums
.

Need help? Click on this: >>> ToS, Mod List, Rules & FAQ's, Guide, CD Home page, How to Search
Realtors are welcome here but do see our Realtor Advice to avoid infractions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:56 PM
 
Location: X marks the spot
735 posts, read 248,826 times
Reputation: 1278
LOL@ "A friend gave them to me." She's adorable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 12:57 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 689,534 times
Reputation: 3387
Dude, seriously. Just ask her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 01:03 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,676 posts, read 56,515,989 times
Reputation: 91048
Quote:
Originally Posted by maiden_fern View Post
LOL@ "A friend gave them to me." She's adorable.
Sounds like a High School, no?
__________________
.
"No Copyrighted Material"
Moderated forums:
World, Europe, Texas, Corpus Christi, El Paso, Lubbock, Tyler, Houston, San Antonio, Tallahassee, Macon, Duluth, Fish, Home Interior Design and Decorating, Science and Technology Forums
.

Need help? Click on this: >>> ToS, Mod List, Rules & FAQ's, Guide, CD Home page, How to Search
Realtors are welcome here but do see our Realtor Advice to avoid infractions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 01:29 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,194 posts, read 13,050,883 times
Reputation: 31697
It's not how it looks like!
They magically appeared!


Maybe she had a visitor who smoked, aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 01:32 PM
 
Location: California
987 posts, read 269,482 times
Reputation: 2784
Just tell her what you've told us. You assumed she wasn't a smoker. Admit that was a mistake. Then politely tell her that smoking is a dealbreaker for you.

I once had a guy quit smoking for me. To be fair, he started vaping instead, which was pretty annoying too. It bothered me less than the smoking though, and at least he made the effort. My point is she might be willing to quit. You won't know if you don't ask.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 01:40 PM
 
12 posts, read 5,282 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Girl View Post
Just tell her what you've told us. You assumed she wasn't a smoker. Admit that was a mistake. Then politely tell her that smoking is a dealbreaker for you.

I once had a guy quit smoking for me. To be fair, he started vaping instead, which was pretty annoying too. It bothered me less than the smoking though, and at least he made the effort. My point is she might be willing to quit. You won't know if you don't ask.

I will tell her what I have said in my OP. The thing is, if she is a smoker it is a choice that she has made. I dont know if she smokes once a week or 2 packs a day but its something she has chosen to do. I will never ask her to quit smoking for me as that would be unfair, I will be telling her how to live her life and no one likes that. I can only hope that she decides on her own to quit, I would like this but I'd be kidding myself if I were to think it be an easy task to kick this sort of habit.



If she says she is unwilling to quit, I would be hurt quite a bit as I do like her. This is the outcome I am most worried about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 02:16 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,939 posts, read 20,289,036 times
Reputation: 12564
Any reason to quit smoking is a good reason.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 02:24 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,963 posts, read 7,607,849 times
Reputation: 7807
DAYUM, that's where I left them
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top