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Old 09-21-2019, 11:01 PM
 
48 posts, read 20,766 times
Reputation: 35

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There's this girl at work that I like and I know that she's recently had a boyfriend. They started dating back in June and there would be times when she was on her break in the break room and she'd be face-timing him and talking. But now she doesn't do that anymore and she just sits on her break in silence.

On top of that, I noticed that she's also deleted her pictures with him off of Instagram. They're all gone and I'd think that that's a sure sign that they broke up, but the one seed of doubt in my mind is the fact that they still like each other's pictures on Instagram. I've noticed that he still likes her new pictures and she still likes his as well. If they're broken up, why would they still be liking each other's pictures?

I just want to ensure that she's single before I ask her out, so as to avoid looking like a jackass. At work, me and her talk quite a bit and I know that she at least likes me as a friend, but I just want to be sure that she's single before I ask her out.
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Old 09-21-2019, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,573 posts, read 43,075,481 times
Reputation: 86324
Ask her, as part of your conversation.

If you don’t even know if she has a boyfriend, you don’t know her well enough to ask her out.
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Old 09-21-2019, 11:21 PM
 
8,108 posts, read 3,171,878 times
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Well, hereís what I replied a month ago when you asked this very same question, no doubt itís the same girl:
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
None of that matters. Hereís the trick: First ask her if she has a boyfriend, then if the answer is no, ask her if she would like to go out with you. Come up with a place, day, and time.

I dare you!
What have done about it since then, just a bit more stalking?
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Old Yesterday, 08:23 AM
 
48 posts, read 20,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
Well, here’s what I replied a month ago when you asked this very same question, no doubt it’s the same girl:

What have done about it since then, just a bit more stalking?
I just feel really awkward about asking her if she has a boyfriend. It makes it seem too obvious that I like her.
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Old Yesterday, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,573 posts, read 43,075,481 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
I just feel really awkward about asking her if she has a boyfriend. It makes it seem too obvious that I like her.
And asking her out doesn't???
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Old Yesterday, 08:34 AM
 
48 posts, read 8,795 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
I just feel really awkward about asking her if she has a boyfriend. It makes it seem too obvious that I like her.
You sound young and inexperienced. To get anything in life you have to jump out of your comfort zone and try or you aren't going to grow or be happy. What is the worst thing that'll happen? You don't have to ask if she has a boyfriend. Just ask her out. If she does then she will tell you. Asking if she has a boyfriend is what is awkward.
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Old Yesterday, 08:42 AM
 
1,143 posts, read 310,730 times
Reputation: 1978
A few ideas:

Ask her about her weekend and what she did -- see if she mentions a boyfriend. If not, discreetly ask if she went by herself. (not a guarantee but may give you a sense if she is seeing someone).

Arrange an after work group happy hour and ask her if she wants to join in. Get to know her better before you take the next step.
FWIW, this is how my husband and I started dating. We had such a great conversation and I could tell he was interested in me so I asked him if he wanted my phone number and he said yes.

One time I asked a colleague out indirectly. WHen we were discussing an activity (I don't recall what it was), I suggested that we get together sometime to do the activity. He didn't respond. So, from that I concluded he had a girlfriend or simply wasn't interested. I never brought it up again and we continued to be friendly at work.

Last edited by Maddie104; Yesterday at 08:55 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 09:02 AM
 
8,108 posts, read 3,171,878 times
Reputation: 13450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie104 View Post
...One time I asked a colleague out indirectly. WHen we were discussing an activity (I don't recall what it was), I suggested that we get together sometime to do the activity. He didn't respond. So, from that I concluded he had a girlfriend or simply wasn't interested. I never brought it up again and we continued to be friendly at work.
Good for you! Thatís still pretty much asking him to go out and do something with you, and itís not easy, I agree! Itís really the only way to find out if they want to do something with you though! I find even being a woman who gets messages on a dating site to be difficult. The round and round, messages, questions...if I didnít want to meet them, I wouldnít have answered the message, now ask when and where, for chrissakes!

It isnít easy for anyone, OP, the worst is already happening: You donít know, and you may wait too long! Or is that why youíre waiting? So someone else will come along, and you wonít have risk rejection?
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Old Yesterday, 09:25 AM
 
1,143 posts, read 310,730 times
Reputation: 1978
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancined View Post
There's this girl at work that I like and I know that she's recently had a boyfriend. They started dating back in June and there would be times when she was on her break in the break room and she'd be face-timing him and talking. But now she doesn't do that anymore and she just sits on her break in silence.

On top of that, I noticed that she's also deleted her pictures with him off of Instagram. They're all gone and I'd think that that's a sure sign that they broke up, but the one seed of doubt in my mind is the fact that they still like each other's pictures on Instagram. I've noticed that he still likes her new pictures and she still likes his as well. If they're broken up, why would they still be liking each other's pictures?

I just want to ensure that she's single before I ask her out, so as to avoid looking like a jackass. At work, me and her talk quite a bit and I know that she at least likes me as a friend, but I just want to be sure that she's single before I ask her out.
I wouldn't think too much of the "liking" photos. My daughter likes photos of ex-boyfriends where the parting was amicable yet she has moved on.
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Old Yesterday, 09:39 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
79,641 posts, read 72,221,558 times
Reputation: 78268
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
And asking her out doesn't???
lol. OP, what's wrong with her knowing that you like her?
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