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Old Yesterday, 05:32 PM
 
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In a long term relationship you spend multiple days a week and constant communication with someone. You share family and friends. You share sex, secrets,inside jokes, and your life with them. And then when it ends you suddenly stop seeing them all at once and usually forever. You cut off communication. You remove everything that reminds you of them. It’s just such a shock and so hard, even if you ended it yourselfand know it’s the right thing to do. Does it seem like this to most people?

Last edited by Berteau; Yesterday at 06:04 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,716 posts, read 43,201,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
Iím a long term relationship you spend multiple days a week and constant communication with someone. You share family and friends. You share sex, secrets,inside jokes, and your life with them. And then when it ends you suddenly stop seeing them all at once and usually forever. You cut off communication. You remove everything that reminds you of them. Itís just such a shock and so hard, even if you ended it yourselfand know itís the right thing to do. Does it seem like this to most people?
Yes, breakups usually suck, even if the relationship was bad, and avoidance of that bad is what makes some people stay in bad relationships longer than they should.

We get accustomed to habits, and habits are very hard to break.
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Old Yesterday, 06:09 PM
 
996 posts, read 395,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berteau View Post
In a long term relationship you spend multiple days a week and constant communication with someone. You share family and friends. You share sex, secrets,inside jokes, and your life with them. And then when it ends you suddenly stop seeing them all at once and usually forever. You cut off communication. You remove everything that reminds you of them. Itís just such a shock and so hard, even if you ended it yourselfand know itís the right thing to do. Does it seem like this to most people?
Yes, I think this is true for most people. Thats why rebound relationships are so common. People want to replace what they have lost. Even if the relationship was bad, its also natural to romanticize the past. Its easier to remember the good things, we tend to glorify the person in our memories.

I think people were designed to bond, it goes against our base nature to create and break so many bonds, which is why it is so painful. But when a relationship is bad, we just have to endure the pain of breaking that bond. It does get better with time.
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Old Yesterday, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Texas
10,823 posts, read 4,134,035 times
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If it's really a LTR, not a short term fling, the person should have a closure conversation about the break-up.
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Old Yesterday, 07:08 PM
 
57 posts, read 11,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If it's really a LTR, not a short term fling, the person should have a closure conversation about the break-up.
That's not always possible. Sometimes things get toxic and it's tough to make a break and move on with any sort of contact. Closure is a little overrated and personally I think it's just opening a can of blame and contention.
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Old Today, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Way up high
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It's a definite slap to the face
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Old Today, 08:49 PM
 
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You are literally going through withdrawal. Biochemically when you fall in love, you get hit of dopamine and adrenaline when you see the person you love. When you break up, you are no longer getting the dopamine hits and it can take a while to re-equilibrate.

Probably the best thing you can do is to exercise regularly. The exercise will also provide the dopamine hits and it will get you out of your head in terms of obsessing over past love.
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