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Old 09-12-2019, 12:55 PM
 
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A friend from the USA met a girl while vacationing in France. They went out while he was on vacation there. She then visited him in the USA and stayed with him. This was going on for about 2 years. He found it a bit strange how whenever he suggested going to her place she would always come up with excuses why they couldn’t go to her place such as “Its too dirty…its being painted…doing some modifications…” Somehow a few months ago through her friends on social media he found wedding pictures of her. It turns out that when they started going out she was already in a relationship and later married while not telling him she had a boyfriend and how later she got married. He found her husband’s contact information and straight up told him what was going on apologizing he didn’t know anything for two years.

I asked him why he bothered going through all that and he thought it was sad how this guy would continue to be screwed if nobody brought this up, how someone had to stop this cheater, and therefore felt it was the right thing to do. He didn’t get defensive or aggressive with my friend and actually thanked him for that.

Would you stay quiet and let someone continue to hurt someone in a relationship thinking its none of your business or would you tell that person? I am sort of in between.
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Old 09-12-2019, 01:15 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,278 posts, read 13,170,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
A friend from the USA met a girl while vacationing in France. They went out while he was on vacation there. She then visited him in the USA and stayed with him. This was going on for about 2 years. He found it a bit strange how whenever he suggested going to her place she would always come up with excuses why they couldn’t go to her place such as “Its too dirty…its being painted…doing some modifications…” Somehow a few months ago through her friends on social media he found wedding pictures of her. It turns out that when they started going out she was already in a relationship and later married while not telling him she had a boyfriend and how later she got married. He found her husband’s contact information and straight up told him what was going on apologizing he didn’t know anything for two years.

I asked him why he bothered going through all that and he thought it was sad how this guy would continue to be screwed if nobody brought this up, how someone had to stop this cheater, and therefore felt it was the right thing to do. He didn’t get defensive or aggressive with my friend and actually thanked him for that.

Would you stay quiet and let someone continue to hurt someone in a relationship thinking its none of your business or would you tell that person? I am sort of in between.

I think he did the right thing. If I was being cheated on, I would be thankful if someone would tell me.
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Old 09-12-2019, 01:39 PM
 
8,113 posts, read 3,171,878 times
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Maybe he already knew, we don't all have the exact same opinions, expectations and relationships.
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Old 09-12-2019, 01:46 PM
 
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Eh... it's up to the individual and how deep in it he/she is at the "other" person (third wheel). I can imagine there being some heavy guilt there and no way to find closure for what that person has done other than to blurt out or vomit all the indiscretions. Whether or not that's right or wrong, I think you're probably going to find answers across the board on that one.
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Old 09-12-2019, 01:54 PM
 
Location: UK
1,176 posts, read 250,253 times
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I'd want to know, so I'd tell the person.
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Old 09-12-2019, 02:57 PM
 
12,462 posts, read 13,800,839 times
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Did anyone hear of the guy who left a note on the underside of the toilet seat?

He had sex with a girl then found out later she had a boyfriend. To inform the dude that his girl just cheated on him he left the note where only he would find it when he lifted both seats to pee. Lol
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Old 09-12-2019, 04:48 PM
 
1,455 posts, read 583,473 times
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I would tell that person WITH proof and let them decide what they will do after.No one deserves to be lied to or cheated on..period. Just because you tell someone that they're being cheated on doesn't mean that they will leave the relationship BUT at least they know.That's what is important so that THEY can made a decision then on what they want to do.
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Old 09-13-2019, 12:28 AM
 
2,897 posts, read 4,301,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
A friend from the USA met a girl while vacationing in France. They went out while he was on vacation there. She then visited him in the USA and stayed with him. This was going on for about 2 years. He found it a bit strange how whenever he suggested going to her place she would always come up with excuses why they couldn’t go to her place such as “Its too dirty…its being painted…doing some modifications…” Somehow a few months ago through her friends on social media he found wedding pictures of her. It turns out that when they started going out she was already in a relationship and later married while not telling him she had a boyfriend and how later she got married. He found her husband’s contact information and straight up told him what was going on apologizing he didn’t know anything for two years.

I asked him why he bothered going through all that and he thought it was sad how this guy would continue to be screwed if nobody brought this up, how someone had to stop this cheater, and therefore felt it was the right thing to do. He didn’t get defensive or aggressive with my friend and actually thanked him for that.

Would you stay quiet and let someone continue to hurt someone in a relationship thinking its none of your business or would you tell that person? I am sort of in between.

I just assume people that cheat are in open relationships and their S/Os don't really care, otherwise, they wouldn't' be together.



Would I tell? Sure why not? The more details the better. lol
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Old 09-13-2019, 09:55 AM
 
6,460 posts, read 6,195,691 times
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Originally Posted by codergirl View Post
I would tell that person WITH proof and let them decide what they will do after.No one deserves to be lied to or cheated on..period. Just because you tell someone that they're being cheated on doesn't mean that they will leave the relationship BUT at least they know.That's what is important so that THEY can made a decision then on what they want to do.
He did show him pictures as well. Not just pictures of them sitting at the coffee shop but embracing and on vacation as they went to Las Vegas when she visited him in the USA. She lied to her man telling him it was a business trip. You are right about the proof as there are people with bad intentions that would lie about things like these for vengeance or jealousy.
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Old 09-13-2019, 09:57 AM
 
6,460 posts, read 6,195,691 times
Reputation: 3692
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I think he did the right thing. If I was being cheated on, I would be thankful if someone would tell me.
There might be some people that get all defensive and aggressive towards the one that is telling them. Of course your first reaction can be like "Who do you think you are?! How could you say that?! ".
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