Why are all the good men taken? (sex, spouses, straight)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that the available, sociable, and genuinely attractive man is a character highly in demand in social settings. Dinner hosts are always looking for the man who fits all the criteria. When they don't find him (often), they throw up their hands and settle for the sociable but unattractive, the attractive but unsociable, and, as a last resort, for the merely available.
Do people really take this approach to dinner parties? How horribly superficial and bland. Maybe it's a Manhattan or Hollywood thing. When people I know are deciding who to have over for dinner, the only "criteria" they consider is whether they would enjoy having dinner with that person.
Men with options that won't give frustrated women the time of day.
Lol
It's actually quite easy to find a "good man" for a woman, it just depends on whether a woman truly wants she she say she wants. I think most women truly want a "good man" just some realize it faster than others, the ones who realize it faster get all the "good men" thus leaving less "good men" for the other ones when they finally want one (and not just say it but do it)...think about that one lol **** I don't what the **** im saying lol.
I didn't read that article, but I will give my two cents for what it's worth.
Not long ago, I got done playing a gig and a girl working at the place told me I was cute... and then saw my wedding ring. Her comment to her co-worker was "Man, why are all the cute ones married?". (I imagine she was in her mid-20s.)
This girl had tattoos, a belly button ring, and she stunk of cigarette smoke. Ladies, none of those things say "I'm a good woman" to a good man. I know that a lot of men think that stuff is attractive... but for the most part, those men ain't the good ones. A lot of y'all complain that you cannot find a good man because they're all taken... well, they're not all taken. The problem is not a dearth of available men... it's YOU!
To illustrate, I had a friend back in the day when I lived in NJ... last time I talked with her, she was 39 years old and still single. By that time, she was definitely desperate to get married because she wanted a child and her biological clock was ticking. She was not unattractive, and she acted younger than her age. However, it didn't take long for me to learn why she was still single and forever complaining about how hard it was to find a good man. In her 20s, she did the bachelorette thing... gallavanting around with all kinds of guys, bar-hopping, clubbing, whatever... she lacked the desire to settle down at that time, always figuring that once she got done having fun in her younger years, THEN she could find a good man when she was a bit older... and settle down. However, being 39 years old, almost all of the men she had access to, in her general age range, were either freeloading losers who were still living with Mommy and Daddy despite being in their 30s... or divorced single parents. She was willing to settle for a divorced single parent... but how many divorced single daddies around 40 years old were still desirous of having another child? Now, had she looked for a good man in her 20s rather than playing the bar-fly game, she'd have found him... and been happily married with children of her own by age 39.
She learned the hard way that the good men get snatched fast... because there ain't many of them! Lots of men do that uber-bachelor stuff too... they live for sports and drinking and casual sex... well, deep down, women want love even if they're bar flies. So, if a woman happens to find a man who is not into all of that superficial stuff and actually wants to settle down and give true love, they're going to do whatever they can to take him off the market. Such men get their pick of the single women... and because of that, they won't settle until they find a good one too. Then they get married, like I did, because that's what they always wanted to begin with.
Contrary to popular belief, there are good men out there. The only trouble is, most women believe they can find such men at bars, clubs, the mall, the bus stop, whatever. Sometimes that happens. Most of the time, it doesn't. If you want to find a good man with good values who isn't prone to philandering, maybe the first place you should look is CHURCH!!!! Not all men who go to church are "good men", but you've got a much better shot at finding a good man if you look at church than you would if you look at the corner tavern.
You can look on the Internet too. The Internet is absolutely wonderful... that's how I found my wife, after all. Let's face it, ladies, for as much as you may complain about not being able to find a good man... good men complain about not being able to find a good woman. I always wanted to find the right one, and settle down... and I kept finding superficial women and bar flies.
So that means that your very first step, when it comes to finding a good man, is that you have to be the "good woman" that such a man would want to marry. Stop drinking, stop smoking, stop dressing like a floozy, stop going to bars, stop socializing with groups of superficial people, and get your head straight. Think about the kind of man you want... and then realize that such a man, who brings THAT MUCH to the table of humanity, will want to get himself a woman who brings an equal amount to said table.
I guarantee that there are a lot of good men still out there... waiting to find the right woman... I know some such men! I didn't meet she who became my wife until I was 26 years old... and that's OLD for a bachelor even by today's standards. Good men will wait to find a good woman... and they won't settle for less.
Okay for that. I don't have tattoos or piercings. I didn't **** around in my younger years and still don't. I don't dress like a floozy, socialize with "superficial" people, go to bars, smoke, drink all the time, and I got my head on straight so what about me? I see women all around me with those qualities who are married or are never short of male attention.
Oh by the way have you ever been to church? All the men there are taken too. And even if they weren't, do they really want anything to do with women with all of your aforementioned no-no qualities, known in the house of worship basically as "sinners"? A couple like that isn't going to mesh either and will likely divorce or split up also. So your perky-together pseudo-judgmental sermon, however well-meaning it was, really is of little help, sorry to say.
All the good men are not taken. Just like all the good women are not taken. You look in the wrong places you will only find the wrong type. No matter who you find. We all settle to some extent.
I've posted it before, but 50% of the people who marry don't get divorced. It's a misquoted statistic and a 40-year-old statistic at that. It's actually closer to 30%.
The problem is they get that statistic by figure out how many people are married in a given year and how many people divorce in a given year. But some of the people that divorce weren't married that year.
So take for example a town where 1000 couples are married. 100 couples get married that year and 50 couples divorce. Half the town didn't get divorced, 50 couples did. And it wasn't 50 couples that got married that year necessarily... it could have been 10 couples that married 5 years ago, 20 couples that married 7 years ago, and the rest that got married 10-20 years ago.
True enough. Every time I see that stat, I chuckle. My mom's on her fourth marriage. My stepdad, brother-in-law and sister on their second. Grandma on her third, a grandfather on his third or fourth. Liz Taylor had seven or eight marriages. They aren't that unusual.
Those kinds of numbers over and over drag the phony stat getting around down in a big way. A lot of marriages have to work to bring that alleged 50% number up, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by matt1984
I find that the woman who think that all the good men are taken are the ones who have really high unrealistic standards and are making excuses for them.
Pretty much. I was looking at a recent post by a FB acquaintance. Her post was this:
"Men are absolutely impossible. Hence why I gave up on them a long time ago."
with a reply to another guy of:
"The woman will always want to do things get (her?) way and if you want to be with her you just need to deal with it"
Riiiight. A red-blooded masculine male with his gonads in place is just going to get run over by a woman? Nope. Women who believe men are impossible to deal with, you know, because keeping a guy fed after a long day at work and procreating with him once in a while are hard concepts to understand...are flat out impossible and deserve to fail at life.
Don't overthink this, ladies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASOT
Men with options that won't give frustrated women the time of day.
Very true. Men whose lives don't revolve around getting laid and having arm candy every night aren't that desperate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito
Okay for that. I don't have tattoos or piercings. I didn't **** around in my younger years and still don't. I don't dress like a floozy, socialize with "superficial" people, go to bars, smoke, drink all the time, and I got my head on straight so what about me? I see women all around me with those qualities who are married or are never short of male attention.
Oh by the way have you ever been to church? All the men there are taken too. And even if they weren't, do they really want anything to do with women with all of your aforementioned no-no qualities, known in the house of worship basically as "sinners"? A couple like that isn't going to mesh either and will likely divorce or split up also. So your perky-together pseudo-judgmental sermon, however well-meaning it was, really is of little help, sorry to say.
1. What's your point? Why would you want anything to do with losers like that and why does it worry you that those couples are together?
2. It stinks, but let's be honest here. Guys have hobbies and a womans number one hobby is usually having a guy in their lives. It is a cruel curse of nature. Unfortunately, with how the family courts do in most guys (I've seen it up close with how my parents divorced...mom remarried 2x more and she was very insecure while single, dad never bothered and he's lived just fine), you'll have to get used to it.
You are right, though. A guy with his head on straight ain't going to make news and probably won't feel the biological clock ticking like a woman in a similar situation does. Sorry. Don't know what to do about that. I have no rush to get hitched at 33 and for some reason my mom and grandmother seem to think I need to feel reassured that this is okay. Women. They won't get it.
True enough. Every time I see that stat, I chuckle. My mom's on her fourth marriage. My stepdad, brother-in-law and sister on their second. Grandma on her third, a grandfather on his third or fourth. Liz Taylor had seven or eight marriages. They aren't that unusual.
Those kinds of numbers over and over drag the phony stat getting around down in a big way. A lot of marriages have to work to bring that alleged 50% number up, too.
HOLY COW! That's a lot of divorces in your family. My parents are still married. My husband's parents are still married. My Grandparents are still married. His Grandfather is widowed and remarried 9 years now. I have one aunt that divorced (never remarried) and my husband has one uncle that divorced and remarried something like 20 years now. Everyone else is still married or there's my aunt who is a widow.
There isn't any strict feeling that you MUST NOT get divorced in my own family. My husband's family are all Christians and seem to think divorce is heresy. I just never worried about it with my parents. I mean, my parents argue, but they always seem so together. We've got enough other issues to deal with as it is.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
lol **** I don't what the **** im saying lol.
