Attempt at socializing/charity or how I wasted my day... (date, guy)

[sierraAZ]

Today I was supposed to go to our county fair. I have a coworker who moved here from out of state about a year ago. All this time he's done pretty much nothing but vegging out on his couch... I kept asking him if he's gone at least to the tourist attractions - no! Every morning he shows up, rests his chin on the cube wall and announces how tired he is, including Mondays, after having done laundry at best during the weekend. He took an extra job for a few hours after work, but he's 26 for cryin' out loud! Every Monday I hear how he did nothing over the weekend. Granted, I don't do much myself lately, but in the meantime I was having a house built, packed, moved, unpacked, all by myself, and still managed to do SOMETHING occasionally! So, at the beginning of this week we were talking again about how there's nothing to do and he sorta lamented nobody ever suggests anything. In a moment of temporary insanity I said the county fair was coming up and asked him if he wanted to come with me. He said he did. On Fri there was again whining and attempts at weaseling out of it, which would've been wonderful looking back...

To make it clear, this wasn't a date of any sort or shape; just a friendly attempt to get him off the couch for a change. For a while, he was my cube neighbor and we had some fun, so I figured it wouldn't be too bad to go to the fair together. What a disaster this was! He showed up on time and did nothing but yawning all the way over... Once we were there, there was nothing that could possibly interest him or excite him... nothing, nada, zilch! Was dragging his feet as if he was being taken to the slaughterhouse. If I didn't talk some, we could've spent the whole time in silence. After painful and loooong 1 1/2 hours (geez, I would've rather had a root canal done) I told him it didn't seem like he was enjoying himself and asked him if he wanted to leave. Then he said he was too "city" for this type of thing... Mind you, I'm "city," too, but last time I checked "city" wasn't a synonym of dead. Mind you also, he's a self-admitted 7-year old in a 25-year old body (26 now), who plays games, assembles games, goes to San Diego because of LL (don't wanna spell it out because city-data shows up in an awful lot of searches) alone and brings back 3 bags of toys to assemble, so I thought a fair would be a good place to take a kid. Besides, he was acting dead before he even saw what the fair was about. Heck, I could fake some excitement even at football game not to make the other person totally uncomfortable. What was worse, since I live not far from the fair and it didn't make sense to pay for parking 2 cars, I left mine at home. Ended up going back to get my car and spent a few more hours at the fair, but my whole day was ruined as I was a little tired already, pissed at myself for doing something so stupid, and had seen things in passing.

To get to my point finally... Don't wanna sound like a senior complaining of the younger generation, but I really find many of the youngun's so dull, dull, painfully dull! I thought I'd become totally dead inside and a shell of myself after all my fun experiences in life, but in comparison to him I'm alive and kicking! Do you encounter such dull, boring, and interested in nothing people often? Would you say you notice more of them in one age group over another? Was my experience just a fluke? You'd think some folks were raised by wolves... Now I understand why more and more people recommend short and sweet dates. Imagine this were a date... What a dreadful experience it'd be!

If you ask why in the world I did that, it'd be a legitimate question..., so I'll answer it right now. First, it was a spontaneous suggestion. Second, since I'm a transplant here without much of a social life myself, I kinda felt for him and thought he just needed a kick in the rear and some company to actually get out and do something. Anyway, no biggie and probably not worth typing it and wasting your time, too, but felt like ranting some.

[ellie]

Yeah, I know what you mean about the younger generation. Just not into cultural events. Maybe it's just this kid who's a loser.

I've been trying to do a few things with an older (but not old) female co-worker who I enjoy talking to at lunch. Last time we went to an event we made the mistake of starting to talk about work and barely talked about anything else the whole time.

Next time, we've agreed to not talk about work, even if we get stuck for conversation, and try to find something else to talk about.

Recommendation: tonight get a glass of wine, sit outside and look at the moon.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by ellie

Next time, we've agreed to not talk about work, even if we get stuck for conversation, and try to find something else to talk about.

With some people the conversation goes effortlessly, with some it's painful... I've no patience to be with people I've nothing to talk about. Even talking itself is not that important. I'm not some blabber box by any means. Just don't wanna waste any time with somebody who the entire time looks like he/she doesn't wanna be there. Can't imagine how somebody so young can have interest in nothing... Because it's not just this fair. Not that Tucson is the most exciting place in the world, but if I were in his shoes, I would've seen everything there is to be seen by now.

Recommendation: tonight get a glass of wine, sit outside and look at the moon.

Oh, it's not that big of a deal. I just finished my beer and me happy. The event itself is not too important and I can go again if I want to. It's just that such experiences put a damper on my already way diminished desire to approach anybody...

[gentlearts]

Well, this kid is dead weight, for sure. Sounds as though just being around him would bring anyone down, too. Hang in there doing things you enjoy and eventually you'll find some like minded people to "play with".

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by gentlearts

Well, this kid is dead weight, for sure. Sounds as though just being around him would bring anyone down, too. Hang in there doing things you enjoy and eventually you'll find some like minded people to "play with".

I really don't mind my own company at all. I would've had a wonderful time alone. Could've chatted and/or flirted with random visitors and vendors... Pursuit of new people is not my top priority by any means, but sometimes you try to do the socially acceptable thing...

[sierraAZ]

You know, I think I've become a total savage! Now I remembered this one time I went on a day trip with a guy I didn't know that well, so there was this need for talking... with no pauses. We have things in common and he's a great guy; however, I have an accent and so does he. That's always tiring to me. In addition, his English is not particularly good. To top it off, I hadn't been in his car before and didn't know he was a horrible driver. After a whole day of talking and enduring the drive, I got home and literally threw up... It appears I can only deal with virtual people at this point...

[The Man in SATX]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

You know, I think I've become a total savage! Now I remembered this one time I went on a day trip with a guy I didn't know that well, so there was this need for talking... with no pauses. We have things in common and he's a great guy; however, I have an accent and so does he. That's always tiring to me. In addition, his English is not particularly good. To top it off, I hadn't been in his car before and didn't know he was a horrible driver. After a whole day of talking and enduring the drive, I got home and literally threw up... It appears I can only deal with virtual people at this point...

LOL.. I gotta give ya an A for effort in an attempt to culturlize someone..

[miu]

Sorry your day was horrible. But at least you tried... and the next time he whines, you can just ignore him. I'm always willing to give anyone just one chance. So you did a good thing, but never try to help this guy out again.

A lot of young people seem very closeminded about life. And for some of them, their idea of fun is to get drunk or high beforehand. On one message board, one group always goes to some Wurstfest in TX, and it's always a contest of who gets the most drunk and silly. And that's not my idea of fun now or when I was their age. I hope they have tough livers.

[The Man in SATX]

Originally Posted by miu

Sorry your day was horrible. But at least you tried... and the next time he whines, you can just ignore him. I'm always willing to give anyone just one chance. So you did a good thing, but never try to help this guy out again.

A lot of young people seem very closeminded about life. And for some of them, their idea of fun is to get drunk or high beforehand. On one message board, one group always goes to some Wurstfest in TX, and it's always a contest of who gets the most drunk and silly. And that's not my idea of fun now or when I was their age. I hope they have tough livers.

That wurstfest is the New Braunfels Wurst Fest.. I know about that one.. been there a few times.. and yeap.. many drunk people !!

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by miu

Sorry your day was horrible. But at least you tried... and the next time he whines, you can just ignore him. I'm always willing to give anyone just one chance. So you did a good thing, but never try to help this guy out again.

A lot of young people seem very closeminded about life. And for some of them, their idea of fun is to get drunk or high beforehand. On one message board, one group always goes to some Wurstfest in TX, and it's always a contest of who gets the most drunk and silly. And that's not my idea of fun now or when I was their age. I hope they have tough livers.

As my personal life has always been more or less of a mess I didn't want to be known in the office, I used to strictly separate my personal and work life. Lately I've been making some concessions, but started having second thoughts about that again... Well, I'm certainly not going anywhere with this one again.

I don't know what it is... might be the age gap... Even on the forums (when I'm aware of somebody's age), I seem not to relate to the younger crowd. Perhaps it's only natural. I just have no experience with it. I've always been friends with people at least about my age and much older; same with relationships.